Punishment
I messed up today, again. I've been doing that alot lately. Daddy and I have had a hard time getting on the same page lately and while its for very good reasons, it is not any less frustrating. Rules and expectations have gotten cloudy and while we are both doing our best to stay above water its understandable that things have gotten lost and left behind.
While we are figuring out what is next we have pulled back to 3 basic rules, i send Daddy pictures of my outfits for daily approval, i ask for sodas and I send pictures at bed time. When you write it out it seems so simple but I have been struggling to remember.
Today on my way to lunch I called Daddy to chat and he stayed on the phone with me while I ordered and went back to work. About an hour later I realized I hadn't asked permission for the coke I was sipping on. I texted Daddy right away apologizing but I felt awful and couldn't shake it. Daddy said he understood and he should have said something while we were on the phone and that we were both at fault and I didn't deserve punishment. He could tell I still wasn't okay so he called me to talk about it. While we were on the phone I started crying. This dynamic we have built means more to me then I ever imagined it could and with so few opportunities to engage in it I was devastated I had missed my chance and disappointed him.
While we talked Daddy explained that under normal circumstances neglecting to ask permission would absolutely warrant punishment but based on the situation around our current structure, the abnormality of the routine and the fact he didnt nip it in the butt when he had the chance he didn't feel punishment was warranted. That being said we have had many conversations in the past about how punishment reinforces our roles and shows me that he takes this seriously and that he cares as much as i do and that by choosing not to punish me in this instance did not mean he didn't care.
Here is the thing about a true D/s relationship, at its core its about care, caring for your partner and looking out for their wellbeing in all senses. At that moment, if Daddy had chosen to punish me he would have been well within his rights of our agreed upon power exchange. He chose not to because he recognized that there were unusual circumstances that effected my ability to follow the rules and that had he inflicted punishement it would have caused far more emotional and mental damage to me in that state. By explaining his reasons for choosing not to he reinforced hes care, our connection and our roles. Being a Dominant is more then punishing your submissive when the step out of line, its listening and paying attention and doing all of these things for their ultimate betterment.
We are not perfect, and the future is uncertain but the one thing that I never question is his love and devotion to me. I know that no matter what he will always protect and guide me.
