Dr. Henry Miller is a frog.
Remember a long time ago in a faraway land when I made a low quality theory that claimed Henry was in fact a frog?
I’m not sorry. In fact, fuck you, fuck your mom, fuck your long lost twin hidden in the attic who creepily plays piano when the house is quiet and wears a mask of Merida from Brave to hide their deformed face.
I fucking stand by it.
Henry is a frog, we know this much by now. His hue is one frogs can have and he seems to lack features like ears and a nose. Rather frog behaviour if you ask me.
But now I ask YOU… do his teeth look real? No right, far too big they basically hold the poor guy’s mouth open by force implying need for severe dental intervention. I believe these teeth not to be real teeth at all but simply cartoonishly large dentures he got from a joke shop. We know he’d attend such a place because while he is characterized rather serious he was known for blowing up urinals causing Freddy’s bathrooms to have cams and of course just loving to laugh at all things especially dying people. He seems to have a rather good sense of humour!
So no ears, no nose, no teeth, probably no butthole ei- yeah you know what doesn’t have these things? A fuckin frog. Now I ask you does he not appear moist? He looks grimy, sticky even. Frog.
Now my last theory argues this was normal HOWEVER I have since come to believe that Henry is in fact not natural… to our world. No I’m not calling another DSAF character an alien bare with me.
See if this was normal it would change a lot. We’d see frog people. We’d see noticeable change to history as frog people grow around humanity, new inventions, fuck, new frog racism. I’m not even kidding here if frog people existed I am sure humans would be racist towards them we can’t handle people having a different dominant hand than us for fucks sake humans kinda just suck like that. There would be frog politics. Frog moistening rooms. And most of all Henry would feel no need to disguise himself with something as silly as fake teeth.
No our frog man came from another world entirely. But but but let’s be clear it’s not like with Dave who seems to have just come out of nowhere Henry interacted with people, he understands his inhumanity and actively hides it almost as if he was taught how. He has knowledge of reality far greater than that which is normal as if… otherworldly.
My dear poor stupid reader, Henry can only come from one place and once place only.
Amphibia.
Even more than that Henry is a pink frog with a sense of humour and the knowledge of how to disguise himself as human. Friends, comrades, giant enemy spiders, Henry is Sprig.
A Sprig from a tragic world where Anne never comes back from death who leaves his home and family behind in order to try to get Anne back after Hop Pop becomes an alcoholic to deal with the grief. He finds himself transported into the human world but… in the past, forced to bide his time and search for a cure to the big dead getting both medical and spiritual knowledge, taking part in the war where he looses his tongue and hat via arrow to the knee. He tattoos his eyes black and takes Dave to start Fredbear after the circus proves useless and the rest is history.
Henry is Sprig from Amphibia it all lines up it all makes sense who else would be able to create such war crimes but a guy with a slingshot, a slingshot being the earliest signs in a child of psychotic tendencies. “Sprig has hair” you say? He lost it in the war and due to stress. “This is stupid” you say, I say any other answer is madness. “The frogs in Amphibia have teeth and in proving they are fake you prove-“ FAKE. TEETH. The government is lying to you to hide this great truth.
Henry Miller is Sprig, this is fact. It had been in front of us all along we were just too blind to see it.
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BAIIIIIIIIII