#dwarf beards

[love-and-hex]

Love and Hex #49: Feminine Mystique

The Discworld has inspired a lot of my worldbuilding.

[maybelacrimosa]

Where is the epic sideburns I was promised amazon? If there was no beard, I thought you were at least gonna give the dwarf women some visible facial hair. Disa deserved more visible facial hair, she is a queen. Justice for Disa.

[sharkangelic]

I’m going to rate the dwarves’ beards because apparently I’ve been roasting them ever since I saw the hobbit movies a few days ago. This has probably been done before.

Nori Not too short, and has style, but not enough style to make up for the fact that he is not memorable enough for me to identify him by his beard. 5/10 

Ori Very short beard, he may as well be a short Man. But at least it has some volume. 4/10

Dori Exact same as Ori but without volume. Next. 3/10

Fili Short but stylish with a lot of elements filling out the area. Has an impressive head of hair to go with it. Matching your hair with your beard is very important and he knows it. Could be longer. 7/10 Kili The least beard here but his heart is noble that it makes up for some of it(this is only true for the movies). Points taken away for hearing the explanation “his beard had to be short so fans would believe Tauriel liked him.” Fuck that, if Gigolas can be a power couple then this sentiment has no place in this fucking fandom. 5/10 

Oin This guy gets what a real dwarf beard should be. He knows what’s going on and he knows who he is.  9/10

Gloin Obviously great beards run in the family. Now this is a fantastic beard, a beard worthy of calling itself Gimli’s relative. I looked at a pic of these dwarves together before seeing the movie and immediately picked "Gimli’s dad” out, it’s that good. 10/10 Bombur What it lacks in immediate voluminosity it makes up for in incredible risque style. He took a chance and it paid off. 7/10

Bofur He is trying to distract from his short beard with his admittedly stylish hat.  4/10 Bifur A good full beard with some good hair to go with it. Lacks imagination and style.  7/10 Balin A great example of a full, aged beard. Simplistic style for a wise dwarf. Can be recognized by his beard. 8/10

Dwalin A mid-length beard with plenty of style. Can recognize him by his beard. Points taken due to balding, having less balance than his clearly older relative. 7/10

Thorin

...  This dwarf has the AUDACITY to call himself King Under The Mountain? He calls himself a descendent of Durin? With a beard like that??? Disgraceful. There are literally elves out there with better beards, and he should be ashamed.  -1000/10

[femmefaramir]

submitted by @knitordeath

So you like Dwarves?

Then this quickie of my favorite Beard-a-licious Bae™ is for you

i’m. eternaly grateful. in a world without legolas (a sad one if you ask me) this is my husband...

[shantismurf]

The 15 greatest movie beards of all time

The greatest movie beards of all time

Yeah, you WISH your beard was this good.

Nice to see Oin and Gloin getting a shoutout for the fantastic beards they had, but what about Dori?! And Bombur!?!? You can't praise one beard without praising them all. That's one thing they definitely got right!

[larathia]

This here is my brother.

This is his first “Braided beard with bead” look. (Note wolf bead down there at the bottom.)

Brother would like more beard beads.  Plz send recs, or reblog with recs. (With pics would be awesome.) I am absolutely down for turning my brother into the much more braided version of Carrot Ironfoundersson.

[we-are-a-dragon]

NPC: (having just de-possessed Morgran) How do you feel?

Morgran (dwarf wizard): Um...

Milo (halfling bard): How do you feel about your beard?

Morgran: (defensively) What about my beard? It’s an amazing beard! Why, did something happen to it?

[mezzmerizedbyrichard]

“In the film, the women of the race of dwarves have beards.  Would you kiss a dwarf bearded? [x] (Google translation)

I love Richard’s cheeky response!