For the fic thing!! Rough & Reddie >:)
Hi East! You literally sent this months ago. You probably forgot about it, and also wanted something Fun. this is not that fic. mwah!
You shouldn’t touch other boys like that. They’ll know.
There was a point where Richie just… stopped. Stop hugging, grabbing, laughing and holding on. Stopped touching- everyone, really, but. Especially boys, especially the Losers. Especially the people that mattered, the ones he couldn’t bear to lose.
Especially- especially- Eddie.
That wasn’t entirely true, though, was it? He still touched- still touched Eddie, but never soft, never anywhere close to the way he wanted to. Instead of holding, he shoved- never with malice, never to hurt, but it wasn’t soft either.
Instead of hugging, he bumped. Instead of sharing space, hooking pinkies, leaning in and putting his head on a shoulder, he’d wrestle. Push, prod, pick at until Eddie would do it back, shove his foot in his face, push Richie off the path, wrestle him off the bed until they were both laughing, restless and wrapped up in one another. He could let himself have it, then Richie logiced, just for a moment. This was something that boys did, that friends did, and Eddie had started it, really, not him. None of the blame could come his way.
Still, there were times when he wished he could still tug and hold and hook and have, without feeling like he was stealing something, without feeling like he was sneaking in and taking something precious from a house he used to be invited to, a place he’d felt like could be his home, if only he wasn’t who he was.
He still reached for Eddie in his sleep, when he’d come over and they’d both squeeze into Richie’s bed. He’d wake up, and they’d be tangled together, and he couldn’t make himself pull away first.
He should’ve made himself sleep on the floor.
He never did. Eddie never asked him to.
It was okay, Richie figured. He’d never know.