ooc; Time Can Be Re-Written
This is one of the hardest messages I've had to write with you guys. I've talked to all of you about almost everything: I've sent a few of you messages about personal feelings about loss, and I'm pretty sure some of you probably know me as well if not better than a lot of people I know in real life. So, needless to say, this is a really, really hard thing to write.
I'm going to be leaving NAHPRP, for good this time. I've been with you all since October, and it was wonderful. This was the first time I played Rose on a tumblr RP. I'd played her before on other websites, but this one was a big thing for me, because I was always nervous about joining the "next gen" RPers on Tumblr. You were all so inviting, you made it easy to be here, and I loved that.
Since, I've joined as a number of characters. Some of you may not even have been here when I played Charlie or Adelle, and some of you may remember Genevieve? She was my Karen Gillan FC here. I play Dan and I just joined as Marlene. I was hoping Marlene would give me some inspiration to stay here, but I can't.
I'm sorry to say it's been this way for about three months, now.
I RP for two reasons.
To make friends and meet people from around the world - both of which I got to do here! This was really, really special to me. I never shut up about how I regularly talk to a friend from New Zealand and three friends from Egypt at school. Almost my entire class knows that you guys exist.
To practice my writing. I've been RPing since eighth grade for this reason - I've always strived to improve my writing, and RPing always seemed to be a good way to do that. It's taken me a long way - just not too long ago I looked at the very first time I posted something in my first role play (Sweeney Todd!), and it was horrendous. I went through Rose's blog and was pleased to find that my writing became a thousand times better, and I have roleplaying to thank for that.
The first reason has kept me here. You guys have been those wonderful friends, and I love you all for it. But the second reason is why I'm resigning.
Don't get me wrong - you all are wonderful, wonderful people, and I love all your characters to bits, but it's becoming a bit of a chore for me. I'm sorry, but I just don't do one-liners. Action tags are not how I'm going to improve my writing, nor are head cannons.
It's not that I don't love you guys, or that I never loved this RP - but logging on and not getting anything productive from it is making me stressed, and it almost started to seem like a chore. Something most of you (except perhaps Manno, she knows how I am about paras...) don't know about me is that I'm slightly OCD. I need to be doing something productive, and I need to be getting something out of it academically or emotionally or physically that can help me. I'm not really getting that here. I'm spending a lot of time doing... nothing, really. Rose says "hi" to a couple characters. Dan's been talking to Effie. But that's it.
I just don't feel like I used to here, and I'm sorry for that. I really think it's time for me to move on and write again, something I haven't been doing because I've been focusing on characters that have been turning flat.
I keep getting nervous wondering who's going to take my place as Rose, who's going to be posting rather than me on the dash, and that's just a weird thought. But, whoever it is, I'm sure he or she will love it here, and he or she will love you. I'm sure they'll be perfect, and they'll fit in a little better here.
I don't go on my personal often anymore, but if you ever want to talk to me, send me a message:
http://nottoday-harry.tumblr.com
On that note, I probably won't be deleting Rose's account. I don't think I'll have the heart to. I usually like to go through and reminisce on old role plays, and I put a lot of effort into developing Rose as best I could - which is one of the reasons I'm dropping her. I don't want to ruin what I've built with her character. I'll probably log on every now and again, and lurk on the dash. Feel free to send me a message whenever. I will never forget you guys. This RP has been going for nearly a year now - and I hope it will keep going for another.
I've queued some posts on the scrapbook, so even when I'm gone you'll be seeing some from there.
I hope you all can forgive me.
Love, from,
Patsy