#enng

[mesutea]

[imogenandleila-blog]

3:02am.

Argh. I can't sleep. I woke up before because it got really hot, and now I have so much running through my mind that I can't get back to sleep.

I'm lying here, absolutely gripping the life out of my pillow. I'm pretending its you, because I miss you so much and I am so ready for you to be here it's insane. I keep talking out loud to you as if you were here to respond. That's probably a bit sad to read, but I like having little conversations with you. I can't wait until I can actually hear your voice talking back to me when I say your name. Sara, babe. I miss you so freaking much. SO much. I've seriously forgotten so much about you. And it scares me because I want my memory to be refreshed. I know it will be so soon, in a week. But I just want it now. It still seems so far away even thought it's just there. I don't have to think about it for another few days, and then you will be here. And it will be the most amazing slash weird thing having you back in Canberra. It's really weird that this time last year you lived here. And this time last year we hadnt found out you were leaving yet. You and I were literally barely even friends. I think the extent of our friendship was that we were married on Facebook, and we saw eachother at youth and church every week. That was really it. I didn't really know much about you other than you were freaking cool, and funny and I wanted to be like you. And you had this random sister that I didnt even know about until months after that. Who had cool shoes.

It's weird to think that we weren't friends at all this time last year. And now look at us. Wow. It has been so hard at points. But not once, at all. Have I even considered leaving you. Walking away has never been an option for me. Staying and fighting for you is the only thing I know, and even though we get tested and tested over again, it doesn't make me want to give up. It makes me want to love you, protect you, and be your bestfriend more. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. Nothing at all. I love you so much. And in such a short amount of time, way before now. We have realised that everything is better now that we have eachother. It's so simple. Just two young girls, finding a way in this world. Trying to battle out the burdens of life, knowing that their future is bright together. The stuff we talk about, in so much detail. How can it NOT happen. Our families. Our children, our husbands, our holidays, our roadtrips, our adventures. Wow. I have never dreamed about my future so openly with anyone. You pretty much know everything that I want, from my childrens names and personalities, down to every dirty little sex detail that I want. That kind if stuff is deep, and I have never talked about it with anyone. It's one thing to talk about sex with people, but to go into as much detail as we do? I mean we can laugh about it and say that it's full on and everything, but it kind of is important too. And I love sharing it with you. Now you know that I'll be a massive slut when I am married. (:

I just freaking love doing life with you. So much. Because everyday we learn something new, something beautiful about the other person. And even though I can't get my head around how it would be possible, we are closer now than we have ever been. Even though we live thousands of kilometers away from eachother. Things could have so easily fallen apart between us. We could have had a talk before you left and made a desicion that it would be easier that we would really drop the dynamics of us and just be like. Facebook friends. Or something crazy and boring like that. It would have been hard and easy at the same time to just walk away from everything that we have known because you were leaving. But no, we both wanted more than that, we both wanted eachother. And we realised that distance couldn't shake us, at all. Over time we have become stronger and stronger and nothing can stop us. I'm so proud of our relationship because it shows every aspect of maturity and growth. Far out, I just can't even wrap my head around how amazing we are, for sticking together through anything. And Frick, we have been through a hell of a lot to get to where we are now, and we are still going. We are still going to face trials and tests, and we are going to get mad at eachother, and get grumpy and not understand why things are happening and we are going to doubt and get sad and emotional and almost give up and get to breaking point and fall over and have to pick up pieces and just do everything. But I know now Sara Hurnen, that I love you more than anything. And my love for you comes out stronger than all of that junk that we ever go though. Anything we ever face, I love you so much more. Because I know that we are meant to be bestfriends, no matter how hard and how tough it all gets.

You'll never wake up, and not be able to call me bestfriend, in your whole life. I'll always love you. You'll always have me. I'll always be your Noni. Sara and Noni will always be bestfriends. Soulmates.

We have nothing to worry about because we are safe. We're locked in for as long as we are alive.

Are you ready to do life with me?