I’m pretty sure that ingesting turkey bacon is considered a mortal sin.
“The farmer said that he saw a large, humanoid creature that was rummaging through some garbage only to rear up on its legs and skulk about on the edges of the outside lights. Nevertheless, it was visible enough for the farmer to describe it as looking like a naked, muscular man covered in thin, white hair, hands that seemed to end in claws, and with a snouted face that looked like that of a pig.”
Well, I can’t say I’m averse to the idea of a naked muscular man, however I could do without the other characteristics. What can I say to you to convince to put your credit card away, G-Man? I’ll let you do unspeakable things to pork products in my kitchen… That do anything for you?
Mulder, I can’t get the smell of bacon out of my kitchen, you jerk. You’re lucky you’re so...forgivable.
Also, you’re sweet, but why did you slip this note in my mailbox and not just hand it to me? And I do appreciate the gesture but it’s a bit saccharine, don’t you think? Since when do you wax all poetic and romantic?
I’m surprised you didn’t leave it on my pillow, Don Juan.
A love note? As much as I’d love to claim responsibility for a well versed letter confessing my love and adoration of the Immaculate Agent Scully, it wasn’t me. Are you sure you didn’t get a neighbor’s mail by mistake? Or am I in competition with another Don Juan?
>DO NOT STOP READING THIS OR SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!
>One day, Sarah was walking home from school when her boyfriend drove by >and honked at her to get in. she got in his car and he drove her to the lake. >Her boyfriend said he was going to tell her something very important.
>Sarah could have sworn he was going to propose. However, he flicked her off, >pushed her into the lake and yelled, “I am breaking up with you, you >awful……..!! I hate you and i think that >maybe you should just end >your…………..life!! DUMB………………!!!”
>He laughed and drove off. It was a very cold day. Sarah climbed out of the >lake, freezing cold, and feeling the worst she had in her entire life. She got >home went in a hot bath, and slid >under the water and died in the tub.
>Later that week, Sarah’s exboyfriend was taking a shower when she came from >the drain, rotting and decomposing, with a razor in her hand and said >“Goodbye Jason.” Her ghost cut his throat before he could scream.
>If you do not forward this email to 15 people within the next 13 minutes, you are >a heartless……..and Sarah will come to you in the shower from the drain, and >will kill you the same way she killed her boyfriend. 24 ppl have broken this >chain and died.
Really? What did I tell you about sending me these forwards, Mulder? I’ve told you before there is zero scientific evidence that you’re going to live or die or become a millionaire depending on whether or not you send a poorly constructed chain letter with dubious punctuation choices.
Now what kind of stupid chain letter do I need to send to insure that you’ll be spending the night over here tonight?
Please tell me you saw the latest issue of it and read the latest update regarding The Trenchcoat Duo from the basement. I’m freaking out right now!
F
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I bought 3 copies! I knew it, I fricken knew it! I have been calling that for years, so I’m not really surprised. With the way he looms over her, and the way she’s always this*close to him, even when walking in the hallways. Like, I think the only person who will be surprised by this is the superiors. I wonder if they’ll end up reassigned after this. That article was NASTY.
Remember Janet from Anti Terrorism? Well she said she hooked up with him a few years back, and that his doom and gloom was a real treat between the sheets. From the sound of it from that article, Agent Scully is really reaping all those benefits.
Jordan
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I bought 2, ha! Jordan, the bureau hasn’t seen this kind of scandal since...well I’m not sure since when. I mean, has there ever been a sex scandal that involved the bureau? Regardless, I’m sure they will try and reassign them if they’re found, but Mr. and Mrs. Spooky (omg so much funnier now that it’s confirmed that they ARE sleeping together) have a reputation of not working well with others, ya know? I bet they both quit. It’s sad, really. If the bureau had a prom, I would have voted them prom King and Queen.
Janet claims to have been with everything that walks, so I wouldn’t put too much stock into her claims. What I will agree with, however, is that Agent Scully is reaping ALL of the benefits. Lucky B.
F
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I would have voted for them too. They were like the bureau’s sweethearts. But with the dirty details in that article, I can’t see it going any other way.
I have a few reports I need to finish up. We’ll discuss more at lunch.
Jordan
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Confidentiality Notice: This email and any attachment are confidential and may be privileged and are intended only for the authorized recipients of the sender. The information contained in this email and any attachment(s) must not be published, copied, disclosed, or transmitted in any form to any person or entity unless expressly authorized by the sender.
Apart from boosting customer satisfaction, telephone conversations are also more efficient than email. Email exchanges often lead to delays, conflicts, and misunderstandings that could have been easily avoided through a simple phone call. Customer representatives are increasingly pressured to improve email response times, which can result in rushed responses and dissatisfied customers. Knowing that a dedicated customer phone line is available could tip the balance in favor of your business when customers make decisions. Telephone communication offers an added level of immediacy that written communication cannot match, and your customers are aware of it.
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