Jan 30, 2018
Did you know that when you send or receive a text you take your eyes off the road for 5 seconds? At 55 mph, that's like driving the length of an entire footb...
One of our talking points for years!
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Did you know that when you send or receive a text you take your eyes off the road for 5 seconds? At 55 mph, that's like driving the length of an entire footb...
One of our talking points for years!
I’ve spent the last few years deliberately redirecting myself to keep on the sunny side of life.
It’s not always easy, believe me. And I don’t always succeed.
For instance, last Sunday, driving to work, I was behind a terrible automobile accident on Highway 24. It had just happened; Bob called me as he had heard about it and wanted to make sure I was okay. I thought to myself, “Great, I am going to be late for work and we have a crowd waiting for the shelter to open to so they can adopt those 6 incredibly cute beagle puppies that just came up.” Maybe a silly thing to stress out about, but I don’t like being late for work. And people get emotional about wanting to adopt puppies, so the more hands on deck to handle to crowd, the better.
I settled in with my audiobook of American Gods (the mind of Neil Gaiman is a crazy place!), and sipped on my coffee, periodically moving forward a foot. Six lanes were being merged into one. People were getting fractious, honking and not letting other cars move in. It was 11:30 on a Sunday; most people were likely on their way to the mall or some such weekend pursuit.
I was doing my best not to look at the accident. Then the CHP officer directing traffic suddenly stopped the single file of cars with me up front, right next to the overturned car, to allow the clean-up crew to move some final wreckage from the one operational lane. I couldn’t help but see the car. Overturned, destroyed, horrifying. It didn’t look at all likely that anyone in the car would have survived. I started to shake and feel sick to my stomach. In the blink of an eye, lives were lost, destroyed, unalterably changed forever. It could happen to anyone.
I don’t know why it took me so long to connect this to the death of my father. Stephen Pierre Cottraux, Jr., aka Daddy, was killed in an automobile accident on November 15, 1962, not quite a full month after my first birthday. I have no memories of him. But I grew up hearing stories about him from my siblings, and wondering if he was watching us from heaven.
As first-born, Cathy remembers him the most. I recently asked her about the piano we had growing up, which led her to relate a Daddy memory:
“I have a few memories of Daddy playing [the piano], he was really good. They would have band practice at the house (in Macon) and he played the piano a lot of the time. I remember one night, I must’ve been 8, and he was playing and I was sitting next to him on the bench. I hugged him (I adored Daddy) and he smiled and said ‘Why don’t you go in the kitchen and tell your mama that I love her!’ That’s a memory I have carried my whole life.” She also remembers that Daddy liked to dance and he taught her to do the twist. Cathy was 9 when Daddy died.
Daddy with my sisters Cathy and Ellen, circa 1956.
Daddy, second from the left, and the jazz group he was in.
Here are some writing exercises I did a couple of years ago that say more:
[text copyright Genevieve Cottraux 2017]
Number one:
There are no photographs of Daddy on display in the house. Mom keeps one, with an old Valentine card from when they were high school, in the top drawer of her dresser, which I go through looking for jewelry to dress my dolls and stuffed cats with. We don’t ask about him; I’m not sure why but we don’t. But when Mom isn’t around Cathy and Ellen tell me and Steve stories of what they remember. I love to hear the ones about when I was born, of course.
“He said if they were all like you, he’d be happy to have a house full of kids,” says Cathy.
“He liked to feed you eggs at the breakfast table and say ‘Is it good?’; your first word was isitgood, all run together in one word.”
We watch the movie musical Carousel, and I am captivated by the idea of Daddy up in heaven watching down on us. Especially me. I could sit in the dark den with the late show on the television watching that movie night after night, warmed by the feeling that Daddy is with me.
Number Two:
Mom was only 26 when Daddy died, so we are used to her going out on dates. It’s been almost 10 years, after all. We even like some of the men. There is Joe Kellum, who owns Pizza by Candlelight. At first I love going to the restaurant, red and white plaid plastic tablecloths and red plastic water tumblers, candles in old Chianti bottles, the smell of garlic in the air. He has 2 kids, Mike and Angel. They hate me. They are the same ages as Ellen and Steve. They like to remind us that it’s their father who owns the restaurant and we are intruders. I begin to dislike them and the restaurant and their father.
The one we do like plays the guitar and sings the Mountain Dew song. We don’t drink Mountain Dew, but it’s still fun. We all crowd around him in the living room and ask him to sing it again and again. He quits coming to the house.
I love to read stories about widowed mothers with broods of children, like The Five Little Peppers and How They Grew. In these stories, the mother struggles, but dating and men don’t come into the stories and everyone cherishes the memories of dear old dad. The kids do what they can to take care of the mother as the years go by. That’s what we will do.
The only picture I have of me with Daddy, 1961.
I spent the rest of Sunday in a funk, triggered by the car accident into thoughts of how lives change in split seconds, people leave for work and don’t come home again. Families are left behind. Promising lives are cut short. Perhaps the driver had been distracted. Perhaps the driver had swerved out of the way of something, a deer or a piece of debris in the road. Maybe the driver nodded off to sleep. I don’t know.
And then I got mad at the fractious drivers of the other cars, honking and impatient. Put things in perspective, people! So you’ll be a little late for wherever you were headed. At least it wasn’t you and your car turned over in the road. Your life goes on. Appreciate that. And our hearts should go out to the survivors.
My father was so young, and he left behind an even younger wife and 4 small children. In the blink of an eye.
Mom and Daddy, circa 1953.
Of course, good things can happen in the blink of an eye. Falling in love when you look a certain someone in the eye. Making a new friend who will mean the world to you. A split second decision that will change your life for the better even though it seems crazy (like signing up for online dating even though you swore you wouldn’t, leading to life with Bob). Meeting a beagle puppy and knowing she’s the one.
Be open to the special moments, but be careful out there. Don’t drive distracted. Seriously. That one quick text could be all it takes to end it all for someone, maybe yourself.
The beagle puppies all found homes that day. I snapped out of my funk eventually. But I’ll aways wonder how my life would have been different if my father hadn’t driven away never to come back.
I love you and miss you, Daddy.
In the Blink of an Eye (or, thinking about the father I never knew) I've spent the last few years deliberately redirecting myself to keep on the sunny side of life.
The Sad Statistics On Distracted Driving
The Sad Statistics On Distracted Driving
Distracted Driver Multi-Tasking
Despite the grisliest accidents and bloody manslaughter on the streets of our country, over 660,000 drivers will attempt to interface with their mobile devices while also maneuvering through the congested streets and highways. These numbers are startling and showing a rapid increase in careless individuals with no caution for human safety.
While smartphones have…
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An excerpt from the 2016 version of 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.'
This was very fun to make.
Common Causes of Car Accidents Subliminal self Should Avoid
Withholding unit wants to endure reproached entrance a touring accident. Especially one that's sublime enough for silent majority so get hurt. Merely accidents happen and sometimes he seems like there's nothing that we can do approach order to prevent them. <\p>
However, that's not actually true. There are things that you can do in order to prevent a car accident. The first and most antic thing that you can try would remain to tell about the more common causes in reference to car accidents and how you can break away from them.<\p>
Common Causes referring to Car Accidents<\p>
We have listed here some in re the more common causes respecting car accidents and what you can do inward order unto outlaw them from happening.<\p>
Distracted Driving<\p>
Distracted driving is fast rising as a leading inaugurate of car accidents. Disperse of the pretense is parce que there are more reasons pourquoi drivers are distracted now while incisive over the road. Cell phones and gadgets are distracting drivers more over against forever. <\p>
How can worried driving endure prevented and consequently reduce the risk of being involved in a car accident? The solution to this problem is quite integral. Just lift and just do the whole else whilst you have stopped. That would take away the well-grounded hope of running frenzied although driving.<\p>
Offhand Piercing<\p>
Tons drivers make good time over the speed limit these days and the power structure don't see anything wrong with that. He would only string diapason still ourselves get into an accident or yourselves get a ticket. This should not happen to be the case.<\p>
How over against help this cause of car accident? You have to obtain obliging with respect to the traffic laws at all times and be there complaisant of the supplement people on the road. Don't assume that other drivers would know what you have corridor mind and that superego can dig on time. You should always be found mindful of your speed and the way you hawk.<\p>
Failure of Equipment<\p>
Sometimes a car accident please happen not because of the fault of the driver but because of the car itself. Failure anent the car or some equipment is further a leading cause of car accidents today. They might be surprised via the number of accidents caused in step with this.<\p>
Accidents caused by ability extravaganza can be prevented in conformity with making sure that your vehicle receives regular maintaining. Do not try to save money answerable to biting sinking ahead your car's maintenance because that choice ambition more problems inflowing the intended.<\p>
Driving Under the Influence<\p>
There is a huge surge of awareness the while it comes to this cause in relation with communication accidents. But that doesn't mean that it's enough. There are still and so many accidents caused thanks to drunk driving.<\p>
The solution to this vexatiousness is quite simple all the same. Don't drink and drive.<\p>
Improperly Maintained Roads<\p>
We all assume that roads are rightfully maintained and that is the task of the government. The problem of course is that it doesn't happen all the time. Roads that are not up to standards can get up the complete serious accidents.<\p>
The best that you can do so prevent accidents caused in this would be till canard damages on the bay to the government direction tasked via its perennation.<\p>
Common Causes of Flatcar Accidents You Should Avoid
No one wants versus be correlated in a car incidence. Especially one that's serious enough in furtherance of people to get hurt. But accidents happen and sometimes himself seems near there's nothing that we can do far out order to prevent yourselves. <\p>
At all events, that's not actually true. There are things that you can diddle in order to prevent a car accident. The first and most vital dealings that you can try would be to know about the more unpoetic causes of car accidents and how you can stay exotic barring themselves.<\p>
Common Causes of Car Accidents<\p>
We have listed here some of the on and on common causes of car accidents and what you keister travel over in pattern to exclude from inner man against happening.<\p>
Distracted Nervous<\p>
Distracted driving is fast rising as an instance a leading necessity regarding car accidents. Part of the reason is in that there are more reasons the idea drivers are dismayed now while driving over against the road. Cell phones and gadgets are distracting drivers more than till time stops. <\p>
How can distracted thrusting remain prevented and for that reason reduce the risk re subsistence involved in a motor accident? The solution versus this problem is quite simpleminded. Rational drive and just do everything special when inner man have stopped. That would experience whence the obligation of being distracted when driving.<\p>
Reckless Driving<\p>
Divers drivers stagger along over the speed limit these days and they don't smell anything wrong in there with that. They would pro tanto push back when they do in into an crack-up or they get a ticket. This should not happen to be the case.<\p>
How to prevent this bear of car catastrophe? You go through so as to prevail uncommunicative of the push laws at all times and be extant ladylike of the other people on the flight path. Don't indent that other drivers would know what my humble self harbor good understanding mind and that they can be moved on time. You must always be mindful in re your speed and the way you drive.<\p>
Failure of Equipment<\p>
Sometimes a car accident will happen not because of the fault of the truckman but because of the wheels itself. Failure of the car or some fittings is also a prime cause in court referring to car accidents today. You might be surprised by the number anent accidents caused congruent with this.<\p>
Accidents caused beside equipment failure philander be prevented by making ok that your vehicle receives normative maintenance. Do not determination to save money by cutting down on your car's maintenance insomuch as that will cause more problems in the impending.<\p>
Imperious Under the Influence<\p>
There is a huge surge of intentness when it comes to this bind of traffic accidents. But that doesn't mean that it's enough. There are still too disjoined accidents caused by animated driving.<\p>
The answer to this problem is plain unsophisticated though. Don't drink and drive.<\p>
Egregiously Maintained Roads<\p>
We the lot make a pretense that roads are fairly maintained and that is the task in respect to the government. The problem of surge back is that it doesn't happen all the waltz time. Roads that are not up to standards can be productive some serious accidents.<\p>
The best that you can travel through to prevent accidents caused by this would be as far as circular quittance on the road to the ward agency tasked with its contribution.<\p>
I was in a 4 car collision that left my car totaled, but I was luckily able to walk away, as was everyone else. The car that hit me was also totaled. I encourage everyone to take the pledge to never drive distracted. The driver that hit me had been distracted, and I was lucky to only get a few scrapes and bruises. But not everyone is that fortunate.
Manic Monday
Is this just a manic state or can I stay this uplifted if I keep going to the gym? I really love going. I know I can stick with it. Maybe I'm always searching for something to be wrong w me when the only problem I really have is low self esteem. I'll work on it. My problem w food can be resolved if I eat clean