#emily replies

[emilylaj]

intersex people do NOT fall under the trans umbrella.

Anon is referring to this post on Twitter where @/Nicomander posted some of my Ghost Pride Icons for Trans Awareness Week and included intersex as under the Trans Umbrella. 

[ID: Happy #TransAwarenessWeek to all my mutuals who fall under the trans identity umbrella and any trans person who may see this. Your experience with your gender and who you are is completely valid no matter what anyone says and hope you all have a great week.]

I never stated that intersex was under the Trans Umbrella because I am cis so I had no right to claim anything is under the Trans Umbrella. And when I saw intersex included in the Twitter post I had no right to doubt it. So, after receiving your message Anon, I did my research and found the two articles below.

https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2018/10/its-intersex-awareness-day-here-are-5-myths-we-need-to-shatter/

“Myth 4: Intersex people are transgender.

Being intersex has nothing to do with being transgender.

Our physical sexual characteristics have nothing to do with how we consider our gender identity, or with who we are attracted to.

The word “transgender” – or trans – is an umbrella term for people whose gender identity is different from the sex they were assigned at birth. The word “intersex” relates to physical sexual characteristics, and not to an internal sense of identity. An intersex person may also identify as trans, but they are separate things, because gender and sex are separate.

An intersex person may be straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual or asexual, and may identify as female, male, both or neither.

Both intersex and trans people have the right to choose their own gender identity, and should never be forced to live with bodies or identities they do not feel comfortable with.”

https://transstudent.org/about/definitions/

“INTERSEX

Describing a person with a less common combination of hormones, chromosomes, and anatomy that are used to assign sex at birth. There are many examples such as Klinefelter Syndrome, Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, and Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia. Parents and medical professionals usually coercively assign intersex infants a sex and have, in the past, been medically permitted to perform surgical operations to conform the infant’s genitalia to that assignment. This practice has become increasingly controversial as intersex adults speak out against the practice. The term intersex is not interchangeable with or a synonym for transgender (although some intersex people do identify as transgender).”

So, I don’t know if the Twitter post was including intersex to acknowledge that some intersex people are also trans or it was trying to say that intersex is related to transgender, which I learned from these articles it is not.

Anyone who is intersex please tell me how you feel about this post. I very much value your input, whether by anonymous message or a reblog to this post.

[1spoonatatime]

Thank you so much for answering, I feel pretty alone with this pain as most people just tell me to be strong. I've made an appointment with a psychiatrist to have some medicine for when I get too worked up. I think the worst feeling it's the feeling of always waking up hoping it'll go away and then I take a deep breath and it's still there.

Of course! I know people mean well, but it’s okay to vent and be frustrated and sad or angry sometimes, too. That appointment sounds like a good idea.

I know that I was told at the ER when I was first diagnosed made it sound as if it was something that would go away. I do think that’s the case for some people, but not everyone, unfortunately. It’s hard to think about facing the day with any sort of chronic pain sometimes. Just take things one day at a time and do the best you can. Sending lots of love your way.

[purrincess-chat]

What do you think of Chloe as a character? Do you think she should/could get redeemed? What do you think of her possible past and backstory? Do you feel sorry for her?

Tbh, before we learned that Chloe was for sure getting a Miraculous, I was kinda meh about her. I’m all for good redemption arcs, but I didn’t personally care if she just stayed the mean girl the whole time. But since she is getting one, I kind of expect her to step up? Cause if she doesn’t then wtf?

What do I think of her past? Eh. Sure, her mom leaving when she was young was probably rough, but that doesn’t give her a right to be a cold-hearted bitch? It’s not exactly an excuse in my book, and she shouldn’t be excused from her awful behavior for that fact alone. If Chloe is going to be redeemed, I want her to work for it. I want her to acknowledge that who she is now is problematic, but that she doesn’t have to stay that way. I don’t want her past behavior to be erased or completely forgiven because “wahhh her mommy left her, so sad. She deserves the world even though she literally goes out of her way to be mean to everyone. On purpose. But her past is sad, so all of her behavior wasn’t that bad because she’s a tragic character.” No. She needs to own up for what she’s done because actions have consequences. Your past doesn’t always have to limit you, but it will always be a part of who you are. People can change, sure, but the hurt you inflict isn’t always forgiven because you say your sorry. Damage isn’t always reversed because you stop picking on someone. I think anyone who has been bullied can attest that they still carry emotional trauma and insecurities from childhood bullies. I do. 

Do I feel sorry for her? Not really. Something sad happened to her, big whoop. There are plenty of people out in the world with similar situations that didn’t turn out like her. I knew plenty of really nice people with divorced parents. I knew plenty of really mean people with two happy parents. How people choose to handle difficult times proves the kind of character they have underneath, and truthfully, Chloe hasn’t done a great job gaining empathy for her situation in my book at this point. “She’s just a kid” By the age of 14-15, I knew pretty well that behavior like that wasn’t acceptable and that it can cause lasting damage on people because I saw it happen to a lot of my friends. Those of us that had depression and anxiety from people treating us like Chloe treats her classmates. Those of us that still do, years later. Just because she is a “child”, doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be held accountable for her actions. 14-15 is old enough to be tried as an adult in certain instances. 14-15 year olds aren’t as clueless and kiddy as people like to think they are. In fact, a lot of them are very woke. Behavior like that leaves scars, and I sincerely hope that if the writers have any inkling of what it’s like to be on the receiving end of people like her, that they touch on that in her redemption. Because it will be and likely is the reality for a lot of kids watching. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good Chloe redemption, and I think it can be done well. I have written my fair share of them, and even came up with a flipping formula for how I usually go about it. But redemption for characters like her needs to take time and needs to be done carefully. I’ll be watching her growth closely, and down the road when we see what she becomes, I’ll for sure share my thoughts about it and whether I feel it was just.

[ceaselessims]

@theriverscribe replied to your post: One Final Ingredient 

I AM HERE FOR ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!

want some more? cause these were ingredients for closing the gates of heaven, and if Castiel gets all of the ingredients, that likely means he won’t EVER be returning to heaven. he’ll choose to stay with the Big W’s without access to heaven, and from what’s implied from The End, that means eventually Cas will phase into Human once again!

[yoshi1799]

Are self-dx autsitics able to join the discord? I'm wanting to join, but I'm a self-dx going for a pro-dx :0

Of course, dude! All autistic people, self-dx or professionally-dx, are welcome on the discord chat!! For everyone who wants the link, here it is https://discord.gg/zxeWfz

[tr3velyan]

elgbro replied to your post “ok but for real, y’all are SLEEPING on craig cahn. yeah i get it he’s...”

Nobody is sleeping on him, he's like the second most popular dad after Robert. If anything, people are sleeping on Hugo and Brian

i’m just speaking in terms of what i see on my dash, and I mostly see people focused on robert, damien, and joseph. (edit: and mat!) but of course I could be wrong! (I wonder if there’s stats anywhere about which dads have the most plays? though a lot of people are just playing everyone so that might not help.) I definitely agree that people are neglecting Hugo though, his route is so adorable and I love him.

[cainhurstcastle]

@senpaicapone YES

[1spoonatatime]

Hi, I was checking posts about costochondritis and I saw yours and I was wondering if maybe you could help me a little. Mine started a few months ago at first it didn't feel as bad but somedays are rougher now, laying on my side hurts because of my breast. I've had check ups on my breasts done because I was terrified and I sometimes still am. I've been sedated cause I keep thinking I have a tumor pressing on me. Could you give me some guidance? I've had pain all over my back and armpits as well

Hey friend! First off, sorry you have to deal with it in the first place, I know it sucks.

For me, I haven’t noticed too many patterns around my costochondritis (which I’ll refer to as ‘costo’) pain other than that it may be worse in the winter and when I’m particularly stressed. However, if you’re able to find patterns/triggers, that can be helpful. Even if you can’t avoid the triggers, you may be able to prepare for the pain mentally and physically if you know it’s likely coming.

I know how scary the pain can feel, especially when it’s sharp and sudden and literally takes your breath away. NSAIDs (Advil, etc.) can be useful to dull the pain, and Diclofenac (which is a prescription NSAID that’s stronger than Advil) cream or oral medications can also be helpful, and you could maybe ask your doctor about that if it’s something you haven’t tried. Heat can sometimes be soothing, too, so maybe try a heating pad. I’ve also found a pain cream that helps me, called Penetrex (can be found on Amazon or in Walmart; it’s a little pricey for the size, but one tub has lasted me for years), and I slather it on my chest/ribs/back (since the pain is in your ribs, it can be under your armpits and your back as well, so I think that’s fairly normal). It has a menthol sort of smell, but it doesn’t bother me too too much.

If you’ve been checked up on by your doctor and know that the issue is costo and not something else, try to do what you can to calm your body when you start feeling the pain. I always roll my eyes when people suggest meditation can cure my pain, because it won’t, but if you’re able to take some slow, deep breaths and relax as best you can (difficult when you feel like you’re being stabbed in the chest, I know), that can be really helpful. Decreasing that ‘fight or flight’ panicky feeling is useful, because being panicked can make the pain worse, and it’s a sucky feedback loop of ‘my pain is bad and that makes me panic, and my panic makes my pain worse.’ If you find that you are really, really anxious about it still, maybe talk to your doctor about coping methods, their suggestions, and/or an as-needed anxiety medication.

A quick note: costo is often associated with connective tissue conditions, such as EDS (Ehlers Danlos Syndrome). Not everyone with costo has EDS and not everyone with EDS has costo, but it may be something to look into if you haven’t already.

I hope that this is at least a little helpful for you, and I hope your costo pain eases up soon!