If it’s not too personal, did the realization you were trans coincide with the onset of your disability, or had there been inklings long before that? Had you always been into weight gain/feedism or did that also start with your disability? I find your journey really interesting because of the interplay between everything so I was curious
oh, yeah it did! i ought to write in a longer more elaborate form about it someday, but for now heres the short version:
your body changes a lot after sci. a LOT a lot. first i lost weight, then when i got out of the hospital and into rehabilitation, i gained all that weight back (and then some) in a very different (🍐) way. the two other guys i shared a room with also had this happen to them, and they were having a really hard time with the changes- yknow, like me, active fit guys who were vain about their conventional athleticism. rather, i happened to rather like them, but saying that aloud would've been socially unacceptable to say (or so i thought), and i began to get super confused about the whole matter. after i got hurt, i had to really contend with who i ACTUALLY was, beyond the things i used to be able to do, since i couldn't do them anymore: i wasnt a musician, or a diver, or a triathlete, or whatever. and then the trans flag rose in the background lol
also i have always always been very vocally into fat men, and had spent a bit of time lurking in gainer spaces, and that combined with what i described above was all very obviously the catalyst for me joining and being actively kinky, and also thinking about myself in a kinky way. i also joined to try to get used to my new body, and to bypass the self-hate that would inevitably come if i had my opinions of myself influenced by the wider world. and this was the result! yay!
