seen from United States
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Martin Houdini?
With the amount Martin gets in trouble, I feel it’s apt for her to have a middle name. Considering she managed to escape into the hall within a day of coming here, I’m thinking Martin Houdini.
Luckily, she only got about 20 ft down the hall before I got there and there was only one person in the hallway to caught sight of one punk enby screaming down the hall to scoop up a Siamese and nuzzle her while calling her a dick repeatedly.
It’s been a minute since I posted an update, so here it is: there were adventures for all after Martin stepped in paint.
So I use painting as a coping mechanism for PTSD, something I’ve sorta had to give up since Martin and I are living in a single room together rather than an apartment. My mental health has been bad enough recently that I started painting again. For the first part of it, Martin was just sleeping. However, after I gave up for the day I thought the palette was dry.
It super wasn’t and Martin came out of this with to blue paws 🐾. I immediately grabbed a tissue to get most of it off, but it still needed to be washed off. I swaddled her in my arms and basically sprinted to the communal bathroom(I don’t think she’s supposed to be out of my room).
There was, of course, someone in there and who didn’t see a problem in asking me a hundred question about the cat who was sinking her claws into my flesh.
I ended up taking a bowl with about .25 cm of water in it and trying to dip her paws. I’m typing this still covered in water, hair(hers), and blood(mine). I feel like I’ve been punished for not wanting her to eat paint.
10/25/20
Some pictures my S.O took before making the three hour drive to bring Martin down on 10/14/20. She recognized him and immediately laid down and fell asleep once he started driving. So glad to have both of them in my life❤️
Martin chilling in the sunshine after forcing me to get up this morning.
10/15/20
“You’re so lucky”... to have PTSD?
A friendly acquaintance in one of my classes learned about Martin’s existence today. There were the usual comments of “Oh, she’s so cute”(which she is) and “I’m so glad she can stay”, but she also said “you’re so lucky.” This really fucked me up because Martin isn’t a pet. I love her and would do anything for her, but the only reason I have her is because I have a host of crippling mental illnesses. So from a neurotypical who I know hasn’t had to deal with a lot of consequences for her actions, it felt like “you’re so lucky to have an excuse to bring your cat”. Within that, it also felt like “you’re so lucky to have these mental illnesses.” I know that this classmate had the best of intentions, but I have tried so hard to make sure everyone who knows about Martin, doesn’t think I just made excuses to have her here.
In the month and half I had to wait to bring her here, I didn’t sleep more than 4 hours each night, usually less. I had multiple panic attacks a day. Night terrors and flashbacks were commonplace. It’s been hell to move into a religious, transphobic dorm as a homeless, mentally ill, trans abuse survivor, not to mention doing so having all of your supports stripped away from you.
10/15/2020
Truly shite experience!
Album Review: E.S.A - Themes of Carnal Empowerment Pt. 3 - Penance
Album Review: E.S.A – Themes of Carnal Empowerment Pt. 3 – Penance
Rhythmic noise is an eldritch gem of the dark electronic music universe. It’s lullabies for people (like yours truly) who keep Masonna in their day to day playlists. To make rhythmic noise, you take one part harsh industrial and whisk in some dramatic orchestral drums. Then sprinkle in some pan flutes or whatever other new age-y bright accent instrument you have lying around, and distort and…
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E você era tudo. Tudo o que eu queria, tudo o que eu sonhava, tudo o que eu pensava, sentia. Tudo. Tudo era você. E pra você o que eu era? Nada. Apenas mais uma que passou pela sua vida. Mais uma sem nenhuma importância, sem nenhum sentimento. Uma que você nem lembra mais.. E eu continuo aqui. E você continua sendo tudo pra mim. E enquanto você nem lembra que um dia eu passei pela sua vida, eu não consigo te esquecer nem por um segundo.
E isso tudo tá acabando comigo. (Stephani Silveira)
