#eni clicks

[muchadoaboutlearning]

life lately is a simultaneous destruction, deconstruction and reconstruction of my sense of meaning

wisteria in waves: painting walls of uni, a puppy outside the hospital: the cutest thing to see in my eye allergy era, scented candles: I turned 20 and became a candle bitch to microdose on the primal euphoria with fire, hot and cool chai and dorm room coffee, sunsets in uni and reading league of good women by chaucer

//"Week 4 2023"//

[muchadoaboutlearning]

Hope is a heavy earring: Days in Uni

I want to be a lil container of golden shimmers painted on my wall as light filters through the window

As the month of April goes by with spring attached to its feet, I inhale fairy tale illustrations and exhale catnaps when coco, the cat yawns during afternoons. I spend seldom evenings on my dorm room desk and I earn seldom shivers in the library when the air conditioner blows on my face, I read feminist scholarship and colonial discourse with a cup of filter coffee. Sometimes in evenings the sky paints itself in strokes of bi colors to make me smile, it says hihi you are so big but the dendrochronology of trees colors me insignificant, they say hello hello you are so small. I doodled the lyrics of my favorite song on my whiteboard on the night I had a breakdown, left my shoes in the street so you'd carry me through a breakdown. Hope is a heavy earring and I dropped it. Today, a kind senior who wants to pursue horse psychology took my candid as I took a candid of the sun. I saved her contact with the sun emoji and told her love is stored in sunsets. The sun, the sun loves twirling by the window during the golden hour in the common room, sprinkling glitter on my ballpoint messy math notes of set theory. Perhaps the science textbook forgot to tell me that the sun moonlights as a glitter pen on days when you need a sparkle in your life. In uni, my to-do list is an infinite while loop but I store the joy of learning in a mushroom house of child-eyed fascination. So, most days, I live my life one sunset at a time and some days, I check off my to-do list but everyday, I wonder when spring will get tired and remove its shoes to wear slippers made of scrunchy leaves. Does spring get tired? I hope it does, because I can almost inhale the rain and I can almost exhale Maa's vegetable soup. Hope is a heavy earring, I dropped it but I picked it up again.

//"hope is a heavy earring"// enigma

[muchadoaboutlearning]

canvas confetti is the only thing that keeps me going

It has been a very mediocre and exhausting week when it comes to academic productivity. But I am so proud of my sociology essay, I hope I get a good grade, genuinely loved the research articles I read for it. I have been procrastinating a lot because uni has an abrupt break (fuck covid) meanwhile, I saw pretty sunsets from the balcony, saw a cute kitten, and visited the library with my bestie. A long but nurturing week. ~ eni.

Week III MMXXII

[muchadoaboutlearning]

may brings bittersweet bites of memories

overdressing to cope with heartache, in my completing a novel in a single day era, Bernoulli processes, khan academy videos and filter coffee, visages of the outside world, rainy days, ink pens and a jukebox that smells like mum, a sunset where I plucked words for you but couldn't wrap them in newspapers as a present of my feelings, walking can induce a breakdown bonus points if you look hot that day, combat boots of loneliness and longing, Venus ballads trap in the sternum of my ribcage and hope, the moonlight of hope against all hopes

~ eni

//"May so far"//

[muchadoaboutlearning]

Life at Uni

oh the mortifying ordeal of change but oh the gratifying relief of becoming

it's been a month since I came to uni and well, I am too sleepy to write a whole reflection so I will keep this short,

1. sound of independence

2. taste of responsibility

3. sniffing sunsets

4. a cottagecore fantasy

5. body paints of loneliness

6. cough syrup of homesickness

7. site (sight) of knowledge

8. spoonfeeding joy in morsels of learning

9. alarms of healthy sleep schedules (seldom)

10. touch of growing up

[muchadoaboutlearning]

let's skip around a flea market

[muchadoaboutlearning]

source cited a gut feeling (mla)

This week was about waking up at 4 am to write an essay, eating gajar ka halwa during philosophy class, getting a heart emoji from professor in the sociology project presentation, chasing sunsets through endless gazes from the balcony and a family day trip to a beach in the dolor of a low tide. January is finally over and February heralds with dew drops of sunshine. This month has been so so tiring and emotionally exhausting, I hope February brings peace, solitude, togetherness and warmth~ eni

Week 5 2022

[muchadoaboutlearning]

baby fireflies riding a Ferris wheel inside the hurricane lamps

Today is the last day of end term break ~ eni

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