#dys.rambling

[liminal-pr0xy]

I have a lil treat for Tempink, Paledream, and Glue fans tomorrow

Specifically @dreemurr-skelememer

If i forget to post it before midnight EST, someone dm me.

are you excited?

Tempink

Paledream

Glue

Glue?

these aren't answers

Voting ended onJun 26, 2023

[liminal-pr0xy]

So I've been thinking

In the next few months, I'm gonna be 19 and after a fun guessing game I had with someone recently (which made me v happy when they guessed correctly), I made some realizations.

If you were to go along the path of how I grew up starting from when I was too small to walk to now, there's a chance you could think that it's two very different people.

When I was small, I wanted to be just like my momma. I wanted to help people who needed a little extra help. She was a special ed aid on a bus, knows ASL fluently, and is a one-on-one aid now. I wanted to do what she wanted to do and she was my hero.

When I got into school, I wanted to be like my dad. I wanted to help people learn things and get to the next level easier. He had just graduated college and teaches middle schoolers math and robotics. He was my picture definition of what awesome was and I wanted to be like that too.

Now that I'm almost the age my dad was when my parents got married, his side of the family is obviously getting.. antsy, you could say. The joys of being the first granddaughter, my cousin is the first grandchild and he's five months older than me.

So with all that pilling on and me leaving home for school, like my grandpa (dad's dad) had when he found his wife (grandma is the coolest), they're expecting me to come home (in August if everything goes right) with a boy...friend.

I hope they don't expect one of me too long. The joys of being a closeted asexual, and kinda gay but that's a different problem.

But now I'm free of my parents' opinions hovering over my head 24/7 and I have to learn... everything. How to make my own decisions, how to be responsible, how to do all these adult things that I could only watch from a limited third person view because I wasn't allowed to help in my younger teen years. It's a lot harder than it should be I think.

And yet

Here I am

My hair is short, I'm having fun in college, I've got friends I can count on, I can have moments of calm, my anxiety isn't as bad anymore, I'm a little less self-conscious, I can smile more genuinely, I can laugh more, I sing along with the songs even if my voice is too high.

Life got better. I'm enjoying a future I didn't think I'd have. By societal standards, my childhood is over but I think I can finally start making up for lost time.

I'm just rambling now but... I don't know. I wanted to let it out and I figured my 8 followers were important enough to hear all this shit.

My Dms are always open and apparently life can get better.

Stay safe and ilu

❤️🧡💛💚🤍🖤❤️🧡💛💚🤍🖤❤️🧡💛💚🤍🖤