#emi's letters

[bottledstardusts]

What are you afraid of? I'm afraid of not doing well in school and not being good enough and... well basically not being good enough for anyone or anything-- There's always this nagging "what if" that sometimes makes me question what I really mean to people, how important I am to them, and how easily replaced I am.

dshbfsd I can completely relate with you anon- its really hard to know your worth to other people without seeming clingy or paranoid, but i think it’s good to realize this because that means you care about these people and they’re existence (at least, that’s what i’d like to think)

There are times they wont constantly talk to you and go on with their lives, and to be forgotten is a depressing thought- but I think at the same time you gotta accept the fact just because you can’t talk to one another all the time, that doesn’t mean your worth less! I think the tricky thing about relationship is trust, and that can be hard even among friends- ‘do they find me annoying? am I being overbearing? do I still matter?’ And I think- as long as you trust your friends/ loved ones- these fears can be lessened, even if it’s just a little- ofc spending time with one another is also important tho! But if you feel as if you need to constantly please them or you don’t feel comfortable with them for whatever reason, I think it’s best to re-examine why. If you think you’ll be easily replaced, re-examine yourself (because truth be told if you trusted your friends, they deserve better than you assuming they’d replace you with a snap!) if they constantly make you question your worth and make your relationship seem like an obligation, then its best to let those people out of your life cause /you/ deserve better! Remember that talking to them about whatever makes you uncomfortable or doubtful is always the best step (esp if you didn’t do anything wrong/ there is no conflict) Assuming things can always lead to trouble!

God luck with school tho! Whatever course/ school work you’re going through, pls take care of your health first! No grade is worth you getting ill!

[bottledstardusts]

PSS T can you do Evelyn for 2, 12, 22--

!!!!! YOU GOT IT!

i’ll do so when I wake up later o)-<

[bottledstardusts]

shibaamiyuki just a heads up that I will no longer post my art...

i like how my art gets lost in my reblogs, heh. though thank you for posting it for me hope i don’t butcher hehe o/

shibaamiyuki uhm touran hell so have some poop arts of saniwa...

her hair is so fluffy AAAAA i want to draw her fluffy

WWWWWWWW dankeee she was a sheep or something in her previous life o)-< and np np o/ too lazy to look for ref in fb album hhhh

[bottledstardusts]

Well, that depends on what this 'big' decision is. You have think it over, the pros, the cons. You have to see if it's worth doing and most importantly, if you want to do it.

I have thought over the downsides (mostly possible drama since there are already officers chosen for the spot- but the professor taking over doesn’t seemed satisfied with the line up and messaged me about this issue. If there was a sudden change I’m worried about how these officers would feel being possibly replaced. That and I haven’t really since myself as a leader type- I’m only ever good at following orders. And to begin with I’ve never had leadership training before-)

And the upsides (It’d would look great on my resume one of these days, ain’t gonna lie since we hold big festivals annually. And to be honest, a few of the current officers don’t seem…right for the job? But I’m not saying I should replace them, I just feel there are better people out there better suited for the job and apparently some of our professors thinks I’m a fit— but idk maybe they see something I don’t but yeah. Plus once in a life time opportunity, I know if I let this go I won’t ever get a chance again-)

I want to take it, but I’m so scared to shoulder that big of an org- I’ve never led anything in my life (and we’re kinda in probation cause the last set of officers— hecked up a bit??) and a lot is at stake. I don’t want to risk it getting dissolved. I just wanted other people’s opinion I guess, especially those not involved,

[bottledstardusts]

Orange, white! /o/

//snuggles the Ara/////

Orange: 6 facts about my home town

1. Back when I was still a kid, I actually didn’t grow up in my own home

2. I mostly lived with my grandmother (or I was left with my parent’s friends who I didn’t really know, they’d have this rotation scheduled out-)

3. There was a starfruit tree in my grandma’s garden and I would tell myself before “I’m going to eat a fruit from that tree!” but—- I never did and they cut down the tree a few years ago |D;;

4. Grandma had a gardener and after his work he would draw on the pavement with chalk- he was really talented! I remembered wanting to be as good as him one day (But— I still have a loooong way to go |D)

5. When I was in kinder, they hired a tricycle driver to take me to and from school. To this day, despite not seeing him for years, he still remembers me (lola says each time they happen to bump into each other he asks how I am, that’s very sweet of him!)

6. …Grandma put up her house for sale :’D

White: 3 facts about my personality

1. I get sad very easily, but at the same time the smallest things can cheer me right back up.

2. I rant a lot and it’s a habit I want to kick out. After each rant I have this tendency to think “Wow things could be so much worse, so suck it up and stop complaining” I can’t help but feel guilty-

3. I really dislike people seeing me angry. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I think it’s been a very long time since I’ve been full-blown infuriated and I’d like to leave it that way-

[bottledstardusts]

You're a really great person ok--- I feel guilty that i was a bitch to you in the past and im really sorry but i dont remember if i ever told you that??? because i had an issue with you and some other people....i wish we could bond more and i miss you and i just feel really guilty that i probably stress you out when im around and im sorry; i know you work really hard in college and i really am so proud of you i just hope you get the peace of mind you deserve bc ur really great and im sorry :(

dear anon- you don’t have to be sorry about that! You feel what you feel and chances are maybe I deserved to be thought of that way esp if I was being awful. If I stress out about you chances are the things you worry about are the things I’m worrying about for you too— so don’t worry too much because once you feel better I’ll feel better too! Thank you tho- I’m not sure about being great, but I’m trying my best to work my issues out and move on— I hope you do the same because you deserve to be happy!!

[bottledstardusts]

You little SnK 'friendly' reminder shit is not ok! What made you think that was ok?!

ah yes, I’ve been wondering why that was going around again—-

Yes indeed it was not okay—-

but lets say you really love certain characters-

and then they painfully die

and then you go into an emotional turmoil

that’s exactly what happened to me: An emotional break down

So, my dear anon, I decided that if I’m going down— I’m dragging the rest of you with me

(AKA: It was my way of dealing with the pain)

[bottledstardusts]

@!?

/COVERS FACE

ur the sweetest okay??? thank you/////