we smoked so much weed
I don’t regret that we smoked so much weed over the years and wasted so much time. My perception has just changed because I suddenly know what good came out of that experience, and what lessons I learned that I think made it worth it.
First, that I am very creative and have a lot to express, stuff I need to express. Secondly, I developed a paranoia about how quickly time was passing and how little I was getting done. I had things to express in creative mediums but somehow could never find the motivation to do so. When I stopped smoking weed I had motivation again, but I didn’t lose my paranoia over the passage of time, though it subsided to a manageable point. And that awareness of time passing plus my growing need to express things has somehow transformed into discipline.
I am disciplined in how I use my time now and I’m finding that I’m getting a lot done. I’m maintaining my life and work but I’m also finding the time for so many creative pursuits.
So the third thing I learned is that I cannot smoke weed and achieve what I want/need to achieve in this life. And so it comes full circle and I gained a valuable lesson from an experience that I thought was a tragic loss of time for so long. So now I don’t regret it anymore and that makes me feel lighter.