There's a Boy Who Lived and a boy who didn't, and even a mother can't always tell them apart.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
danpuff notes: perverse_idyll's characters are always so, so captivating for their merciless humanity.
This is a story about Eileen and the boys who visit her.
This is a masterpiece of character work, not only of the central character Eileen, but also of her son. And, in the contrast, Harry.
There is nothing I adore more than flawed characters and woo-boy, have we hit the jackpot! Eileen is a bitter and unpleasant woman. She's grieving, yes, but that's not all there is to it. She's complicated, as all humans are.
She's unsocial. Not one to care for being sweet or kissing butt. Her interactions with other people are not especially nice. Though her moments of desperation, where she screws up and rushes in to "fix" it, are so real and so interesting! She is also not especially kind in the way she thinks of people, even (or especially) her son.
You can see so much of Severus in Eileen. But it's so perfectly balanced! Often in stories, familial relationships never feel quite right. Family members are either too alike or too different, but here we get flavors of Severus without her being him. You can see the connection, can see the impact they left on one another, without them being one another. What a special find this is! They feel like real, individual people with a real, individual relationship and history!
IT'S SO PERFECT I ACTUAL WANT TO SCREAM.
Ahem.
So for all of Eileen's flaws, she's no monster. She's more than the bitter woman life has crushed her into. She is a woman determined to find the truth, and to do the right thing. (Or what she sees as being the right thing.) I won't get too deep into that to avoid spoilers, but my gosh! There is a part of her with values and morals, and those things matter enough to take what action she can.
She's smart. Maybe not the genius her son is, but she's quick. She figures out the mystery all on her own. She's Slytherin enough to move the pieces where she needs them for her to act. She has mind enough and skill enough to make a plan and act on it. She is her own woman, her own person, outside of Severus' mother. Outside of that role, outside how she affected him. She is a person!
Eileen is also a mother, though, but not just the role of mother. But what that role did to her. Her feelings about becoming a mother, her feelings about her son, neither of them are easy to swallow or especially sweet, but she loves him. Even if she doesn't know how to love him.
God, Eileen here is fantastic. But it's not just her! It's what we glean about Severus from her. From her thoughts and memories, from what she shares with Harry. The compare/contrast to Harry.
Honestly. It's all so messed up and convoluted and dysfunctional. It's gritty and real. And just plain gorgeous. This is a story about a woman. And a story about her son. A story about a mother's love, even -- or especially -- when it isn't rainbows and sunshine.
I'd like to leave off with a quote from the story, though it's hard to narrow down. Perverse_idyll is a true wordsmith who weaves magic with prose, and so many parts of it struck me deep. So I'll choose the most self-indulgent bit, as it so aligns with my own headcanons and things I love about Severus:
'Oh, Lord, that look. It ran in the family, like problem hair. Not just love. Not just hate. But loving and hating at the same time, with equal intensity and insatiable need.'
So please, do yourself a favor and go read this one! (And feel free to DM me and chat about it.) (Please???? Someone come love this story and scream with me????)
Also check out my rec for The White Road: 1.) because you should read more of perverse_idyll’s work, but also 2.) if you wanna hear me fangirl wail some more about a work I LOVE and ADORE.
