#dwuethvars

[widaugast]

INBOX CLEARING  ---  ! @dwuethvars​ cast message:  [ share ] for our muses to share something for survival (food, water, body warmth, clothing etc)

        It takes a moment for Caleb to realize the gesture that's being offered  ---  a simple thing, really, were it not for the fact that they cannot risk making a fire in the chill night, and he's run out of spells after a day's combat to adequately make much more than an Alarm around them.  It's a surprise, really  ---  given some tense moments already, the memory of a curved blade of a falchion held up to his throat, pressing there with an unexpected urgency, that Fjord would offer part of his blanket over in Caleb's direction is...  almost equally unexpected, though more of the pleasant variety.

        Bunched well into his coat, and trying to  ---  for now  ---  keep Nott warm with Frumpkin curled into the crook of her small knees, Caleb quietly adjusts in the autumn night, curling close to huddle under part of the offered warmth.

[widaugast]

STARTERS FOR QUIET MUSES  ---  no longer accepting! @dwuethvars​ cast message:  “ we can just sit here, you don’t have to talk. ”

        At Fjord's words, so simple and yet so necessary, Caleb's eyes close, squeezing shut with a breath that rattles unsteadily from his chest, and a not-quite-released tension in his shoulders that half-shudder.  The day in Felderwin had been poised to be long enough, surprised as they all were by Nott Veth's tale, the change in her appearance to who she once was, who she remains underneatH.  Nevertheless, they had walked directly  ---  all but unwittingly  ---  into a pit of old memories for Caleb as well, a woman from an Academy portrait come to life in the ruins of Veth's old life, a shuddering admission of  (part of)  who he once was himself coming not too long afterwards.  If he were anywhere but his own head, more within his body, Caleb would be dimly aware of the taste of bile still at the back of his throat, threatening to rise again were he to see the connections between his past and this ransacking, between those who terrorize and who he had been, in terror.

        So yes, he is thankful for Fjord's words, but at the same time feels he does not deserve them, does not deserve such...  consideration, what he would call kindness if he believed that such was possible to give to him right now.  It's not.  It's not.

        A low, halting breath.  Your people did this to my people.

[widaugast]

STARTERS FOR QUIET MUSES  ---  no longer accepting! @dwuethvars​ cast message:  “ you can trust me. ”

        The worlds fall...  hard, difficult to swallow after all they have just been through.  Though the group has been together but a short time, Caleb thinks he can detect the ache that runs between all of them  ---  the ache of absence, of mourning, and it is hard not to bite back his urge, ever-present now as it once had been and maybe even more now, to flee.  The Mighty Nein have brought him plenty of adventure so far, yes, they have given themselves a name, but they...  could they ever know who they travelled with, fully?  Would Fjord say what he does now, all too earnestly for having been kidnapped under their noses in the middle of the night, knowing that Caleb's past has been burned in fire, any previous family and connections have gone up in smoke in more ways than one?

        The taste in Caleb's mouth is sour and old, something almost like bile rising in the back of his throat as his hands twist together, over one another, and snake up his arms to dig there.  Though his nails cannot rake against his skin through his coat, they make the right motions, struggling through dirty bandages and contorting against themselves this way and that as Caleb's eyes flicker to the dirty ground, deeply uncomfortable.

        ❝ I...  I, ah  --- ❞  a break of nervous laughter, almost, half-swallowed and tired.  ❝ That is a pretty large thing to pass after everything, Fjord. ❞

[archived-hellesfeuer]

*    @dwuethvars​​    —    DON’T  TRY  TO  MAKE  A  STRONGER  WIND,  YOU’LL  WEAR  YOURSELF  OUT.  BUILD  A  BETTER  SAIL. 

PERHAPS   IT   IS   SOMETHING   THAT   CANNOT   BE   HELPED   ONCE   ONE   JOINS   WITH   THE   WILDMOTHER.         speaking   in   metaphors   and   riddles,   all   for   the   sake   of   soothing   companions   .   .   .      fjord   has   been   spending   quite   a   lot   of   time   with   caduceus.            “      i   am   not   a   sailor,   captain,      ”            caleb   replies.            “      i   take   your   meaning      —      i   do.      but,   ah   .   .   .      it   is   not   for   me.      ”            he   is   already   on   his   last   sail.      there   is   nothing   left   to   build   another.   

[atlasburdenedarchive]

@dwuethvars​ said : “ i can tell something’s bothering you.  ” / veth!

it takes everything in her not to roll her eyes , an immediate response to fjord most of the time but she doesn’t . she doesn’t because of anyone , he might actually know what’s bothering her the most , the day of her death coming up , her son’s fresh in her mind . which bothers her more . except she doesn’t want him to know that , despite his similar … experience . & she doesn’t want to talk about it . with anyone . not with him , not with caleb , not with jester . not with anyone . she wants to sit in it , like she deserves to .   ❝   yeah ?   ❞   she asks casually with a smile that she knows he knows isn’t a real smile .  ❝   he’s tall & green & kind of weak but he’s got one hell of a smile … did you need something ?   ❞

[atlasburdenedarchive]

@dwuethvars​ said : lavender :   how easy is it to gain your muse’s trust ?  once their trust is broken ,   how might one go about mending it ?   / Veth!

it’s not easy at all to gain her trust but once you have it , you have it . a lot of people proved that they didn’t deserve her trust or broke it easily when she was young . mostly by her brothers & her peers so , it takes a lot to prove that she should even invest her time or feelings for someone . jester & caleb being the exceptions . fjord & yasha being perfect examples . once her trust is broken , it takes a lot to show her that it even can be mended & she goes from there .

[widaugast]

❛   if it gets too bad , give me a signal  ❜  

SHADOW AND BONE  ---  no longer accepting!

        The nod of assent is instinctive, brief but trusting.  If there is one thing that Fjord has ever been, even since his time now seemingly long ago as the captain of more than one of their seabound voyages, it seems to Caleb that it is ever the one behind all of their backs, sometimes asking before taking a risk for all of them, but never always for himself.  A considerateness, even in times of crisis when not all of them can be trusted  ---  and Caleb himself knows this, knows it as deeply as he knows the ache of fire in his belly  ---  is something to be valued, and he holds onto it tight as an anchor as they step into a plan that none of them are sure will even last.

        ❝ As long as I am none too far away, I will message if such is available to me.  If not, ❞  a glance at the companion at his side, as she ever is, Veth readying her crossbow and proudly snapping Beauregards' night-vision goggles over her eyes with a grin.  ❝ We will find a way to let you know that things have gone...  ah, tits up. ❞

[atlasburdenedarchive]

@dwuethvars​ said : ❛   you know i’d be lost without you  ❜ / for jester

❝   i don’t know about lost .   ❞    her cheeks turn an even darker shade of purple in the light of the sunset on the deck of the ball-eater & she hopes he doesn’t notice . the echo of the promise she made to do whatever it takes to get him away from uk’otoa ( uk’otoa ) still in her mind as they make their way to the peace talks . she’s so happy that the wildmother had taken him in , despite her really hard push for him to follow the traveller ( thank goodness he’d said no , she wouldn’t have wanted him to follow the traveller only to be one of the people the traveller dropped ) . she hadn’t done much , in the end . caduceus had introduced him to the wildmother & helped him get his sword & ultimately , you know , helped him get to his destiny or whatever in his seaweed muscle pod . she’s happy to know that he still wants her in his life , despite her failing to get him away from uk’otoa ( uk’otoa ) . she’s never been without him on this journey & honestly , she doesn’t want to know what that would even look like . she smiles up at him , the peace talks & travellercon & the future on the horizon & she thanks the traveller for the billionth time for bringing him to her .   ❝   fjord , i’m very very lucky to have you in my life . i hope you know that .   ❞