#emotionificationing

[cairovercoat]

hi, i need somebody to vent to and i realize you're probably not expecting something like this r/n, but you come off as a really trustworthy person and you're also very helpful. i'll keep this brief, though: i'm straight, but i have a girlfriend. she's my best friend, and she asked me out. i didn't want to hurt her feelings, and at the time, i was questioning my heterosexuality. i just feel awful about the ordeal, and i don't want to upset her, but i want to be content as well. what do i do?

I think it would be best if you were very frank with her about your sexuality and explained all this to her forthright. 

If you stay in this relationship, the guilt and awful feelings will keep spiraling down and down and down. If you’re absolutely positive that you’re straight, or mostly straight, it seems inevitable that the relationship will become strained. I understand that you care for your friend a lot, that you don’t want to hurt her, let her down, or risk alienating her, but it can’t go on like this. You’ll be miserable, and the longer you wait to explain this to her the more miserable she will feel when she finds out. 

I think you've realized all of this.

But you have to, you absolutely HAVE to just…do it. No matter how nervous or horrible you feel, sit her down and tell her everything you just told me. Explain that you were conflicted and didn’t want to disappoint her. Apologize, if you feel like it’s necessary. The sooner, the better. You two are obviously very close, so I’m certain that she will  respect you and whatever decision you decide to make. And trust me when I say that you will feel SO MUCH BETTER after letting it out. Trust me. 

Good Luck!

[cairovercoat]

I'm sorry, I really wish I could stay up later to listen and talk with you guys, but I've got to get to bed. I promise I'll answer other messages in the morning, okay? 

Goodnight, guys. 

[cairovercoat]

My father consistently calls me the problem his household is falling apart and I'm usually the one that gets yelled at if anything bed happens, and I don't feel safe enough at my mother's house to go to sleep at night. I'm 15, and I honestly plan on running away if I can find a place to stay.

Do you have any adult figure you can trust? A relative, a school counselor, even just a teacher you have a personal relationship with? Try approaching them. If you're really going through something so terrible that you feel like you need to get out, the first thing you should try to do is get as many adults on your side as possible. It's so, so difficult telling people about things like this, even writing it down and handing it to people, it's just...so hard, but  if there's anyone you can tell, tell them. They might be able to help you get out. If you really feel like there's nobody, try to hold on. I don't know the particulars of your situation, or exactly how grave it is, but running away is a very serious choice and you should carefully consider your options before opting for that. I really wish you good luck, okay? And I'm always here if you need to talk to me, just shoot me a message.

[cairovercoat]

My mom has a short temper. Also I don't have the best grades ( and general history with school ) so she doesn't have much faith in me at all. If I were to be kidnapped, she'd be more mad at me for letting myself get kidnapped than mad at the napper for taking me.

She has no idea what she's doing. She is not treating you the way you should be treated. There is no reason why your history with school should make you any less deserving of love and respect. Remember that. And know that you'll be able to leave her behind you and surround yourself with people who will honestly love you for who you are.

[cairovercoat]

my mum lies to everyone about how she treats me and how i treat her and why my dad left. she can be incredibly emotionally abusive but some days she isn't at all and it kills me waiting for the days where i can't even be around

Hold onto that day in the future where you can get the HELL away from her and everything she has said to you and done to you and surround yourself with people who will respect you and love you and give you the emotional support you need and deserve. Because those people are out there. They really, truly, are. Remember this. Keep it in the back of your mind, always. When she starts on you again, hold it and repeat it and believe it with absolute conviction, because it’s TRUE. And if you ever need to talk, I'm here.

[cairovercoat]

My relationship with my parents fluctuates from day to day and year to year. A couple years ago I found this thing in a self help book about different kinds of listening, and I showed it to them, trying to explain that sometimes I wasn't looking for advice or a life-lesson, I was just looking for someone to listen to a problem I might have. They became very angry, said that was selfish, and to this day haven't really let me live it down. I still don't talk to them about any personal problems.

That's exactly what I'm talking about.

I'm really sorry that your parents reacted that way. I'm really, really sorry that they have become people who will not, and cannot, be there for you in that respect. Just know that there are so many others in this world who can fill that place. You are not alone.

[cairovercoat]

so first of all... im a spoiled child, i wont deny it. but whenever i happen to break down crying my parents completely ignore me and say things to make it worse. If i told them im broken inside, they wouldnt believe me and label it as complete BS and have before . They never listen to what i truly have to say.

One again, I must say: Even though it is your RIGHT to receive that respect from your parents, and they have not treated you the way you should be treated, know that there are countless others who WILL give you that respect and unconditional love. Stay strong, okay?

[cairovercoat]

i think i understand how passionately you feel about this, so i wanted to ask: do you think that in those types of situations that there is any hope of keeping a connection? i'm almost positive that people have told me about getting along better with their parents as they age; do you think that could apply here?

It’s definitely possible.

A lot can happen over the course of many years. People are given a chance to reflect on their past actions, and change themselves for the better. Everyone changes, really.