Jun 12, 2025
"Why do horses have low divorce rates? They have stable relationships."
"I love that for them."
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"Why do horses have low divorce rates? They have stable relationships."
"I love that for them."
"What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weak days."
"I never thought I would see the day when puns are working against me."
Fuck these are good. Keep em coming. I love me some puns.
"My foot."
fuck
"What has five toes but isn't your foot? I'll give you a minute."
Why are you doing this to me?
What have a i done to you?
toes
toes
does a minute have toes?
What's going on?
shit
"What's faster, hot or cold? Hot, you can catch a cold."
"I had to read that like six times because my brain didn't register those words as words. But no, no, once my brain caught up, that was brilliant. I'm using that!"
Beer + most humorous awkward situation you've found Barton in.
Send 🍺+ a question and my muse will answer drunk! Bonus: For every question received, my muse will also get increasingly drunk.
"Awkward for him or awkward for me? Well, in the moment it wasn't all that funny but looking back..."
"I was meeting my ex girlfriend's father for the first time and Barton walked out of my shower in nothing but a towel telling me my shampoo smelled fruity."
🍺+ what's the craziest thing you've seen since working at SHIELD?
Send 🍺+ a question and my muse will answer drunk! Bonus: For every question received, my muse will also get increasingly drunk.
"Nick Fury got greyfaced into a cat once. And then I had sexual relations with a witch to get an antidote. Working for SHIELD is so goddamn weird."
🍺 cutest agent kid besides your own kids.
Send 🍺+ a question and my muse will answer drunk! Bonus: For every question received, my muse will also get increasingly drunk.
"Well, I gotta shout out my godchildren. Come on."
"Alya and Eilis. You're the cutest agent kids. Closely followed by all the other agent kids because, fuck y'all, kids are so cute."
Oh no. His accent was slipping through a bit. He actually said YALL.