#entry 37

[unwantedarc]

Does anyone know where I can watch entry 37 (non-canon) aka my profile picture? I know it was apart of the dvd’s but I can’t find it anywhere online.

[purpleghostemblem]

E N T T R Y

[grow1ng-gurl]

Entry #37

Hello, it’s day 108, and I’m 17 feet and 1 inch tall! Thanks to the help of this gentleman-

“Please, let me go, I don’t- aa-” *he’s suddenly silenced*

Shush, it’s okay, I’m not going to crush you, though it’d be sooo easy! *giggles* I’m getting hungry, maybe I should reveal myself. I can’t really sneak around at this size.

[diary-of-a-people-pleaser]

Entry 37, 2-23-21

God why do I suck at art so much

I can’t do anything right because of those stupid █s that I draw they screwed up my artistic progress and now I don’t know how to draw people

But I’ve gotta stick with them I guess. I have a design. I’ve just gotta pick up the slack.

[vndrea-xo]

Today I awoke in good spirits up until I checked on a few things. Now my mood is south, I’m second guessing everything, and I have an unhealthy amount of anxiety. I’m going to try to fight it by hopefully still continuing my day as planned. All I want to do is take a depression nap, but later on I’ll be mad at myself that I didn’t follow through. Ahh, wishing myself luck. You got this dre!

[diaryofbh]

i haven't been writing.

neither on here or in my journal.

and im frustrated with myself to be honest, because this has always been a way to collect my thoughts, talk it all out or just write it all down and then forget. but because i haven't been writing, i haven't been able to do all of that. its all stuck up there in my brain. when then leads to long nights spent scrolling, thinking, wondering, longing.

now i don't always want these posts to be about how im desperate and i want love (and maybe im still a bit heartbroken, but i can never really tell, even though it only comes in waves). but this one might end up being just that.

i haven't figured it out yet, i think i’ll let it be what i want it to be.

there have been a million things going on at the same time for quite a while now. which is probably part of the reason why i haven't been writing. but thats also not to say that i’ve been wasting a lot of that time scrolling or starting at my phone screen not being productive when i could, in fact, be using this time to write. or maybe even do that work that i know needs to be done.

i’m finding myself toeing the line a lot recently. pushing the boundaries to see how far i can go and still make it out alive and with a pleasing result. but i need to keep reminding myself that this shit isn’t going to cut it for much longer. this tactic has only worked out of sheer luck alone, there is no positive aspects about this routine. and its a really bad habit that needs to be broken. because it will not serve me well in whatever life i create for myself.

thats another thing thats been on my mind. my future, particularly career plans. and im realizing that i’ve set myself up for a lot more work ahead, a lot more school, and even when im done with school, my work will require a lot of effort and dedication (not that other jobs don’t per se, but looking at it from afar it just seems like a lot to be doing for the rest of your life). and now i’m second guessing if its really what i want to do? and if i don’t, what else will i do? or will i be able to pick up a hobby (will i have TIME?) that will keep me satiated/sane enough in my regular job. i don’t know who i am and i don’t know what i want. i am very unsure.

but i’m running out of time to figure it out.

[farawaythinks]

I don’t know why I get so awkward when talking to people. Especially people I’ve never spoken to. Plus- it feels like I’m the only one feeling awkward and the other person is just chill. Because today the guy said he thought I was very shy but I’m actually easy to talk to or something like that. And I’m just there breaking into very embarrassing awkward laugh/chuckles. I was still able to hold the conversation and keep it going at times but don’t you sometimes just FEEL the awkward on your face? As if your facial muscles are not in the right position and your smile looks fake. I do feel very happy when a person talks to me and approaches me. Inside I really do. But when I’m talking it gets awkward. And its not just with guys its with girls too. And sometimes even with my best friends or just close friends. I’ll be really awkward at times and it’s just like ??? They’re like your family whats with this weird feeling?? Anyways yeah. Okie bai. 05/10/2018

[slarty1]

Written journal 37