#embryonicjourney

[letsdiscoverkitty]

hope you have a good time! strangely i’ve always liked going to the cinema alone and definitely find it can be a nice way to “escape” xx

Thank you hun ♥It is not something that people talk about doing very often, and it is only recently that I have discovered the joy of going to the cinema on my own (this was my second time). I must admit that I struggled a bit with the film today as it was a complex story line and dragged a bit/was quite long but I think it did me good to get out and do something like that for myself. I did find my mind wandering quite a bit but I tried to bring myself back best I could. I am definitely going to try to get into doing it a bit more often as I do enjoy going to the cinema, especially when I can go at a time when it is relatively empty/no crowds and I can be a bit more relaxed xxx

[letsdiscoverkitty]

wishing you good luck today, i’m sure it’ll be really busy / full on! take care x

Thank you for your kind thoughts lovely, it was such a full on day yesterday and by the time I got home I was exhausted. I will try to write a little post later as I did some reflecting about my time on the ward and the things that I have achieved over the past three months. Here’s to a new beginning xx

[letsdiscoverkitty]

wishing you all the best - as scary as it feels, you know that you would tell someone else in your position to stick out the panic and the negativity because the rest and fuel is exactly what the body is so desperately craving at the moment. give yourself time, and hang in there xx

Thank you love, you are right, I know what I would say to anyone else. Your support means a lot to me xxx

[letsdiscoverkitty]

wishing you all the best lovely kitty, you’ve done a bloody brilliant job surviving this decade and hope you can start to find peace in the next one!!! loads of love and positive recovery vibes ❤️

Thank you hun, your never-ending support means the world to me. I truly hope that this New Year holds great things for you. All my love x

[letsdiscoverkitty]

sending you LOADS of love and good vibes, you got this xxx

♡♡♡

[letsdiscoverkitty]

On what you said about “never feeling 100% ready to change” - honestly i think the only time we will feel absolutely sure about change having been the right thing is when we’re safely out of the other side and far away from an ED mindset. throughout the actual process it’s normal to be uncertain! for a lot of people the full 100% confidence in their choice to recover only comes way later! maybe you progress only 1% certain but you’re trusting that to be your healthier, non-ED brain speaking up💖

THIS!!!!!!!!!Thankyouthankyouthankyou. 

I think you have hit the nail on the head. In the moment/during the process of change it will never ever feel ‘right’ or ‘okay’ or ‘comfortable’ (whatever that change may be in life, related to recovery or not). There will always be another reason/excuse to put things off or wait a little longer. A fear that tries to override. A goal post that shifts....It is forever “tomorrow”. Another day. A little later. Next week. Next month. When x happens. When summer comes...and that’s the thing, there is always something else on the horizon. The anxiety that arises when being faced with the prospect of change is never going to magically disappear or lessen by itself. It is only through acknowledging reality and taking that leap of faith (however big or small) and holding on through it, that you begin to learn that NOTHING TERRIBLE IS GOING TO HAPPEN. You can’t expect things to change if nothing actually changes. Neural rewiring requires you to actively go AGAINST the disordered engrained pathways that you have become so accustomed to going down multiple times. And it is so hard because we have to put our trust in the very thing that feels so “wrong”, however we have to try to remember the facts in that moment. The reality that we are living. And hold onto the bigger picture best we can. The road ahead feels incredibly daunting and scary, endless and impassable at times but we can’t give up without even trying. we have to give it a chance. we have to see for ourselves and build up the evidence. one day and one step at a time. and hold onto that hope that things can be different, that things can change and that it will be worth it in the end x

[letsdiscoverkitty]

proud to see you’re still hanging on in there, you are doing so well to keep going against this as it’s unbelievably tough. wishing you all the best this weekend! xxx

Bless you, thank you for popping by love. I hope you are well and have a lovely weekend yourself ♥♥♥

[letsdiscoverkitty]

wishing you a restful snuggly weekend in this weather! have you had snow in your area? X

Thank you love, I hope that you have a lovely weekend yourself. We did indeed get quite a bit of snow yesterday afternoon/evening (a few inches) however by the morning most of it had cleared, but the roads are a bit hazardous around here as they do not get gritted (countryside living) although I think we have gotten off quite lightly compared to other parts of the country. I am definitely not enjoying the freezing temperatures at the moment (it’s been going down to about -6 at night) but we have the log fire going, I have an extra little heater in my room and the cats are keeping me good company. Hot drinks and warm/comforting foods are a must! xx