#entine-clem

[thekewlkats]

Our Clem has returned!

~Sparky P.

[thekewlkats]

A Clem X BStar Fanfic: Orange Brownies by Otaku

AN: This is what happens when Clem doesn’t make it to the Surprise Spooky Friday Stream to watch Mama because she went to Baltimore, Maryland. She is also not the Clem from the Walking Dead, nor is she an orange. *evil smirk* Hue. Hue. HUE. (Sara came up with the opener.)  

                                        -Otaku/Otaco/Taco/Knight

-Setting: A bakery somewhere on planet Earth-

Clementine fell on her face and BStar laughed at her. It’s not really in his nature to laugh at a fallen person, but Clem did fall on her face after slipping on an orange peel. The irony was strong with this one. Both of them could feel it.

A tear then commences to fall down the side of her face. “That really hurt,” she thought. BStar, though he did throw a chuckle at that incident, he did go to her side and help her up. Her ankle was slightly sprained.

“Are you okay, Clem?” he asked, his voice full of concern.

“Y-yes BStar; I’m fine,” she nervously responded. He smelt faintly of brownies. He had just baked a fresh batch of brownies that morning before he left. The aroma was nutty, but not too nutty. He also smelt of vanilla and cocoa bean. It was almost as if she could taste the brownies. Her stomach let out a slight growl in response to the alluring aroma. “That wasn’t me,” he lied, blushing.

Catching on to what was happening, “Oh, I see…” he trailed off as he helped her up. He set Clem up on the countertop.

A waitress went up to the both of them. She seemed somewhat bubbly and had a smug look on her face. “Can I get you two a wedding ring--- I mean some ice?” she asked slyly. This said waitress had the name of “Sara”. She had been following the history between the two for quite a while actually.

“No Sara, no,” Clem responded with haste, her face as crimson red as her passion for BStar. She readjusted the cyan bow on top of her head.

BStar, confused, gave out a slight giggle. “We’d like some ice please. Can you put it in a rag?”

Sara nodded, still with a smug look on her face. “I’ll bring that to you,” she chimed. When she was far enough away, she whispered, “Lovebirds.” She then “hued” away and disappeared into the kitchen to return minutes later with somewhat melted ice in a rag that had brownie print on it.

Clem gave out a sigh. “I hope no one else comes in to ruin the moment,” she thought. At that moment, the entire Kewl Kats gang came in, bustling with abundant joy and glee. “You little shits!” she yelled in fury. They all awkwardly stopped and stared at the two on the counter and simultaneously. Her act was actually the one thing to catch their attention. It now resembled a typical anime, such as OHSHC. Sara then came into the picture to do the exact same smile they all had.

“I see we came to see Sara at her new job at a wrong time,” Frosty snickered.

“I see we did come at a good time though,” Otaku giggled. “It’s a good thing Sara called to help out.”

Clem shot daggers at Sara with her eyes, but Sara, being Satan, deflected them easily with her demonic kittens. Whispered “hues” floated around in the air in the moment of utter silence. BStar, confused, stood up and offered Clem his hand. “Shall we blow this popsicle stand?” he asked with his voice full of gentlemen chivalry.

 She took his hand without hesitation and they, indeed, blew that Popsicle stand. They saw the world together. By that, basically they took a virtual tour online. Seeing the world in person is expensive man. After a day’s worth of their online tour, they went back to the bakery. This time, it was a tad bit emptier. The Kewl Kats were still there ‘cause yolo. They were munching on some chocolate chip cookies.

“COUPLE ALERT!!!!” Princess yelled. They all then ducked underneath the table.

“Shut up!” Clem squeaked.

“hOnk!!! hOnk!!! hOnk!!! hOnk!!! hOnk!!! hOnk!!! GaMzEe LaNd MoThErFuCkEr!!!” Gamzee shrieked as she jumped on the table. It was totally pointless, but once again, yolo. “I aM tHe QuEeN, sO i Do WhAt I wAnT!!!!” By that, it also applies to the authoritarian rules of grammar.

“God dammit Gamzee,” Puzzle sighed. Her mother had finally accepted them as her friends and they were now rejoicing with a round of chocolate chip cookies and faygo. They were NOT old enough to drink yet. Well…. Princess and Otaku were. They’re the oldest within the group.

Clem and BStar attempted to make a break for it, but Sara’s demonic kitten army blocked the doors and kept them captive within the bakery. BStar saw nothing wrong with it as it was his bakery and he didn’t have to leave anyways. The demonic kittens purred and curled around his feet. Fat kittens just sat on Clem, making it so that she couldn’t move as they weighed her down. Hue.

The Kewl Kats calmly got up. They began working around the two. BStar still didn’t move (by choice), and so did Clem (not by choice). Gamzee put on her shades and acted as a host. Princess, Sara, and Frosty went in the kitchen to work on the food. Otaku, Sparky P, and Wolfie went to change into cosplay so it’d be more entertaining. Booty and Llama set up the room to fit the atmosphere. Basically, they just put a white table cloth over the table and a candle in the middle. They also lowered the lights. Gamzee had a little too much fun with lighting the candle in the middle. The Kewl Kats then learned to never EVER let Gamzee light the candles ever again. EVER.

Otaku, Sparky P., and Wolfie all reentered the room in cosplay. They cosplayed what they wanted. Basically, Sparky P. cosplayed as someone from OHSHC, Wolfie as someone from Homestuck, and Otaku as someone from Black Butler. They did what they wanted. Sara, Princess, and Frosty all reentered the room with a three tier display that had brownies all over it. BStar applauded with a proud tear coming out of one eye. Gamzee coordinated everything as she’s still the queen and they had to follow her. Booty and Llama followed her every whim due to that reason.

Clem nervously looked all over. The scene looked too much of that from Lady and the Tramp, not just because that’s the only scene that the author could think of in terms of “romance”. They looked at each other in the eyes. A sparkle was in both of their eyes, and it was not because Gamzee tried lighting fireworks instead of the candles.

The Kewl Kats all backed away into the darkness to give them some space. They didn’t necessarily leave the room, but they did give them some space. If you clear your mind and concentrate enough, you can hear their “hues” in the background to this day.

“I-I did enjoy my time,” Clem stuttered. Her nervousness got to her. “D-Did you?”

“Yeah,” BStar answered. He was calm and collected. “It was fun, especially with you Clem.” He took a sip of his faygo. “Hold up.” He reached into his pocket and brought out an orange. “So…. We’ve been with each other for a while,” he began. The truth was that it really was a while. To be exact, a couple days that did not feel like a couple days. He rolled the orange to Clem. She peeled it and in that orange was a seed. To that seed, there was a silver band attached to it. “Will you run the bakery with me?” he asked. “As my significant other?”

Everyone’s jaw dropped. That is, everyone except BStar and Clem. It had suddenly turned into a cheesy soap opera. Clem stared at the ring.

Otaku came up from behind Clem. It was so dark that BStar didn’t notice Otaku as she did. She whispered, “What about all of the other guys? Like Jund and Cry? Aren’t they romantically important to you?”

Clem bluntly said, “Fuck no.”

“What?!?” BStar yelped with 100% pure disappointment in his voice.

“OF COURSE BSTAR, OF COURSE I’LL MARRY YOU!” she hastily yelled to save it. She flicked Otaku on the forehead, which hurt her a lot, and put the ring on.

The power of their love was so bright, the whole room was illuminated. Sara’s demonic kittens took some damage points, but it was okay. They had the “Bright-Away” collars on for just this type of situation. All of them went blind for a few seconds, except Gamzee. She had her shades on. Lucky little shit. BStar and Clem then blasted through the roof, powered off brownie points and their love and blew up when they hit the atmosphere. 

And that is when they all learned that their love was not less than three. It was a lot more than three.

When their particles came back to Earth and their bodies were remade, they ran the bakery and called it "Orange Brownies". Everything was fine. That is, until two men from Clem's past came into the bakery.

Hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue. 

[blinkshark]

HA LOOK. Terrible quality but yolo

Jack Frost: Frosty

Santa: Sara

EasterBunny: Gamzee

Sandy: Clem

Tooth Fairy: Otaku

Baby Tooth: Puzzle

Pitch: Sparky P.

So yes. Hi.

[thekewlkats]

A Clem X Cry X Bstar X Jund Fanfic~

AN: Written by a bunch of sleep drunk ninnies. Also, this is nOT CLEM FROM THE WALKING DEAD GAME. Thank you. -Puzzle

 Clementine shuffled down the hardwood floor with a laundry basket filled with her step-brother's, Cry, fresh laundry, propped against her hip. She was just about to knock on her step-brother's door when suddenly she felt someone playfully grabbed her from behind. She spazzed out and let out her inner fangirl mating call whilst turning around to face her intruder. "C-Cry!" Clementine squealed. She playfully punched him in the shoulder. 

Instead of punching him in the shoulder, because he was so tall, she punched him in the crotch. Cry doubled over in pain. "Ungh!" He grunted. Clem immediately covered her mouth in embarrassment. “Cry! I'm... I'm so sorry!" And instead of thinking straight, she went to begin rubbing his owie, but before she did it, she finally caught on to what she was doing, but it was too late as her hand was going in that direction. She stopped at the very last minute before touching his.... Navel.

She quickly placed her small hand against his back instead and tried to help him up, her face heating up."Oni-chan... are you okay?" she said in a concerned voice. He then turned blood red and freaked, "Y-yeah! I'm fine..." Cry fumbled. He slowly regained composure and stood up straight again. But he got up too quickly and pulled a back muscle. He let out a small groan. Clem then suddenly looked worried. Her eyebrows knitted together, her mouth gaping, her eyes... her eyes.They had a certain... sparkle, Cry never noticed before.”Oh my gosh! Are you okay? What can I do to help?" Clementine gushed, bringing him back to earth. Cry blushed again furiously.” My...my muscles. Could you...rub some icy hot on my back?" Cry said quietly. Clementine was about to grab a tube of Icy-Hot, when BStar popped out of nowhere and attempted to offer her a brownie.

"Hey, Clem! Hey, girl! Hi! Wanna brownie? I'm sure you'll like this one I made especially for you!" Bstar said with a wink. Cry tightened his fists and jaw. Then he smacked the tray of brownies out of BStar's hands, completely forgetting about his back, and said, "NO BSTAR, SHE'S MY KAWAII STEP SISTER. GO HOME." Clementine, being the polite soul, still accepted Bstar's brownies. She took a mere bite and then...

She toppled on the floor, knocked out cold. Bstar quickly grabbed her by the ankles and dragged her into a van, wasting no time. Cry lunged forward, his hands in front of him, desperate to catch up to Bstar's van but to no avail. He was crying because he couldn't believe he had a real life girl in his van, but half the reason for his tears was also because of the radiating pain from his penis getting caught in the door.

Meanwhile, back at Cry and Clementine’s home, A sad Cry was drowning his sorrows of loosing his kawaii step sister with Jack Daniels. He usually drinks girly drinks, but he was as depressed as the majority of the characters in My Immortal. He paced the room, bottle in one hand, thinking out loud."I have to get Clem back! Who knows what Bstar could be doing to my precious sister!" He threw a bottle at a wall in frustration. Well, actually, he only did it because he couldn't handle the manly power of testosterone alcohol.

He then cleaned up the mess because he's a fucking gentleman; he then continued to stumble into the front lawn. He falls on his knees and lets out a CRY (hue). He then completely crumbled onto the dewy grass.

Clem's still in Louisiana with BStar, she gets Stockholm syndrome and marries him. 

- EIGHT YEARS LATER-

After many years of trying to pinpoint Clem and Bstar's exact location, he finally got an address. Looked like Clem and Bstar opened up a bakery on Burton Street in New Orleans. Cry grabbed his wallet and car keys and then jumped into his car.

"Cry??" Clementine said surprised as she opened the door to see her step-brother. Clem hugs him and says, "Water you doing here? BStar is at the bakery."

Before Clementine could say anything else, Cry swooped up Clem and put her in his car. He put on her seat belt, told her not to worry, and kissed her forehead. "B-b-but. What about BStar????" Clem askef

Cry looked straight into Clem's eyes. "Clemmy... you don't love Bstar." Then she was like "Kay, I don't" Yunnie then popped out of nowhere and said, "I'll distract him, when he comes back."

Cry smiled at Yunnie. "Thanks", he mouthed and drove away. "Why did you come to get me?" Clem asked. Then Cry says "I left Pewdie... Because... I <3 you more." Clem was flattered but unsure. They stayed silent all the way home.

When Clem and Cry got home, they found someone had already been here... and still was. It was Scott, and he was eating some soup. "Scott? What are you doing here? Where did you get that soup?" Clem asked. He made some soup for them as well. Clem's had a heart in it made from alphabet noodles while Cry's said "It's on". 

Clementine was flattered and thanked Jund while Cry cursed under his breath. They both ate the soup. Cry fell over as it had sleeping pills in it and Jund took Clem. Clem then proceeded to ask Jund what he's doing and what happened to Raven. Clem was conflicted. She loved Jund. He was charming, and passionate, but she also loved Cry. He was sweet and understanding. And she loved BStar as he smelled like brownies.

Jund answered in a whisper “I left Raven...for you."

Clem then woke up in her bed, "Wha-was it just a dream..?" She looks to her laptop to see that Cry's livestream starts in a half hour. She curses under her breath and then sighs.

And then she woke up again. She looked to her side and finds... A NAKED CRY AND JUND! (and a dildo(hue)

[fracula]

entine-clem respondeu à sua publicação: Any good poems anyone?  Need some for this reading...

I know a poem that’s pretty long, but cute and sad. I forgot the name, but its on YouTube. Its called Porkchops or something.

omg yes, I know isn't it about bullying? I shall search for it.

[blinkshark]

Gamzee: She wants to god-mother my father--

Gamzee: Wait what? .. fuck.

Clem and Me: *laughing*