#drivers rights

[4lawyer]

[4lawyer]

If any of you pill manufacturers were using animals then you might need to sign off of medi-cals role call. Nobody likes to work for free

[bobgunderson]

Lee's “Be Nice, Look Twice” Campaign Matched With "Look Over Your Shoulder, and Carry a Boulder"

In 2013, there was a near-record high of 21 pedestrian fatalities and 4 cyclist fatalities in San Francisco.  Mayor Lee announced his "Be Nice, Look Twice" campaign and he's received a lot of criticism for "pedestrian and cyclist blaming".  Shortly after, his advisers whipped up an equally worthy campaign, "Look Over Your Shoulder, and Carry a Boulder".

Preparing to walk through SF! image found here.

"We know that pedestrians are the most vulnerable to cars, but they need to understand that people need to get from point A to B as quickly as possible, and even though they're driving a 2 ton vehicle with the potential for a high velocity collision, the pedestrian can be just as much to blame." said Lee's spokesman. He followed up with, "Cars are responsible for 66% of the accidents in the city, and that's why we we're trying to equal the playing field with cars, and encourage pedestrians to carry a boulder whenever possible".

Pedestrian hiding behind a boulder for dear life. image found here

The boulder rules are similar to driving a car in the city.  As long as you don't intend on hurting anyone by carrying a boulder around, you won't be held accountable for any accidents.  Pedestrians are assured if they hurl a boulder into the middle of an intersection, so long as they weren't targeting anyone in particular it will be considered an inevitable fact of life in the city.

"Only two of the drivers responsible for fatalities faced any consequences, and the same will apply to boulder wielding pedestrians. Image found here. 

[bobgunderson]

Drive Your Fat Ass to Work Day

DYFA Day in full swing!

It's that time of year again!  No, I'm not talking about "Take Your Idiotcycle to Work Day".  It's only a week away from "Drive Your Fat Ass to Work Day" where the city devotes an entire day to encouraging exclusive single vehicle ridership to work on the streets of San Francisco.

Getting ready for the Annual Drive!

On Thursday, May 16th the annual DYFA begins! San Franciscans are encourages to ditch their walking shoes, throw away their bikes, abandon public transit, and partake in the glory of personal vehicle dominance that has been enjoyed for over a century.  Everyone is welcome, from easily distracted and inexperienced youth, multiple DUI motorists, fender benders, speed demons, to unchecked elderly drivers!  Some sidewalks and the .5% of bicycle infrastructure in the city will be removed and modified to accommodate faster driving speeds and to more free subsidized lockers for cars.

Useless sidewalks become car lockers and extra drive-able space to allow a smooth commute to work.  

Gary Rigmore, advocate for DYFA, said, "People need to be reminded that motorists aren't like walkers or bikers.  We're not mildly annoying where we could bump into you, cause some minor scuffs, or suffer some collateral damage to ourselves in the process.  We are bigger, faster, indestructible  and can KILL you."  Gary's goal is to instill the kind of fear back into the minds of pedestrians and walkers that has been chipped away with bicycle lane and pedestrian safety improvements. The SFPD will help to block off sidewalk traffic and has sent fliers to SF residents to purchase, lease, rent or  borrow cars while the celebration takes place.  Carpooling is strongly discouraged and BART and MUNI will shut down entirely to encourage the combined million passengers to seek more independent modes of transportation.  SFPD has also been asked to be lax with speed limit enforcement, distracted drivers, and parking in bike lanes.  They assured the city that they're experts at this, with decades of topnotch experience uninforcing vehicle laws.

Sidewalks will be closed off to discourage walking and other pathetic modes of commuting. 

Fellow car advocate, blogger, and EIR molester, Bob Gunderson expressed elation. "Everyone knows I don't have to commute to a workplace, and I haven't driven a vehicle in decades, but this kind of car celebration reminds me of the way things used to be, and therefore always should be".  With tear-stained eyes,  Bob then scurried back into his house to resume his lifelong work as blogging shut-in. Local merchants, who typically rely on foot traffic for a size-able chuck of their income, will join in by offering donuts, 60 oz. drinks and hamburgers on the urban freeways.  Many of the them plan to wear brightly colored shirts to avoid a city mandated "don't stand your ground" law passed for the celebration. The ordinance fines walkers and cyclists if they get in the way of vehicles.  Fines will also double for pedestrians that are struck by a vehicle.

Donuts will be offered to motorists, and peds will be corralled in the background so motorists can enjoy eating and driving  to work with little pedestrian distraction.  

Gary Rigmore is looking forward to the day's events.  "We really need to get the word out about car dominance.  One day a year is just not enough for this kind of celebration.  We should have one every month, or week  We also need to make sure people don't get this day confused with, say, every day."