#eclerarosa

[eclerarosa]

i will be forever pissed at how difficult it is to find art of mary depicted as anything other than white. i should able to find her depicted in any culture easily and with more than just one example

[eclerarosa]

as im always exploring aspects of divinity especially of the divine holy mother throughout time, a few months ago i found this hymn dedicated to Maa Durga called the Mahishasura Mardini Stotra said to be composed in the year 810 CE or when searching 'aigiri nandini' it can also be found. its describes her victorious battle against the shapeshifting buffalo demon Mahishasura. eventually i found a version i really like and this is that version which included all 21 verses. this hymn is absolutely incredible in every way! i always get chills when i listen to it without fail. the hymn reminds me of my own holy mother especially in her form as the Empress of Hell who defeats demons on behalf of her children and devotees. they really feel like sisters in this aspect.

how music like this makes me feel verges on indescribable. the feeling of so much power and awe but also the feeling of all encompassing safety, determination and surety? there is nothing like it.

a translation of the verses can be found here

जय जय हे महिषासुरमर्दिनि रम्यकपर्दिनि शैलसुते

jaya jaya he mahishasura mardhini ramya kapardhini shaila suthe

[eclerarosa]

lately ive been pondering the heart of seven sorrows and the immaculate heart and i ended up connecting them to my favorite chapter from the clear recital, ch. 12 the temple of the heart.

i made a seven sorrows chaplet a long time ago but i wasnt satisfied with how it turned out. been thinking about remaking it and putting it to use. i think the heart of seven sorrows and Mary's pain is something ive neglected to pay close attention to through this devotion specifically partially out of fear of confronting my own pain i think and from focusing more on the joyful and glorious mysteries (of the rosary). theres nothing wrong with that i think and ive received a lot of spiritual growth and enlightenment from them but i realize ive been glancing over a wealth of things in the seven sorrows. honestly i suspect that she showed me these things first to eventually be equipped to go deeper.

now i understand the heart pierced with seven swords is what the crucifix is like for others. it represents instances of suffering, oppression, terror and loss. going deeper than that, her pain is reflected in what we experience in our own lives but especially the lives of people less privileged and more effected by violence. vice versa, we recognize her pain and humanity in our own and understand that our experiences are shared and that we're not alone in them. in each of those blades we can acknowledge the pain we can't talk about. even our mother knows what it feels like. we can sit with it as long as we need to.

paired with the immaculate heart i realize the heart of seven sorrows and the immaculate heart serve to illustrate how healing occurs. the immaculate heart is a heart that has been healed and that even after intense pain and trauma it can still radiate love for everyone and everything. the immaculate heart is considered the center of Mary's being both literally and spiritually. people ask for her heart to pray for them and have litanies dedicated to her. i believe within her heart holds love for the whole universe. despite the trials she experienced, she was able to emerge on the other side. she can now help and teach us to do the same.

lastly, in chapter 12 of the clear recital it describes the spiritual center that everyone has which is a temple of the heart: 12:12-14 For the Spirit is One, and I am the Spirit. And you are the Spirit also, in the innermost temple of your heart. And She Who is the Spirit, My Mother, holds out Her hands to you in happiness beyond all knowing and joy beyond expression of all words.

because of distance from divinity and from ourselves, acknowledging our spiritual center of being and accessing it is difficult because theres numerous obstacles in the way towards that. when i read and re-read this chapter i immediately recognized how the immaculate heart had influence over this temple. the heart of the divine mother contains everything that exists and will exist like how the temple of the heart contains the cosmos within it (12:2 But within the innermost temple of your heart shall you find the seas and the heavens and all the illimitable cosmos, for the space within this temple is as vast as all the manifest universe.) while our individual hearts aren't quite as radiant as her's, the temple of our heart is still a spiritual sanctuary for us, our own sacred and immaculate hearts. the temple is a place we can connect with the divine and its in need of its own healing and learning for it to grow stronger and wiser. i love the idea of being gifted our own sacred hearts but i also love that we get to tend to them like gardens. with it, we can recognize our connection with everything and our inner divinity simultaneously. if and when we can't reach our own, our mother's is always there.

[eclerarosa]

ive been stewing on a idea for a little bit now about how to build a meditative practice besides reciting the rosary. i want this practice to be a deep meditation and to really try to enter a different state of consciousness from delving into the mystery of something. i do obviously want to include the prayer but something else to supplement that too. i kinda already do this with writing in my religious journal but meditation has existed for a long for a reason right? im still figuring out how im gonna do this though and it'll probably take me a while longer to figure it out

[eclerarosa]

no longer praying for jobs like i used to bc why pray for exploitation that will come anyways. just praying for support of community and a way to change the world is better use of prayers

[eclerarosa]

for some reason im just realizing how similar some of my main beliefs are to christian gnostic theology about sophia and it honestly makes me feel less alone comforted and quite validated. its also very fun for me to compare and contrast beliefs and the best part about that is no one needs to be right or wrong, things can just be and people can share ideas an build community with each other. and i get to learn new things (bonus for me)

[eclerarosa]

sometimes i just love being marian so much

[eclerarosa]

theres a religious community that i frequent often with a friend but lately i havent been feeling it spiritually. my discomfort comes with them starting to lean more christian lately instead of more universal (which is the norm for them) such as putting excerpts from the bible in sermons at least two weeks in a row, singing more overtly christian hymns etc. what really brought it to my attention is that after reading the bible myself a little i noticed where they got an excerpt from and it was painted as a positive message ... but looking in context its actually an ultimatum between living or being killed (Deuteronomy 30 approx.) for not obeying the laws written in the chapter. a lot of those laws are cruel and inhumane, im not afraid to say that. given the context 30:19 sounds a lot less hopeful when on its own. i think a lot of christianity is about reinterpreting scriptures in a more positive way and i understand what their intentions were for quoting it but it felt disingenuous and clumsy. what worries me is that this is a trend that will continue or an indication that the people writing the sermons are dipping more and more into christianity in general and i wonder what that could mean for the leadership and the community. even if its coming from a left leaning perspective (in that example it was climate justice), more traditionally christian based messages shouldn't take up most of the space in a spiritual center that is about universalism. i hope that doesn't happen, but what i suppose i wish for the most is my own religious community based in my own faith