#eeshita

[eeshita]

my poem

[kobita-cascade]

My Womb

These days...

I have a little bud growing inside me

To give it water, a fountain.

To give it light, a sun.

To make the flower bud thrive,

there is, almost over night, 

a thriving little garden inside!

The possibilities of the flower....

is an aroma that surrounds me -

day and night.

Eeshita Azad

[kobita-cascade]

I am

I am full, full to the brim.

I am a fool, fool to your whim.

When you sliced open me, the me I knew melted

Like chocolate, your finger tips tainted

All the sucking and licking,

Turning and flicking,

Emptied my insides – blank whites to be painted.

Knowing all, you marked me as yours,

In the world that you created.

  ...and as I was saying,

Like chocolate, warm and melted,

The tainted fool, trembling, I waited.

কেন বলতো? কেন I waited?

যখন তুমি চাষার মত আমায় চষে

রুখু হাত তাঁতীর মত আষ্টেপৃষ্ঠে কষে

লাল জামদানীতে, টুকটুকে আমাকে কষাই নির্লিপ্ত চোখে,

টুকরো টুকরো করে চেখে দেখেছ

আর ভেবেছ, অন্ধের যষ্ঠীর মত আমি

তোমাকেই আঁকড়ে থাকব, আজীবন।

কিন্তু একবারো কি ভেবে দেখেছ

এ জয় তো কোন জয় নয়

এ ঘোর পরাজয়

আমি হারলাম বটে, কিন্তু তুমিও জিতলে না। 

  Eeshita Azad

[kobita-cascade]

Her Husband

  I walk in

And the room quiets.

I breathe in the collective disapproval of the room.

Whispered words:

”single”, “out there”, “guard your own”

And, I hold it in…smile.

I hold it in, until, he arrives.

  He gets my attention straight away.

As he knocks my drink

But doesn’t let it spill

Holding my hand steady,

His back to the room, he winks,

While he brushes the sticky sweet nectar clean,

of my fingers,

inside of my forearms,

my glass bangles,

my sari pleats,

My inside…

And I exhale. Finally.

The room dissolves.

And I resolve not to care.

  But then my eyes meet hers

The all knowing- all seeing sad eyes.

A language only the women share

She tells me a story

In seconds that stretches to minutes,

Minutes that stretches to hours

and hours to a lifetime of moments being wasted.

Wasted on a man who can only see “others”.

A man who cannot hold on to anything because

He has a habit of knocking everything out of its place…

And the balancing can only take you so far…

    Eeshita Azad