#edadvice

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GOODBYE :(

As of today, I am handing this blog over to another wonderful recovery warrior named Mina. As much as I have truly loved this blog and each of you, my current life circumstances have forced me to give up edadvice so that someone more able may continue to support and inspire this amazing community that I have been so blessed to have been a part of.

As much as (I hope) I helped you guys, I hope that those of you I've gotten to know realize how much you've helped and inspired me. Each of you have been a beautiful, unique part of my recovery and I can't thank you enough. I wish every one of my followers all the luck in the world... Never keep fighting, and please know that there's at least one person out there who truly does care about you. 

If I don't stop now I will definitely start crying so... good-bye, good luck, and kick some serious ass in life ok :)

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*IMPORTANT PLEASE READ*

Hello lovely ladies and gentlemen, I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is that, after much consideration, I've decided to give up this blog. I'm taking 16 credits of upper division courses at school plus working 42 hours a week, and I just don't have time to properly run this blog anymore. It's not fair to you guys that I now take 1-2 weeks to respond to questions... You all deserve someone who is able to dedicate more time. I love this blog and all of my beautiful followers, especially those of you whom I've gotten to know, but I just can't keep up anymore -- as much as this truly pains me :( The good news is that I don't want to completely shut down EdAdvice... Rather, I'd like to donate it to one of you. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN TAKING OVER MY BLOG, message me for more information. Please inquire only if you'd like to continue to run this blog as an inspirational/advice blog :)

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(message answered as post in order to remove #'s)

Q: I was at a ___ weight when I experienced a relapse with my ED. When I finally recovered, my ___ frame blew up to a whopping ___ pounds. A lot of it is still muscle, because I used to lift a lot, but even more is fat. And I just feel so fat & awful. Even though I exercise frequently and eat a lot of fruit/veggies & minimal junk food, my body holds onto the weight now. I just can't win & it's getting so hard not to relapse :'( especially when I'm fat even though I take good care of myself :(

A: Hi dear, I'm sure that's very frustrating for you :( Have you ever heard of the set point theory? It's well-supported theory that each of our bodies has a specific weight at which it is happiest; when you fall below that weight, your metabolism slows, and when you go above it, your metabolism increases. However, eating disorders do a great job of derailing this mechanism. Right now, your body is probably pretty confused... It still isn't sure if it trusts you to not starve it again, so it's holding on to all that it can. But, once you've been in solid recovery for about a year (this varies from person to person of course), your body will begin to trust you and regain its usual mechanisms, like set point. Then, your weight should stabilize (on its own, and without your effort) to a weight that is healthy for you. I know that may sound a little far-fetched, but I've seen it happen over and over again -- my own recovery included. 

But relapsing... that won't do you any good in the long run. It will make it harder for your body to be naturally healthy again, and will make it harder for it to begin to trust you in the future. Furthermore, your eating disorder is never, ever, ever, ever going to make you HAPPY. But continuing to treat your body with love and respect, and beginning the journey to radical self-acceptance? That will bring you happiness, and life, and light. I promise your disorder never can, never will. Relapsing just isn't worth it.

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I sometimes feel the urge to purge after I eat. Like I don't just want to...I feel like I need to, in order to feel physically okay. And I feel this way even though I've been in recovery for two years. Is this normal? :'(

Hi hun, I totally understand that “urge.” Just remember… urges are only urges, they are NOT something you have to act on. If an urge serves no purpose and is constantly ignored, it will eventually dissipate. So stay strong love :) “Normal”?… No, not exactly. But very typical for someone who has struggled with an eating disorder. If you can, try to pinpoint the emotions that are behind your urges… do you feel anxious, overwhelmed, guilty? (“Fat,” by the way, doesn’t count as an emotion ;)). There are lots of tools and techniques you can use to address these negative emotions without acting out on your eating disorder. I’ve found ‘grounding’ to be very helpful… here’s a great link that gives you some of those techniques: http://www.bcbhr.org/Articles.aspx?7 :) Good luck hun and stay healthy <3

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So I've noticed myself slipping back into the habits of my ED. And I've just been super grumpy the past few weeks cuz I've noticed all the weight I've gained since I started my recovery. And all I wanna do is start skipping again.

Hi hun, sorry to hear you’re struggling :( Here’s the thing about weight gain in recovery… It’s necessary. Whether it happens now or 20 years of fighting later, you will eventually have to learn to accept a healthy body if you ever want to be free from this. Backtracking and losing weight now is only going to procrastinate the inevitable — and the longer you spend in your ED, the harder and longer that process will be. The best thing you could possibly do for yourself and your recovery and your health and your life… is to push through this discomfort. I know it’s hard. I know it sucks. But it gets better, easier. Way easier than living with anorexia.

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Hey all,

I'm going adventuring this weekend and won't have my phone or computer or anything... Have my queue up and will answer questions when I return :)

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Whenever I stand up after sitting or laying down for a while I get super dizzy, feel like I am going to faint, my vision blackens at the edges and then my hearing goes funny like ringing in my ears then after a few minutes it all goes away. Could this be from my ED?

Absolutely. I experienced very similar symptoms in my eating disorder. If this is happening to you, it’s your body telling you that it is breaking down. Please see a doctor, hun, your health and life are in danger. 

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i just feel so fat. i've had trouble eating for awhile and i want to talk about it. i don't know what to say, other than i feel fat. i look at myself and i can easily pick out every flaw about my body... I'm so uncomfortable with who i am and what i look like i'm just so lost.

Aw love, I’m sorry you can’t see how beautiful you are :( But please, instead of working so hard to change yourself — as so many people do — put your energy into accepting yourself. That will take you so much further in life, I assure you. The first step to self-acceptance is changing your cognitions… Don’t allow yourself to say bad things about yourself. When you look in the mirror, notice (don’t judge) yourself thinking negative thoughts, and then change them — even if you don’t believe them yet. Say aloud, “I look goddamn great today. I exude confidence and self-love. I am a powerful, unique woman and I am going to own this body, this beautiful vessel of life, with pride.” Say it again and again and again. Say it every day until you begin to believe it - and you will, if you try hard enough. Keep an ongoing list of compliments you receive and things you like about yourself. Post it somewhere. Write a list of kind words to yourself to read when you’re feeling down. Make a collage of beautiful women of all shapes and sizes, colors and styles, to remind yourself that beauty takes so many forms. Just, whatever you do, don’t fuel change with self-hate, but with self-love. If you’re truly at an unhealthy weight for your body type, alter your diet and activity because you love your body and want to take care of it, not because you hate the way you look. Self-acceptance really is key to lasting happiness and change :)