#empty-rhetoric

[markovchaingang]

men and women are not opposites. men and women are not enemies. men and women are two parts of a broad coalition which fights against a mutual enemy: inkjet printers

[markovchaingang]

internet user: "people in real life: hey man hows it going"

people in real life: did you know the witch burnings were actually just the church getting rid of the last surviving atlanteans? i saw it on a tiktok

[markovchaingang]

RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER:

my daughter cannot, through action or inaction, harm a human or allow a human to come to harm

a daughter at rest or in constant motion remains at rest or in constant motion unless acted upon by another force

daughters are never created or destroyed, only transformed

always treat every daughter as loaded, even if you know she isn't

you do not talk about my daughter

[markovchaingang]

(in sex ed class) this is stupid when are we ever gonna need to use this lol

[markovchaingang]

i've seen things you people are probably already familiar with

[markovchaingang]

sorry man i can't give you a handjob. it's proprietary and has too many compatability issues. but i can use LibreJerk, which is like an open source alternative and it's just as good

[markovchaingang]

you guys do realise walking doesn't actually move you anywhere right? it just destroys you entirely and places a perfect copy of you right in front of where you were standing

[markovchaingang]

whatever. *floats ur boat*