#dspoetry

[daesmith]

Players Perspective

How could you have known my term of endearment would then project you into a lesson of what true fear meant? For after me, you feared to love again. But yet tonight you've pondered and reminisced on my past, false love; once again. It had seemed so organic, though artificial to the fullest extent. My improvised, manipulative planning; to you, it all made sense. I endeavored towards grasping your infatuation through lies and deceit- Only to grind your heart in the teeth of mistreat. My lust for your pink matter was the only that held matter. You would see yourself if in the mirror, then depict me accompanying right after. Ironic how that is what caused your mirror to shatter. My games disfigured your vision, and acceptance of self As I disregarded your pleads ;failed to fathom the action of help. At the end, we both know the aftermath of this game was far from what is fair. But in a players perspective; I see no true love in the air.

[daesmith]

Family

Hello my dear family. Sorry for growing up on you, I know the growth has at times made you proud over the years but loosening grip on my past adolescent moments must provoke tears. October tenth, nineteen ninety seven. My wellbeing was placed in the arms and vigilance of the most worthy caregivers and for that, I owe you. I'm leaving the nest in pursuit of an open but dangerous world. I will be fine; refrain from allowing overzealous emotions to control you. Hello my dear family. In the midst of over-compelling distance, we still remained close. Intensity of love on a Gods level; We forever resided on Mount Olympus But even when difference provoked hostility, our stature of unity never began to erode. Hello my dear family. I shall love and cherish you all, for eternity,

[daesmith]

Conflicted

Conflicted. You’ve always been at times, conflicted.

Even in the midst of admirable actions-

you dissected your own achievements and provoked a presence of madness.

A revoking of self-awareness disguised as traction caused you to slip into a pool of overzealous emotions.

Those emotions intertwined with a state of confusion disabled comprehension of your own notions.

Conflicted. You’ve always been at times, conflicted.

[daesmith]

Soliloquy/Letter For my mother.

I recall you answering every silent plead for help, and every text that

 epitomized confusion, revolving around an abundance of self questioning I 

failed to find the answers for. 

Though I denied the possession, you pointed out an ego that catapulted me 

deeper into that same denial. 

You penetrated that  facade with your nurturing ways, and I must say the 

effortless potency left me at times in a daze. 

Every now & then I tend to question why in many ways i am  so great; sorry for 

the slightly overzealous confidence.

Then a sense of assurance resides when I remember that I am a reflection of 

you. There is an absence of doubt when i contemplate why my aura 

illuminates, its all because of you. 

I simply fail to fathom a way to repay for what you have given me. 

An appropriate level of reciprocation biased in endearment for you will never 

be reached. 

Monika Smith, to say I love you is an understatement.

[daesmith]

.HER.

Her.                                                                                                  

A retraction of my unhappiness on a gloomy day                          

She revokes the process of unclear thought when my minds a

daze The nutrient I need when my hunger fiends, for acceptance              

Her.                                                                                              

A blessing, in the form of guide when my motivation sways      

She is the oasis in my desert, when left a stray in thirst for days

The crutch I need when I'm socially crippled in acceptance

Her.

An exemplification for what Love is                                          

She epitomizes it through compassion & care.                            

She is what I believe "above" depicts                                            

The Heaven I dream to see, when my soul withers and leaves.             

Her.                                                                                                  

A drug that medicates my ignorance, when i spew belligerents.    

She liberates my self control when my actions are redundant.      

The one soul that can console, control me, when in rage or grief.

[daesmith]

S i l e n c e

Silence, something so simple                                                             But yet so blissful                                                                             Something so usual                                                                           But yet holds such an unusual extra-ordinance                                     The importance it holds when on my own                                                 I am not lonely, though I am alone                                                     Just the mere thought of it consoles my soul                                            

The paradox it is, bringing so much because it lacks                             I own abundant hearing, though the minimal sound                               Just my thoughts that are loud                                                         Usually hindered in evidence by the worlds harsh sounds    

Silence, something so full                                                                   But yet so empty                                                                               Something so good                                                                           But yet at times, so cruel                                                                   The frustration it holds when on my own                                                 I am overwhelmed by entities, though I am alone                                     Just the thought of fact; I am misunderstood; it kills my soul        

The pain that it is, bringing not much; because in it, I'm abundant               I own a lack of expression, though my thoughts are so loud                     Just my mouth that is silent -                                                               Forever hindered in evidence                                                                 by what reiterates from others mouths; harsh sounds

[daesmith]

Faith lost/Despair Found

Silent whimpers exemplify bitter sadness while her body lies lifeless

Her womb now cursed by death.                                                                   The seed born into an eternal rest.

The man, crying in confusion.

Was this tragedy for lessons to be left?                                                       Sobs exude treacherous screams that drowns bliss, into evanesce.

What reiterates in their thoughts

The sonogram of a gift that was never born                                          Content partners, are now forlorn.                

a bond now torn.                        

[daesmith]

"If"

What if I don't make it?

What if I don't reach or exceed expectations?

What If I don't get my act together?

What If I never amount to anything good?

Regardless of how you live your life, one of the scariest things are those "If" thoughts that rummage through your head as time goes by and life goes on. I understand that perception is everything. I understand that how you look at things, effect your life. I understand that your beliefs eventually become reality.

But here is reality, I'm not trying to be negative, and kill dreams. Just like  success is a possibility. Failure is also a possibility. And who wants to fail? Thats such a frightening thought.