For What It's Worth | Suffering Game Reaction | Starling
Starling had voted 'trust' all the way down over the course of this motive. Either the people they were matched with were people that they liked, or well... trusting people was the right thing to do, even if they were strangers. They couldn't betray anyone, any more than they could tell lies or cheat. It just wasn't something they could allow themselves to do.
(Operative Starling was a rotten person. They'd known that from a young age. But at least they made up for it well enough.)
But... at the same time, there had to be a loser in all of this. That had been in the back of Starling's mind from the motive's inception. Not everyone was as willing to trust as he was. Someone would have to well, suffer at the end of this, and there was no real way around it.
Starling already felt a bit ill as they rode the elevator to the wheel room. That they had scored reasonably well during this motive, all things considered, barely registered with them. They were too busy focusing on what might happen to Dorian.
Nothing they could do, they reminded themselves, as they watched Dorian spin the wheel. Nothing they could do, they told themselves, as the wheel came up on white. Nothing-
(-it still should have been you, that part of their brain insisted, as if Starling, rotten coward that they were, was actually going to volunteer-)
-no, nothing at all, that could be done to save Dorian. All Starling could do was watch him die. And this time they did watch until the end. It was the only thing they could do, even if it made them absolutely sick to their stomach. Even if it took everything in their power to keep watching, right up until the end.
As if that was good enough.
Starling slunk off silently once Onryo dismissed everyone. They went straight to their room, sat on their bed, and buried their face in their hands. They remained there for a long time.