#dysfunctionallove

[curlyqueenles-blog]

Si es cruel, no es amor, es chistoso pero no es amor. #valentinesday #loveissues #dysfunctionallove #loveyourself

[slyredpanda]

Dysfunctional Love: Wascot

Originally published February 26, 2013 for Gaming Irresponsibly

February is the month of love and while the time for chocolates, flowers and romantic dinners has passed, our coverage of certain colorful characters continues.  This week we take a look at Wascot from Super Monday Night combat.  Whether or not you had a good Valentines weekend, you’ll be thankful you didn’t run into someone like this fellow!

Wascot, while not very well known, is definitely one of the weirdest, most awkward characters in videogames.  He stars in Super Monday Night Combat, a free to play multiplayer online battle arena that’s very trigger happy.   Unlike other MOBA’s, SMNC is all about real time movement, fast paced combat and lots of bullets and guns. It’s fun and exhilarating and certainly not your average MOBA.   Wascot belongs to the Commando Class, which are the glass cannons of the game.  This class, unlike any other class in the game, specializes in melee attacks as well as fast movement.  Because of this Wascot is your worst nightmare, his is skillful, deadly and will troll you at every chance he gets.

Wascot does not have one dysfunctional factor he has many.  From the outfit that he wears in the battle arena to the weapons he uses, he is dysfunction from head to toe.  Wascot wears a uniform to battle that resembles Bullseye, the title’s mascot.  However he seems to have modified it with a variety of “accessories.”  He switched Bullseye’s traditional yellow for the color orange and equipped himself with some biker-like gear.  He has a black helmet, gloves, shoulder pads and boots.  He seems to be wearing some sort of leather harness as well as a pair of fishnets.  Yes, you read that right… fishnets.  He also carries a teddy bear in his back.

His weapons are quite “unconventional” as well.  His primary weapon is a coin launcher, which disperses fake coins throughout the battlefield.  When an opponent tries to pick up the coins, they explode.  His secondary weapon is what he calls the -ahem-“Heart Breaker.”  Such weapon resembles a leather paddle with the shape of a heart at the very edge.  He uses the heart breaker to smack you around and as if that wasn’t enough, when he grapples you he will bend you over his knee and spank you with this weapon.  If you ever wanted to “troll and pwn” somebody, Wascot is your guy.

Before he took the character of Wascot, his name was Frank Deeford and even then he had obsessive tendencies.  His obsession revolved around anything SMNC especially if it was related to their mascot Bullseye.  His heroes fell from the pedestal he had them in when, as a fan, he called the post-match show and Bullseye accidentally hung up on him.  Since then he went from being a spectator to an active participant in SMNC matches, taking on the persona of Wascot.  However he now stalks Bullseye out of revenge, not love.

So there you have him, Wascot, officially one of the most dysfunctional characters of all time.  He is the weird, creepy and obsessive lover you never want to have.   Next week we close off this section with our last dysfunctional character.  Until next time!

[slyredpanda]

Dysfunctional Love: Voldo

Originally published February 13, 2013 for Gaming Irresponsibly

Ah it is February and love is in the air.  It is time for chocolates, flowers and romantic dinners.  But nothing says it’s February like random tokens of dysfunctional appreciation from unbalanced individuals who feel left out of this faux-holiday.   So if you are single this Valentines day, Worry not!  Consider that it is better to be single, sane and happy than popular and pursued by some crazy suitor.  So, in this twisted spirit of valentines I present you Dysfunctional Love a weekly profile series that will run through February.  Each week we will highlight some of the more ‘colorful’ characters in games.  Enjoy!

This week we open with the well known Voldo from the Soul Calibur series.  Voldo holds a special place in my heart.  If there is one word that can describe Voldo, it’s Unconventional.  This spunky dude originates from the beloved Soul Calibur series; his first appearance took place in Soul Edge.  As a matter of fact, Voldo has appeared in every game of the Soul Calibur series to date!  He is a well-known character in the gaming community and considered a tough character to master among Soul Calibur fans.

His dysfunctional factor is his appearance.  He looks like kinky version of Edward scissor hands.  This is in part due to his signature weapon, a pair of katar, which resemble giant claws.  His signature look usually follows a Sadomasochistic motif, which tends to include a leather harness, a head trainer and fishnets.  In addition to this, he acts in a pseudo-animalistic way as his body bends and turns in ways not conventional for humans.  The stability of his  personality is questionable as his is obsessed with protecting the Money Pit, and honoring his dead master Vercci.

Most people would turn around and walk the other way should they encounter Voldo in a dark alley.  However, Voldo isn’t much of a terrible person.  His personal story revolves around a theme of loyalty and dedication.  Voldo has taken the task to protect his master’s property, the money pit.   In every iteration of Soul Calibur Voldo’s sanctuary has been ransacked or attacked in some way, which leads to his counter attack.  My favorite ending for Voldo is that of Soul Calibur IV in which he becomes the guardian of the Soul Calibur, keeping it from the hands of those who would use if for evil.

That is all for this week guys.  Next time we will take a quick look at another unbalanced yet unique individual from the video game world.  Since it will be the day after valentine’s day, I will profile one of my favorite dysfunctional characters!  I’ll give you a clue:  He loves to spank people and can be a real party pooper. Alright, that’s it I’m practically giving it away…  See you next week!