long time, no see :)
hey everyone!! it's been quite a while since i've posted anything to this blog, but i love it too much to just let it fall into obscurity. i understand if you many of you skip this post since i do plan on it being a bit longer than my other non-writing ones, but i really would like to be honest with not just everyone here, but also myself.
its been a little over 3 years since i first started this star trek blog. originally, i started it when i was in a very low place in my life and all that i really had left was my long long love of star trek and my art mediums to fall back on for comfort. i was still closeted at the time, living with my parents, failing school, and borderline suicidal due to a 4 year situationship that almost ruined me in the end. to say i didn't want to be here anymore was an understatement. i didn't want to die, i simply didn't want to be physically where i was at the time.
its been three years and i still love star trek as much as i did when i was a kid. i've loved this franchise my entire life and i always will. the same goes for writing, art, and expression in my life. they're still very much my life lines and i don't know what i would do if i could never make another thing ever again.
so what has changed since i was last actively writing? a lot, dear follower. a bit over a year ago, i met the most beautiful soul to ever grace this world. we celebrate our 1 year this september and i wouldn't change it for anything in the entire world. he's my muse, my love, my life. i don't know where i would be without him.
back in march, i hit a point in my life where i realized if i did not change something, i would end up being the end to my own story. i spent months of my life at that point rotting away in a room covered in my teenage years and with parents who, at the time, did not believe me when i told them who i was. it was a steep, painful, and gut wrenching decline that would've been the reason for me taking my own life if it wasn't for the decisions i made.
in april, about two weeks after my birthday, i packed what i could into a suitcase and a backpack, and traveled across the country (not without getting stuck in denver however) to a new state and into the arms of my lover boy. i've been here now for going on 4 months and it's one of the best decisions i've ever made. i was incredibly fortunate to better the relationship between me and my parents. the same dad who once tormented me day to day is now helping me get on HRT. he would rather have a living son than a dead one, he's realized. i understand not everyone will have the same privileges that i have had over these few months, but i hope some day, no one will have to be forced into the position that i was in.
all the things that have happened to me in the past few years have been more than most live in a life time. i've realized too that the connections i've made on this blog, the art i've made, the words i've written- they're all apart of the reasons i'm still here. there has been times in the past three years where writing and positive response was the only thing keeping me alive. and for all those kind words and thoughts, i thank every single one of you. i don't know how i got so much attention on this blog and i don't know if i'll ever have as much as i once did, but that doesn't bother me one bit. i was never here for the numbers or popularity. i was here for the connections i've made with people and to share my art, ideas, laughter, and community.
i don't know if i will stop writing on this blog or not. i really enjoy everyone on here and i love writing, but life will throw curveballs sometimes and i have no way of knowing when those things will come at me. i may post things here or there, but most likely never as actively as i once did.
once again, thank you all for the love, support, friendship, laughs, community, and creativity. live long and prosper, my friend <3
