#edadviceanswered

[edadvice-blog]

I'm leaving for university for the first time in a few days and I am stressing out. I've never been diagnosed with anything, I have the habit of calorie counting. It's like an addiction. I've been getting better and working on not restricting, but with all the moving stress as well as other family issues, I'm incredibly overwhelmed. My fear is that once I move I'm going to lose it and starting restricting because it's always on my mind. Any advice? Thank you.

Hi hun, congrats on starting university! I know it may feel incredibly overwhelming and scary right now, but maybe it’s exactly what you need at this point in your life. Try to be open and look at going to university as a chance to begin a new chapter in your life… hopefully one free of eating disordered behaviors :)

It’s interesting (and debatable), but I’ve noticed a trend among the people I know with eating disorders (I’m not implying that you have full-blown anorexia or bulimia, but disordered eating occurs in endless degrees of severity)… There seems to be two types of people:

those who have significant issues with food before they go to university, and who generally do better once they leave home and escape their original triggers 

those who have no significant issues with food before going to university, and develop eating disorders brought on by college-related triggers

I’m sure not every person with an eating disorder follows that pattern, but in my experience, most people do — including myself. Before I went to university (three years ago), I was in a pretty bad relapse. I couldn’t wait to move out so that I could get even sicker, away from the careful watch of my parents. But once I got there, something odd happened. I didn’t want to starve. I flushed my laxatives down the toilet and did very well that entire semester. I moved back home for second semester and fell into the worst relapse I’ve ever had almost immediately. 

So I guess my point is, try not to stress too much about university, if you can help it. Go in with an open mind and get involved. Pursue friendships and hobbies and interests and happiness. You might just find that university is exactly what you needed — and if not, you’ll have a better idea of what you do need to get healthy again.

Good luck!

[edadvice-blog]

I have like 5 boxes of my favorite granola that I used to eat daily just sitting there on the counter. I cut it out of my diet because I felt like it had too many calories and now I just have a collection of them. I keep telling myself ill have some when I reach a certain weight but I know its a lie. It freaks me out to think about eating it.

I used to HATE how a food that used to feel “safe” or whatever would suddenly become a raging fear food! When I began recovery, I slowly started implementing my fear foods into meals — it took about a year before I tackled them all. But, every single time I ate a food that terrified me, it became less scary.

The only way to get over a fear food is to eat it. You don’t need to go and make a huge bowl of granola right this second, but when you’re ready, eat it in a small portion, at first. Maybe add just a spoonful of granola to your yogurt one day. Do that until it begins to feel less scary, and then increase the portions, and repeat. Eventually you’ll be able to eat it again, I promise :)

On another note… If you’re just beginning to cut out foods and have these thoughts involving food and your weight, I would recommend considering talking to a counselor or someone you trust. You could be developing an eating disorder, and the only way to ultimately stop feeling fearful of foods is to tackle the roots of that. 

Good luck!

[edadvice-blog]

I ate too much today :( and I feel awful about it

Try to distract yourself and trust that your body knows what it’s doing… If you were hungry today and ate more than you normally do, that’s OK. Some days you’ll be under and other you’ll be over; eventually it all evens out. So take a deep breath, have compassion with yourself, and do something to relax: take a bath, go for a short walk, watch a funny movie, make a new playlist, treat yourself to a new purse, whatever you like :)

[edadvice-blog]

I can't get help.. I can't just stop restricting or quit purging..

Believe me, I know how difficult it is to ask for help, and I especially know how impossible it is to “just stop” restricting and purging. But there’s also no easy, quick-fix or simple answer, though I truly wish there were. Every person, every eating disorder, and every recovery is a little different. For me, personally, I began my long, roller-coaster of a recovery when I was 16 and confided in a teacher. Next I told my parents, and that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, especially because they didn’t take me seriously. It took another 8 months for them to wake up and get me help. I went to my first residential treatment center at 17, and my last one at 20. One week from today, I’ll have been in (consistent, solid) recovery for two years. Had I never asked for help, hard and painful as it was, and had I never gone to treatment or found my wonderful, amazing therapist and dietician… I would be dead. So when people come to me who have eating disorders and want to stop but can’t, the only advice I feel ethical giving is to get professional help. It doesn’t matter what your situation is, there is always a way to reach out. There is always a way to seek help. Sometimes that means having to be really fucking brave and vulnerable and terrified, but I swear to god it’s worth it. 

**However, I also realize that some people may be different from me and if you want to hear someone else’s perspective, I know one (amazing, beautiful, incredible) woman named Allie (defyingthelabyrinth) who, over the course of seven rocky years, was able to kick her eating disorder’s ass with minimal professional treatment. 

[edadvice-blog]

So, this is kind of the typical "I don't know if I have an ed" question, but, I'm a bit confused. I know that, if I'm Questioning it, I should probably get help but: so, I purge. I've been vomiting for about 3 months (fitting the requirement for bulimia/purging disorder), but about two years prior to that, I would restrict (it wasn't routine). Anyway, I was wondering if it's a purging disorder, if you sometimes binge, without purging (that doesn't always happen, but it has)? Sorry, take carexx

Hi dear, no need to apologize. :) In terms of the DSM-V (which I have some issues with), you might fit criteria for bulimia if you binge (a rather vague and subjective term) before you purge, and are not at a “significantly low” weight; if you are at a low weight, you might fit criteria for binge/purge type anorexia. There’s also Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder (previously EDNOS), which is just as serious and even more common than anorexia and bulimia. Regardless of your exact “label,” for lack of a better term, it definitely sounds like your relationship with food and your body are disordered and dangerous, and warrant more looking into — but it sounds like you already know that :)

In regards to you restricting a couple years ago… Eating disorders and disordered eating morph overtime. Behaviors come and go, alternate, transform… It doesn’t make your current struggle any less valid or relatable. 

[edadvice-blog]

Hey I think I have a ED but I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm not sick enough or I'm just faking it for attention so I've decided to ask a person who had one to say if my issues with food is legit or not. I've started having issues with my weight and body image a couple of months ago, even though I've always been insecure this is way worse. Now I've lost 13 pounds, I keep a food diary, I always count calories and food is always on my mind. I also have started making myself vomit. Help?

Hi hun. First of all, I think it’s really brave of you to admit all this to yourself and to someone else. I can really empathize with what you’re going through — you sound a lot like me when my eating disorder first began. Even when I was inpatient for the first time I’d think, “I’m not sick enough,” “I don’t deserve to be getting help - I’m not even that thin,” “maybe I’m just faking this for attention and I don’t even know it.” And then a few things became more clear: 1.) people who aren’t sick don’t want to be sick. 2.) regardless of whether I was anorexic for attention or not, I was still anorexic; there’s no “faking” starving yourself, marking yourself vomit, feeling trapped in your own skin, or the very real, overwhelming rush of guilt and grief that strikes every time your stomach isn’t empty. 3.) needing and wanting attention is not abnormal or devious - it’s human. 

I do not know your situation well enough nor do I have the credentials to diagnose you with an eating disorder, but from my experience and from what I do know, I would say that it is very likely that you have some type of eating disorder or, at the very least, that you are well on your way to developing one. Tell someone you trust about what’s going, and if you can, seek professional treatment (I say this all the time on here, but I think it’s so important). Your behaviors are extremely dangerous and can have truly devastating consequences on your body, life, and health. Do some research, attend support groups, and please, at the very least, see a doctor (although some doctors are still highly ignorant when it comes to eating disorders, beware). Take care hun, please!

[edadvice-blog]

I keep not eating and when I do I purge.. What do I do?

You tell someone you trust, and get some form of formal help. You do everything in your power to stop restricting and purging before it kills you (in one way or another, eating disorders always do). You try to understand why you’re doing these things, and you go from there. You get better. 

[edadvice-blog]

How do I stop going backwards in recovery? Ever since my parents split Ana's just been getting worse and I know I've got more ground to cover again :( I feel like it's my gaily they've split but I never wanted to hurt anyone else

Sorry to hear that dear :( Does anyone know about your eating disorder, or are you receiving any professional help (if not, I’d highly recommend it)?

Going through an emotionally traumatic experience such as a parents’ divorce can definitely trigger a lapse or relapse. Your eating disorder may serve as a coping mechanism, a safety blanket; it provides comfort in familiarity and hurts in a way that distracts from the pain and emotions that are rooted in your parents’ split. You might feel guilty, as many children of divorced families do, as if this is your fault (it’s not, by the way)… That leaves you more vulnerable to the eating disorder’s lies: that you don’t deserve to eat, that you don’t deserve recovery. But those are just that, my dear: big, fat lies. You and your family are going through a big change right now. If anything, you deserve and need nourishment, self-love, and self-care more than ever right now. Don’t let your eating disorder convince you otherwise.

I can’t tell you how to stop a relapse, but I can tell what’s worked for me when I feel myself slipping. First, I identify what purpose my eating disorder is serving; I look at what is new or stressful in my life, and how I might be coping through behaviors. Then I work my ass off to meet those needs in other ways. I also journal, do things I enjoy, force myself to eat when I don’t want to; I see my therapist and dietician more frequently, and talk openly with my close friends about my struggles. I pull myself back up, and it sucks and it’s hard, but I’ve never regretted it. :) 

Good luck, it’s going to be okay :)