#en103

[tuerv103-blog]

Intro Draft #1!

Here’s the beginning of my first intro. I think it works for now.

“My life was never filled with a story as particularly gory and traumatic as the tale of Bluebeard. I have no closets full of dead wives, magical bloody keys, or homicidal husbands. However, I have let my curiosity get the better of me at times.  I’ve never discovered anything nearly as terrible as what the younger sister finds in her husband’s closet, but I’ve definitely run into my fair share of trouble for my curiosity.  Thankfully, as the younger sister found out, I usually have someone looking out for me enough to pull me away from this trouble.”

[myinfinitummundum-blog]

My Growth Through EN 103

When you are a freshman in college, I think one of the most intimidating classes to take is probably the one you have taken most often in all your years of school: English. English should be easy, right? We started learning the subject way back in third grade. But the intimidation factor kicks in when you get to college because you realize that however you right papers in this class is probably how you will write them for the rest of your college career. Aka, if you don’t make the proper changes and fix your writing style now while in the class, you may have an extremely difficult time writing cohesive, functional papers in whatever subject classes you take. Personally, my own experience in English classes have not been a cakewalk. I have always been fairly decent at putting together papers that get across the point and purpose. Until I reached advanced placement English in my last year of high school. 

That class was by far the hardest class I have ever taken and my first B in English. My teacher was harsh and only appreciated papers that saw things her way. 

This left a bad taste in my mouth as far as English classes went. I was especially apprehensive about a college English course, because if it was anything like my AP class, which was supposed to mirror a college course, then I thought I was screwed. Fortunately, this semester with Miss Bone in English 103 exceeded my expectations. This class was engaging, meaningful, and still managed to improve my writing in important ways. Not only did it strengthen my ability to develop a quality thesis in a paper, but it gave me practice in using the proper organization in to support my theses. This class also, with its focus on the intersects of Asian culture in America, really gave me a strong knowledge base on interesting facts having to do with asian countries, something I knew almost nothing about before. I do know that my writing style is still far from perfect, especially when it comes to implementing my own voice in papers, but overall I believe that I have improved as a writer and this class has a lot to do with that. Hopefully I can build from the things I have learned in English 103 this semester and continue to grow as a writer and as a person.

Developing theses in papers from the git-go was a challenge for me. Often what happens is I develop a number of different ideas for one paper topic and am unsure of how to shrink that into one, cohesive paper argument. I lose sight of my argument when writing the rest of the paper, and forget to always draw my focus back to the thesis. 

This weakens my thesis, and makes my argument or point of the paper less convincing and clear. I had the toughest time with this on the second paper we wrote, the critique paper. This paper was written about appropriation, based off of a movie I was assigned to watch. It was difficult to come up with a sophisticated thesis that was not just “My Name is Khan properly uses appropriation.” Instead, I made my thesis “The movie tackles these uncomfortable subjects bravely and preaches cultural understanding; and while these topics certainly prevail in everyday U.S. society, the film’s overt expression of them and extreme cultural stereotypes shown make for a fascinating yet slightly over-the-top film” (“Khan” 1). I think I had a good idea for the thesis, but because I could only watch the movie once, I had a very hard time organizing my thoughts on the movie in order to support my thesis and make it stronger. My brain was just...

As Miss Bone pointed out, “Without that strong thesis, the evidence and structure felt unfocused” (Bone “Khan” 1). Not being able to develop strong theses and support them properly has to be one of the most frustrating things when writing a paper. It makes you second guess everything you write after the thesis, and if your thesis ends up not being well written, then the rest of your paper is basically garbage as well. 

I struggled with how to improve on this, until I reached the research paper. In this paper, it was much easier to develop a thesis and support it because we had to do everything on our own. We basically had the opportunity to write about what we wanted to write about, and research our own evidence to support our thesis. I found this much easier and more interesting to successfully complete. I got to choose a topic I liked, and make an argument that I genuinely believed in. My thesis development improved, and I wrote “Through examining both the structure and history behind Asian school systems and comparing them to the already flawed system in the U.S., clear differences surface,” and I concluded that “this will prove why imitating countries like China and Singapore is not the optimal solution for American educational improvement” (“Reform” 1). This essay was much easier to support, and on one peer review I received the comment “Honestly all of your evidence was relevant and strong relating back to your thesis. Everything supported your position and I don't think you can improve it other than by creating more evidence” (Newhall “Reform” 1).

While my thesis in the research paper was definitely stronger, I had a lot of issues in dealing with the organization. There was so much information on education reform in the United States and the education system in Asian countries. This lead me back to the problem with having too many ideas on one subject and having a hard time narrowing it down to directly relate to my thesis. I was able to pick just a few points that I thought had the most effect in adding credibility to my argument, but putting them in an order that was logical and added strength to my thesis most effectively was a really hard task to accomplish. In my first final draft of the research essay, my organization was lacking and it took away from the believability of my argument. I knew when I turned it in that it was not the best it could be, which was extremely frustrating. I needed major help in fixing it though. When I met with Miss Bone for my paper conference, she confirmed a lot of the issues that I felt that I had with my paper. She simply told me that “[my] organization could use some refinement” (Bone “Reform”). I knew this, but I had to figure out how to rearrange my points so that there would be a build to my strongest arguments and my paper did not die down at the end. 

To fix this problem, I basically cut all my paragraphs apart, and kept rearranging them until the order flowed most logically and supported my argument most cohesively. It took a lot of time and effort to do this, and there were many times where I just wanted to give up and leave the paper the way I had it. But I was very determined to receive a better grade through my revision, and so I kept at it until I felt like it made the most sense (which ended up being literally five minutes before the turn in deadline). I hope that my organization in this essay was improved, because it took me days to put it in an order that I felt was most effective. Organization is difficult for me because I write essays generally the way I think, and in the order in which ideas come to me. This order is often extremely sporadic, because I tend to be pretty frazzled when writing essays. My brain would be the one on the right:

This is something that I think has improved a lot in this class simply with practice in writing. Knowing that I will spend many many more years writing papers, I took advantage of this class as my opportunity to improve that about myself. What I enjoyed improving most in this class was my general knowledge base about Asian culture. I come from a fairly diverse area, and had childhood friends who were Japanese and Vietnamese, however, I had never thought about how much I really did not know about Asian culture and traditions. I think that through our conversations, movie watching, YouTube video watching, and tumblr research in class, my awareness of both appropriation and Asian culture has grown. This can be seen through my tumblr posts pretty clearly. In the beginning of my tumblr blog, most of my posts are fairly superficial, surrounding the topics of food, or clothing. As we talked more about Asian countries, artists, culture, and issues in class, I got more interested and started researching a little bit more prior to making my blog posts. My favorite posts included the post I did on Lee Michele, who “[struggled] as a little girl growing up as a race that is not accepted or appreciated in Korea” (“Lee Michele” n.p.). It was so fascinating to learn about another person’s racial oppression that was very parallel to what is experienced in the United States. 

Watching shows like Running Man and writing about them was also exciting. The show “takes on an over-exuberant less serious competition style like that of Big Brother or MTV’s the Challenge, without having the reality piece of the group living in one house together” (“Running Man” n.p.). I thought it was cool that the show was very similar to other competition shows here in America. But it was so different that, if you are not used to the style of it, you may have found it a little cheesy and silly, like I did. Overall, I appreciated the experience of learning about the vast and various cultures of different Asian countries; it made this class very exciting and more engaging than simply writing essays about any topic. While I did improve slightly on things like thesis development and organization, and am a much more culturally aware person due to this class, something I still struggle with and probably always will is the use of voice in my papers. Coming from a very strict AP English class last year, it was almost reflex for me to write in a very mechanical, clinical matter. That is what became comfortable for me, and what became easy to do. After doing that for so long, it is so incredibly hard for me to add my own voice and personality into my papers. I hate that. No one enjoys reading a paper, no matter how factual or credible, when there is no personality to it. My papers often sound like they came from a machine, and I am having a very difficult tim fixing that. I do not know how to make my essays more conversational and less stiff. Especially essays that include loads of factual evidence. 

On my summary essay in the very beginning of the year, Miss Bone commented that she wished “[my] voice had been more present; [the paper] felt a bit mechanical” (Bone “Peyton Knop”). Even more so, in my eight page research paper, my voice was nearly non-existent. Especially since we had just done a voice exercise in class, it should have been much easier for me to lessen up on the rigid voice I normally use in my papers. But it was not. Miss Bone’s comments on that paper included things like “this piece still read as being a bit mechanical,” and “there is nothing wrong with the writing, per say, but I would like to see you try to add more personality - more ‘you’ - to this paper” (Bone “Reform”). 

This was still hard for me to fix because I am more comfortable not putting my personality in papers. It is hard to change a habit like that that you have practiced for so long, but it is something that I know I absolutely need to work on. I think doing more casual papers like this one, will surely help with that. This class has been a majorly beneficial one, for more reasons than just having to do with writing. 

 I know I still have a lot of growing to do as a writer, but this class made me very aware of the issues I have within my writing, and hopefully I can work on finding ways to fix this. As I continue to take literature and writing classes (not too thrilled about that) I want to definitely continue to develop improved skills in thesis development, organization, and use of voice. English 103 this semester without a doubt put me on the right track to do so. Thanks Miss Bone! 

[porcelaintowerofpower-blog]

Fin.

It is with great joy and sadness that I begin what will be my last ever EN 103 blog post. It makes me glad to clear up my finals schedule, but oh so sad that I will never again know the joy of our EN 103 shenanigans.  However, all must good things must come to an end, and I must say that I’m definitely better of for having taken this class. My writing has improved greatly over only one semester. Specifically, I find that I’ve improved the most in my cultural awareness, depth of analysis, and use of writer’s voice. I certainly still have areas I need to work on, but the progress I’ve made is apparent.

The first area where I believe I’ve experienced the most improvement is in my cultural awareness. When I enrolled in my section of the class, I was honestly unaware (like most) that the section had any sort of topic, let alone one that would change my perspective so drastically. It’s easiest to see the progress I’ve made through my previous Tumblr posts. I even remember when I wrote, “I was surprised to hear mentions of American basketball in the Chinese documentary I watched, as I was totally unaware that basketball was a popular sport in China”(“January 28” n.p.). My lack of understanding here was evident partially in a lack of knowledge, but the true basis of my shortcoming was in my rather ethnocentric perspective. I was not wrong in saying I was surprised. However, I was surprised because I had never actually taken the time to consider athleticism well outside of American culture. I began the semester with a lack of information and a flawed point of view.  This even came up partially in my very first essay. Although the topic was a summary of someone else’s culture, my own cultural misunderstandings came to the surface. In “Culture Summary” (my titles improved as well I promise), I wrote “Andie Coombs was born in Canada to a very Canadian family” (“Culture Summary” 1). First, I would like to apologize on behalf of the January version of John Frank who thought it would be insightful to describe Canadians as “very Canadian”. Not only does this statement explain almost nothing, it demonstrates a very superficial understanding of Canadian culture and the foundations of culture itself. On the more optimistic end, I can use this as a fine example of my initial, low-level cultural awareness. Thankfully, this problem was remedied over the semester.  My later Tumblr posts were far more informed and culturally conscious.  About halfway through the blogging process, my progress was at least partially evident. I posted that “It astounds me to think of all the influences from Asian culture I simply took as American during my younger years” (“February 28” n.p.). Here, it was at least somewhat evident that I was beginning to notice things I had not seen before. A large part of cultural awareness is simply noticing appropriations and misappropriations when they appear. Throughout the semester, I was beginning to do this more and more. Eventually the appearance of cultural appropriations was completely natural and automatic to me, where once it had not even been a consideration. My most recent blog post included the bold claim when referring to Big Hero 6 that “The movie itself was obviously ripe with appropriation from Japanese culture” (“Big Hero 6” Strength). Maybe I could have eased up on the tone here (time to keep the cultural awareness ego in check), but I wasn’t wrong in any way. The film itself had very intentional, noticeable appropriation, and I could not simply ignore it with my newly heighted sense of cultural awareness. The change also became apparent in my written essay assignments.  One specific example includes the following quote:

 Walt Disney loved to integrate foreign cultures into his work, but all of his character portrayals were distinctly American. Even the most distant foreign characters reflected beliefs and personalities of American youth. (“Two Animators: Drawn Differently” 5).

 I told you that my title selection got better (I’m proud of that one).  This quote is a more accurate representation of my current, advanced state of cultural awareness. Not only was I aware of Disney’s appropriations, I was able to take the analysis a step further.  I was able to recognize the failure of his appropriations utilizing both my knowledge of other cultures with relation to my own and the components of a true and successful appropriation. Whereas at the beginning of the semester I couldn’t even give a definition of the word appropriation in cultural context, now I can examine the validity of an appropriation critically and effectively. This, however, is only the first area I have improved in during my time in EN 103.

           The next area in which I feel that I have drastically improved in through this class is depth of analysis. Honestly, the previous quotes all provide good evidence so I think that I’ll just move on. …Just kidding, I won’t make the paper that boring for you. I now realize that my methods of analysis at the beginning of the semester were superficial and didn’t actually reveal much about the subject matter they pertained to. Some of my first blog posts seem to set the direct precedent for this type of crime. Once, when referring to snowman in the US and Japan, I posted that “It’s interesting to see how something so minute has developed so differently across the Pacific” (“February 8” n.p.). This sort of analysis is so superficial it’s barely analysis. Essentially, I had just restated the subject of my discussion, rather than revealing any sort of pertinent information in my writing.  Actually, this was one of my largest problems when I began the class. I had a tendency to summarize when I should have been analyzing and analyzing when I should have been critiquing. At our first meeting, in late January I believe, you claimed something very similar about my critique paper. Falling just shallow of the depth I wished to reach was a significant symptom of my limited writing skills (thankfully it wasn’t terminal). I didn’t realize just how much cringing this assignment would induce when I began, but I’m glad to say I’ve come a long way.  On my research paper, although I had much to work on, you said that you “thought I had some really interesting ideas”  and that you “like the way my introduction sets up the paper” (Bone “Two Animators: Drawn Differently” 1). I believe it was at that point in my paper writing that I finally understood the depth I needed to achieve and exactly how to get there. My organization certainly needed some work, but the deep thoughts were there.  The progress made itself visible in my blog posts as well. My latest post contained the sentence: “From a broader perspective, I also thought the film had some interesting points on the future of robotics (which Japan is a leader in, of course)” (“Big Hero 6” n.p.). It may have taken all semester, but I finally achieved the level of depth that allowed me to share new information. Rather than simply commenting on the plot of the movie, I was able to examine an underlying theme that many other people may not have noticed. Now, I better have the ability to extend beyond the subject matter into my own perspective, making my voice known.

           That brings my to my last major area of improvement: writer’s voice. Demonstrating the writer’s own voice comes from tone, formality, and direct explication of personal ideas. At the start, my writing was fairly robotic. In a lot of ways it still is, but now I like to think of myself as the friendly and quirky “Chappie” type of robot. My very first blog post ended as follows:

 The plight of the family reminded me of a Great Depression American family. Is this the result of a Communist China? Or am I simply biased against that political ideology so much that I race to blame it? (“Last Train Home” n.p.).

 Although here, the John Frank 1.0 prototype seems to be showing some signs of higher intelligence, we can’t tell if it actually processes it’s own opinions yet. The questions left open at the end of the post hint at some sort of personal though and analysis, but really they are as indifferent as an empty Google search bar. There’s no sincere personal relation made to keep the reader engaged. The problem even persisted into my later papers. When we met in late March to discuss my first research paper submission, you warned me against the evils of not following a quote with personal explanation. How ironic would it be if I stopped there? Anyway, you correctly showed me how allowing a quote to “speak for itself” doesn’t actually make the quote any stronger, it just removes your voice from the paper which leads to confusion and boredom in the reader. Eventually, my operating system got upgraded and I figured out how to make myself heard in my own writing. On tumblr, this was again evident in my most recent post (which I tried not to overuse, but it really is a culmination of my learning).  The post began by saying,

 Maybe I was just ecstatic to be watching a movie during class, but I actually loved Big Hero 6. I didn’t know until the hilarious Stan Lee references that the movie was based on a Marvel comic book plot, but found the story touching and captivating.

(“Big Hero 6” n.p.).

 Could a robot write that? Well, a highly functioning one could, yes, but the point is that my own opinions were finally beginning to come forth in my writing. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that it took the better part of a semester for this to happen on a blog (where self-expression is the goal), but am grateful that I eventually managed to understand the necessary improvement here from work done in and out of class.

           Although I’ve shown the areas where I have improved, I definitely still have a long way to go. First of all, my practical application of the revision process needs work. I have a tendency to try and make the rough draft as close to the final draft as I possibly can. The result, rather than a clean rough draft, is a vast amount of time spent staring at a blank word document. It would be far more efficient for me to actually get the words onto paper before examining them so critically. Many of the mistakes that I make in my writing are difficult to dissect in my mind alone. Secondly, while I’ve learned how to obtain and share deep opinions about my subject, I need to improve upon my written development of these ideas. My natural tendency is to assume that the reader knows what I’m thinking, when in actuality, I sometimes don’t even know what I’m thinking. I’ll be able to deliver my message more effectively if I clearly explain my understanding and any underlying assumptions. Lastly, although it isn’t difficult for me to acquire a solid thesis, it is rather tough for me to make it obvious. Hopefully here you found my thesis more easily (and the three points it contained). Having a good thesis is wonderful, but if I can’t convey it clearly to the reader it’s pointless.

           I can honestly say that EN 103 has been and always will be one of my most memorable freshman classes. Not only am I grateful for the large strides I’ve made in my writing skillset, I am also thankful for the friendly, welcoming, and fun atmosphere I found in the class that encouraged me to work for improvement and stay sane during freshman year. It almost makes me sad that I’ll never have another English course again (a feeling which I fear will only be compounded by next year’s engineering courses). Miss Bone, you should look into advertising with the Honors College because when I reflect on how our class was I simply think, “This is how college is meant to be”.

 Word Count: 2034

 Works Cited

 Strength, John Frank. “Culture Summary.” EN 103. Tuscaloosa, AL: The University of Alabama, 2015. Print.

--. “Two Animators: Drawn Differently.” EN 103. Tuscaloosa, AL: The University of Alabama, 2015. Print.

 Strength, John Frank. “Big Hero 6.” PorcelainTowerofPower. Tumblr. Jan. 2015. 29 Apr. 2015

--. “January 28.” PorcelainTowerofPower. Tumblr. Jan. 2015. 29 Apr. 2015

--. “February 28” PorcelainTowerofPower. Tumblr. Jan. 2015. 29 Apr. 2015

--. “February 8” PorcelainTowerofPower. Tumblr. Jan. 2015. 29 Apr. 2015

[jakebruno15-blog]

Over the semester, I must admit that I never was able to improve my development of ideas within paragraphs. It never failed; in every conference I had with Ms. Bone, she would continue to tell me the same thing. She would say that I have good ideas, but I need to develop them and explain them more. It would never fail. Every time. Every single time. I guess this is one of this things that I just need to continue to work on. In the comments on my last assignment these were her exact words, “You have great ideas, but the ideas are not translating to the written page” (Bone “American Influence on Korean Pop Culture” 8). I hope that this assignment shows that I have improved in this category, but knowing my recent history on the subject, I probably am still not forming a paragraph which is cohesive and coherent. However, I feel that in this assignment, it is easier for me to write and express my ideas. An assignment which has a set structure and a hard topic like the ones earlier this semester (except for the summary paper) make it harder for me to develop an idea and express it. As I continue to grow as a writer, I know that idea development will continue to become easier for me. I have to be persistent and push myself to be more creative in my writing. Luckily for me, there is not many writing courses left for me in my degree. I think I may only have one, if that. I must be honest and say that not having to take but one english course may have influenced my choice of major. I am more of a math and science person. I believe this has a lot to do with why I struggle with idea development within paragraphs. I like to stick to set structures and rules. With writing, it is more of a do what sounds right rather than follow a set of rules or patterns and produce an answer. Following a set of rules or equations and producing an answer is something that comes easy for me, where as idea development in a paragraph is something that I struggle with. I know that as I continue to write, I will become better at this key skill and eventually have no trouble forming a paragraph which flows smoothly.

[ssnewhall-blog]

Final Reflection

Throughout the entire spring semester, my writing ability has grown tremendously. Entering my freshmen year of college, I was not confident in my ability to write a paper. Now, after months of improvement, I see areas I have grown in and also areas that need development. Three areas I have grown in while under the supervision of Miss Bone are cultural awareness, sentence structure, and the use of punctuation. Because of this course, I am all around more conscious of cultural aspects- both locally and internationally. Also, prior to this class, my sentences followed one very simple, specific structure. Now, I am able to execute multiple types of sentences, which add personality and a unique tone to my writing. A portion of my writing that still needs plenty of progress is my use and explanation of evidence. I am able to convey the evidence, but I fail to tie it back into my thesis to complete my argument.

At the beginning of the semester, I was not completely confident in explaining what defines culture. Our first assignment, the summary paper, helped introduce culture to me by using a classmate as an in-depth example. I learned that culture has different aspects such as location, music, food, religion, language, and ancestry. I exercised the ability of cultural awareness all semester with my Tumblr posts. I learned about appropriation and how to determine whether an adoption of culture is appropriation or misappropriation. Throughout history, many appropriations can be seen and cultural sharing is introduced. Sports are a popular option for cultural sharing- martial arts, baseball, and basketball are a few that come to mind. In one of my Tumblr posts, I said “Jackie Chan popularized martial arts as a sport and martial art based movies in American entertainment. He along with Bruce Lee together revolutionized the way we view martial arts as a sport. I do not think the sport would be as popular as it is today if it were not for these two men” (Entry 16 n.p.). I did not notice the impact these two men had on martial arts in America until I was more aware of culture. Another popular sport in Asia, baseball, is actually very much alive in the Asian youth. I explained how “Asian countries are also very interested in the sport of baseball, especially Japan. Baseball is an American-made sport that Japan has taken from us and adopted as a sport in their country” (Entry 17 n.p.). This is an example of cultural sharing that I would not have realized until this semester. I learned that other cultures can take parts of American culture and introduce it to their society. Baseball in Asia is a prime example of this. Lastly, a third sport erupted in the 1990’s as Asian athletes were being drafted in the National Basketball Association- the dominant basketball league in the United States. Basketball, created by Dr. James Naismith, is an American-made sport that has caused recent attention in China. The most notable Asian basketball player is “Yao Ming, a retired 7 foot 3 inch center who used to play for the Houston Rockets” (Entry 21 n.p.). Many companies have introduced globalization and expanded beyond the borders of their origin. Maybe the most notable company in the topic of globalization is "McDonalds, an American company that has locations popping up all over the world” (Entry 20 n.p.). McDonalds is a franchise that originated in America, but evolved into a worldwide fast food chain that has introduced American fast food to the rest of the world, including Asia. I was not aware that many American made companies- not just McDonalds- are on foreign soil. Many cultural aspects have been appropriated or shared between cultures that many people don’t realize. I personally did not comprehend the effects of cultural appropriation and sharing until I took this course. I learned how culture can be shared or adopted, for good or for worse. Now I see it in nearly everything I set my eyes on.

I have always thought of sentence structure as one of my more superior writing elements. However, after learning about dirge sentences and rock anthems I realized this was not the case. Many of my sentences did not differ in structure; they lacked variation and were not unique. I learned how to mix up my structure and keep the paragraph flowing for the reader to understand and develop thoughts. If sentences are too short and choppy, it can be hard to follow the reasoning behind the writing. Additionally, if the sentences are long and dragging, it can be quite boring and the reader can become lost in the words- forcing them to re-read the writing. Towards the beginning of the semester, you can see blandness in my sentences and the structure does not differ greatly which in turn made my paper boring. In one of my first Tumblr posts, I wrote about Mulan saying “Mulan is a woman and is portrayed as fragile and innocent. However she proves Asian culture wrong as she shows she can serve in her country’s army. This was not a normal thing as women could not join the military in her culture and time” (Entry 3 n.p.). As you can see, these sentences are short and follow one after another without much transition or pause. During the rest of the semester, I can see my sentence structure improve little by little as I start to see various clauses and transitions. An example of proper sentence structure that will keep the reader engaged is "Herbal medicine was westernized in America due to Asian immigration. Just as Chinese restaurants began popping up, so have herbal medicine shops. Unlike food, herbal medicine cannot be altered to meet the needs of another culture” (Entry 13 n.p.). Another prime example of proper sentence structure would be to use a variety of short, medium, and long sentences to spice up the way your paper sounds when it is read. I posted on Tumblr about the topic of World War Two and the conflict with Japan by saying “The bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki was an attack against Japan during WW2. Many Japanese hated the Americans for this, while many also hated their own government for putting them in this situation and not protecting them. Now America and Japan are allies” (Entry 24 n.p.). By learning how to vary my sentence length and structure, my literary skills have increased immensely.

Punctuation is an element of writing that I think I have developed the most. I learned to use punctuation in the right context and to create style and tone with such tools. Correct punctuation can be used to spice up a rather boring topic and to create breaks in between or after sentences. Using punctuation incorrectly, however, can potentially ruin an entire sentence by changing the intended message to something completely different. Before this semester, I was not confident in my ability to use various pieces of punctuation such as colons, semi-colons, dashes, and commas. Now after completing this course, you can see my confidence in using these pieces of punctuation throughout my writing. The semi-colon may be my favorite piece- you will see it in almost every paper of mine. You can see proper use of the semi-colon and comma in the following Tumblr post, “I came across a list of the most spoken languages in the world. Some people may think that English is the most spoken language; however, Mandarin has over a billion speakers. I think it’s weird that many Asians learn the English language, but many Americans don’t learn Mandarin” (Entry 4 n.p.). The most confusing piece of punctuation for me prior to this semester was the dash. However, after practice, I am fairly convinced that I can utilize the dash to its full extent. You can see proper use of the dash in the following Tumblr post: “Here’s a music video of G-Dragon in collaboration with Skrillex and Diplo- two highly viewed American EDM artists. It’s good to notice appropriation of American EDM music and culturing sharing with Japan through the use of music” (Entry 28 n.p.). I developed my use of punctuation throughout the entire semester, and my progress can be seen throughout various pieces of my writing, especially my Tumlr posts.

An area of my writing that still needs some improvement is my use and explanation of evidence. When my papers call for evidence, I seem to provide a solid amount of satisfactory evidence. However, I fail to develop my argument by using my evidence to provide reinforcement. Miss Bone has told me countless times in our paper conferences that my evidence is there, but I need to expand more and utilize it. It is comparable to bringing a sword and shield to war, but not using them in fights. In my research paper, my topic was the decline of the American automotive industry because of the Japanese automakers. This paper was abundant in evidence, but I failed to use the evidence to support my thesis. I introduced a piece of evidence as “a survey conducted when gas prices were high resulted in eighty-six percent of respondents listing quality as the most important factor when buying a new car, with safety coming in second at eighty-two percent and fuel economy in third at seventy-three percent” (Research Paper Final Draft 2). After I introduced the evidence, I followed up by saying “Consumers want a reliable product that is long lasting, has consistent and stable performance, and minimizes the necessity to correct malfunctions in the vehicle” (Research Paper Final Draft 2). I essentially provided a solid piece of evidence but did not develop my thoughts or tie it back to my thesis. Examples of my lack of usage of evidence can be seen throughout my entire research paper. I explained that “they [Japan] have invested a lot of time and effort into developing a hybrid engine for many models and created a brand that focuses on the youth” (Research Paper Final Draft 4). Initially, I tried to develop this piece of evidence and tie it back to my thesis by saying “This further exemplifies the successes that come with Japan’s achievement of superior customer service because they cater to the exact needs of the American people and provide a vast array of options” (Research Paper Final Draft 4). My problem is that I go from one piece of evidence to another so quickly that the reader cannot fully grasp the purpose of the evidence. I need to slow down, develop thoughts, and try and persuade the reader that my thesis and the evidence I provide with it is meaningful.

Throughout the semester, my composition skills clearly improved; I have noticed development in the skills I have been taught which has made my writing better. This class has been very exciting, and I will certainly continue to implement the topics I have learned from class in my future career. A main benefit of my learned skills- cultural awareness, sentence structure, and punctuation- will be putting those skills to use in my professional life. Having the confidence to approach a potential employer or a client in writing is not only satisfying but rewarding. Having the correct grammar and punctuation skills is sure to impress any employer, which will help me jump start my career and give me a competitive edge. Besides impressing employers, it genuinely feels good to know how to correctly use the English language instead of using slang that is not quite as impressive. Throughout the semester I have certainly improved my writing skills, but because of that I have also seen a difference in my speech, even in casual conversation. Many people do not realize the important of literature, and I am glad that I have come to understand its relevance in life.

[jakebruno15-blog]

As the semester progressed, I saw myself progressing in my awareness of other cultures I encountered in my everyday life. At first, I struggled with the Tumblr post because I am not really into social media that much. However, as the semester progressed, I began to post less and less about news articles I found and more about encounters in my everyday life. A post from early in the semester was talking about an article about Jeremy Lin (“February 6th” n.p.). I did not put much effort into the whole Tumblr thing. I will admit that. However, I did begin to do less articles and more actual everyday encounters. One post talked about how when I was writing my paper on K-pop, an actual K-pop song came on in my Spotify playlist, which then propelled me to listen to some G-Dragon (“February 20th” n.p.). A post from later in the semester was about a night when i ate sushi and decided to actually research sushi and find meanings behind different names. One post talked about how sashimi is the traditional first course in a formal Japanese meal (“March 21st” n.p.). Although I did not really want to do the Tumblr posts throughout the semester, I began to have less and less difficulty doing the posts. The posts became easier as I progressed in my awareness of other cultures. Even now, as I do not have to do Tumblr posts, I see things everyday which I could write about. Last week, a flyer was put up in my hallway talking about a showing of a documentary about a North Korean refugee. Before this class, I would have ignored it or not even though about it. Since I have been in this class, I now have respect for other cultures and movies from other cultures. Without this class I would have never watched Jiro Dreams of Sushi, but since it was an option for the #mercypass posts, I decided to watch it and do not regret one minute of it. That movie was very interesting and I am glad that I was able to see it. Cultural awareness is something that we should all have because we live in a country which is a melting pot of so many different cultures. If there is one thing that I can definitely take away from this class this that I now have more of an appreciation for other cultures than I did before I started in this class, and for that, I am thankful.

[theperksofculture]

Dear Miss Bone,

I feel like I should show you the awesomeness of how this paper started, considering when I turn it in I am not going to keep the title as it is because it is not in MLA format.

So, I am writing this letter type thing to you to tell you about the ways in which my writing has grown over this past semester. For a while I did not believe that my writing had grown, considering I never felt like I was a decent writer. That was until I looked over my old papers and the comments you had made for them. I guess you never really see your own improvement until you look back over everything that has been done. I feel that there are many ways I have grown in my writing this semester, but I can’t talk about all of them, that paper would be way too long, so I will be sure to keep it down to three. Over this semester I have learned how to organize my thoughts more cohesively, I have improved my transitions – even if just a little, and I have learned how to write a better and more convincing thesis statement.

           There are times when I have been writing this semester that I felt like I was never going to be able to write a paper that could actually show how smart I can be and how many actually really good words I have in my head. Yes, I know my organization can still be a little messed up, or even as you said, “Muddled,” (Bone “Summary” 3). Even with this being said, I know my organization skills have improved over this semester. After looking back over my summary paper I can see the places that I just jumped from place to place, even within the certain topic I was going to cover. In the second paragraph of my summary paper I jump from Christmas time to family roots and then to his Christian faith. The transitions seemed to work okay with it, but the organization just was not there. The thoughts seemed to get lost within themselves and just made everything feel very weak over all. In my critique paper as well I can see the places that the organization isn’t as strong as it could be. I found myself being able to keep things organized well, just not as smoothly as it could be. You noted, “How your ideas fit together are as important as the ideas themselves,” (Bone “Grave of the Fireflies” 7). And as I looked through I could see how my ideas did not go well together and how they seemed to bounce from point to point, though not as bad as the summary paper. I am actually proud of how well I seemed to have improved the organization, even from just two papers that felt like they were back to back. Even though my thoughts in my introduction paragraph of my research paper were not as organized as they could have been, all in all I felt the research paper was much more strongly organized than my other two papers before it. A key factor to having good, even great organization is making sure that you have decent transitions. Without the transitions being strong or even logical, the organization of paper can fall apart.

           My papers used to have very weak transitions. They still may not be the best, but they have improved greatly. In my critique paper the thoughts seemed to hop around a lot and there were not really any great places that made the paper flow how it should have. You noted, “The jump to the film felt a bit sudden” (Bone “Grave of the Fireflies” 7). There were not many transitions in Grave of the Fireflies so everything did feel jumpy and sudden and did not seem to make a good flowing paper. Everything just seemed choppy and reading back over it, things do not seem easy to keep up with in the paper. On page three of the critique paper there was a sentence that did technically connect the two paragraphs, but it was just one sentence that I honestly probably just threw in there to make sure it was not just a really sudden jump from one idea to the next. “However, disbelief did not take away from pride and patriotism,” is one of the example of the sudden just change that was put in the paper as I tried to make a transition from paragraph to paragraph (“Grave of the Fireflies” 3). There was a transition on page three of my research paper that I am actually quite proud of, even if it was on my revision and I only did it after you pointed out that I needed to fix it. In the original version of the paper I went from talking about child development and how having a good foundation for a child can lead to a better adult basically but then I immediately jumped straight to, “Media play a huge role in the acceptance of everything in our current day and age,” (“Japanese Cosplay” 2). With this there is no mention of children or the development of them or anything even like that. It is only about the media, showing no transition whatsoever. In the revision of my research paper I said,

There are many things that play roles in a child’s development. These things can range from the music a child listens to to the people that they are interacting with. Many mediums that can be used to influence the development of a child is media. Media is a huge influencer of everything in our current day and age (3).

This actually shows a transition from the child development to the media with a way that actually makes sense and does not feel like just a massive jump. Maybe a small jump, like off the side of a pool into it, but not like that terrifying jump off the high dive into the deep end of the pool.

           Unfortunately, now is not exactly a chance for me to showcase the awesome transition skills that I have developed, as no matter how long I have racked my brain to find a way to transition this, I can’t find a way to go from how I have improved transitions to how I have improved my thesis statement. This being said, my thesis statements have improved greatly, or at least to me they have. In my summary paper I basically did not even have a thesis statement. Well, I may have, but it was not really one that I could work well with. It basically took up three lines and was clunky. Dirge sentences do not make for good thesis statements. Then in my critique paper, I at least had a thesis statement. There was a sentence there that could actually be followed and used to make into a paper. It was a little weak, yes, even you noted, “Your thesis statement could have been a bit more robust,” (Bone “Grave of the Fireflies” 7). With a stronger thesis statement there could have been more specific details that could have been zoned in on to make the argument stronger throughout the entire paper. So I feel there was at least a little growth from the summary paper to the critique paper. I always tried to take the help and comments you gave me and apply them to the next paper to make sure I was always improving my writing, which I think was a big part of this class, to teach us not only how to write long papers, but how to write well constructed long papers. After you telling me how I could beef up my thesis sentence, when it came time for the research paper, I was determined to make sure I had a thesis statement that was beefy enough for me to work from, but not so much so that it wrote the paper for me. Even though I wrote a decently long thesis statement for my research paper, I think it worked well with what I was trying to accomplish. I was able to go from having a pretty long thesis statement that was not even really a thesis statement, to having a still decently long thesis statement, but it was actually a thesis statement that I could write my paper around so that is some really great growth and progress.

           Having growth and progress is great, as we need to continue to grow in every aspect of our life so we can always improve. This also leaves room for places that still need to be expanded upon. I believe one thing I need to improve on is my cultural awareness. I do not always realize how many cultures there truly are around us at any moment in time. If I really think about it, I can see it, but if I do not I am as blind as a bat. I think being culturally aware of what is around you is critical to evolving as a functioning member of society. The more that we recognize around us and how deeply involved it is into other cultures, the more we can truly grow. I would like this to be a thing for me. The point of the Tumblr posts this semester was to improve our cultural awareness and while I did feel it did help improve it, I do not feel like it is anywhere close to where it needs to be. I would really prefer to be able to recognize all the appropriations and misappropriations of the other cultures around me.

           So in this letter/Tumblr post we were supposed to talk about how we have grown over this semester and an area that we feel we need to improve on. I feel that in wrapping up an entire semester in one paper, 2000 words, 6 pages, can’t do an entire semester worth of growth some justice. But if we tried to focus on the entire semester and in every aspect that we have improved on, we would be here for hours. I could write a trilogy on every little thing that I have improved on over the semester. Well, I doubt I could, but you probably could. I do not think my growth is measured by how many words I write in a final paper that I am really proud of, but how much I feel I have grown on my own. I can actually write papers that I know are messy, but I am actually proud of. That was not how it was at the beginning of the semester. Maybe that is why the papers seemed so awkward and shaky. Or maybe it was because I was some awkward freshman terrified for my life about the fact I had just signed myself up for an English class that was about writing, and I could not write very well. Whatever the case may be, I managed to get out of that little corner I had backed myself in to of being terrified of writing, to not even minding the fact I had to write a 2000 word paper for my final. The first paper that had to be 500 words seemed like such a huge task to be handled and it freaked me out a little, but 2000 words does not even phase me now. I think that is a huge showing of growth. I can look back and legitimately see where I have grown in my writing this semester and I am really proud of. I have always tried to make the end of my paper a really good “so what” because that is what you always tell us to do, but I have never really understood what that meant until recently. I believe I have grown in a lot of ways and I am really proud of my growth. That is my “so what” and I am happy with it.

[jakebruno15-blog]

Beginning with the first paper, my knowledge of audience awareness was obviously lacking as evidenced by the score of 2/4 in the audience category on the summary paper (Bone “Life in the South” 3). The summary paper was our first assignment which involved writing about the culture of a partner who we were randomly paired with during a class period. Our target audience for the assignment was supposed to be a friend or acquaintance to whom we were writing. My paper however resembled more of a reply to a question than a letter to a friend and for that reason, I only received a 2/4 in the audience category of the rubric. On the next assignment, the critique paper, my writing slightly improved as my audience score moved up to a 3/4 (Bone “Grave of the Fireflies” 6). This paper was more of a formal paper which required me to be more traditional in my writing style. Although the improvement was slight, it was still improvement. Unfortunately, there was no improvement from the critique paper to the research paper as evidenced by the 3/4 I received once again on the audience category of the rubric (Bone “ American Influence on Korean Pop Culture” 8). Although I only improved my score to a 3/4 throughout this semester, I now have a better understanding of how I am supposed to direct my papers towards a specific audience. The audience of a paper affects all aspects of the paper. For example, grammar may change based on the audience. You may use slang terms and contractions or even texting shortcuts to write to a friend, but then when its time to write a formal paper you have to throw it all out the door and stick to well formed and punctuated  sentences. Seeing how I scored on the first paper, I was able to use that moving forward as motivation to improve my audience awareness which helped propel a 2/4 in the audience category to a 3/4. Although I never achieved a 4/4, I still feel that the improvement, although small, was enough to affect my writing as a whole for the better.