“ you left and— i thought you weren’t coming back. ” sawyer for kane (early in their timeline i think)
there's guilt. and to be completely fair kane had a totally acceptable reason to have just run off and get lost for a while. brown eyes stare and there is this moment where sawyer's words settle. he doesn't know how to even begin explaining. hey sorry i left and said nothing, i just got bit by an abnormally large dog and it's turned my life to shit. the first instinct is to close himself off. he sighs and bites his lip. wouldn't it be nice to just tell sawyer that he was coming back, that he always thought about coming back and leaving him behind wasn't an option. fuck everything. that's a lie. one that he couldn't keep up with if he went with it. sorry. he signs, tries to find the words. the right ones and it's all so utterly fucked. when did it get hard to tell sawyer things? i'm here now. and i can explain. let's out a breath. the last thing kane wants to do is drag him down with him. he cares. keeps his circle small but he cares about sawyer. more than he could ever hope to put down into paper, into reality. just promise me you won't be mad. and isn't that a tall order to ask out of him. probably. but it's what kane needs right now, reassurance. safety or some bullshit he's never properly had. it's going to seem like i'm making shit up but i'm not, i promise. kane chuckles nervously then. hands feel sweaty, meets sawyer's eyes then. there's something like hope beneath the stare he's giving him.
@drunivers
