I haven't drawn anything properly for six months, or even more. The last six months have been absolute hell.
This is an illustration for my fic, which I'm finishing right now. It's already got almost 20k words and almost 100 pages, idk what I'm doing. ((I know. I'm writing what I've wanted for so many years. It's just about love.))
Free translation of a piece of text with a translator, because I'm out of brain at the moment:
He growled something unintelligible, trying not to swear too much.
"If I had known, I would have broke his face!.. No, really?! And he... And when you... And when... I'm so angry!"
Kagami turned to him. Kuroko hugged his knees, as if he was frozen, and stared into the distance, resting his chin on his crossed arms. It was uncomfortable. All wrong.
"What? What is it?"
It was difficult to remove irritation from his voice. Kagami, of course, knew that his friend on the court was an asshole, but that much?!
"Kagami-kun. It was a long time ago."
"But you're still in pain!" Kagami exclaimed. "I can see that!
Kuroko paused. Kagami felt that something was wrong, but he didn't fully understand what he should ask to make it easier.
Really, didn't he? Being in a conversation with a straightforward person who demands honesty from everyone, seriously? Kagami felt like a complete fool. The barriers that he had set up for himself had to be knocked down. No one was holding them on the other side.
"Kuroko." Kagami called carefully. "You're still thinking about him, aren't you?"
"Don't get me wrong. This is the past. It may be unpleasant, but it is already very far away. But I really loved Aomine-kun, very much. He was just the first one who wanted to understand me. He didn't blame me for our differences, but completely accepted them for what they were. He gave me real basketball.
<...>
The scars that didn't heal deep to the heart, masked by a false sense of security due to the time and distance that separated them. That feeling couldn't be a solid wall when their gazes collided on the court, right? The two of them didn't seem to have decided anything. And there was only a restless, sick attachment that both had nowhere else to put.
<...>
"...sometimes I really blame myself for the way he pulled away from the team. Perhaps he didn't understand what was going on, and it confused and depressed him even more and could speed up the countdown."
"Listen," Kagami scratched his head, "You shouldn't blame yourself."
Kuroko shuddered and turned around.
"You're the one with the delicate soul," Kagami said, shrugging his shoulders, "as far as I can tell, Aomine is a complete log. He worries too, of course. But he doesn't go as deep as you, he doesn't look for reasons and prerequisites. For him, it's just… Perhaps other things are important? He did something, it was answered - okay, didn't get an answer — well, the idiots are around. He looks like a man who doesn't look for reasons why something might go wrong. Even if you weren't around, he would have become what he became anyway, because he played basketball all his life. And sooner or later, he would have hit the same ceiling anyway. It seems like you were just lucky to get to know him the way he was. I'm sure if you had asked him if he loved you, he would have freezed for a month. If he felt something for you, he'll realize it ten years later, when, uh..."
"When will he start reflecting?" Kuroko prompted.
"I didn't mean to say exactly that, but you understood me correctly."
Kagami was embarassed. He liked his wording a little more, but now he didn't want to continue when his nonsense was expressed in clever words.
"What did you want to say?"
Damn perceptive Kuroko.
"... when he takes his head out of his ass", he muttered.
