#epi141

[the-punslinger]

Critical Role Quotes and Memorable Moments - Campaign 2 (118/?)

Kingsley: "You have a ship?" Fjord: "We do have a ship." Kingsley: "So, quick confession. For most of my life, I've wanted to be a pirate." Fjord: "Most of your life...?" Kingsley: "Since I heard you had a ship." Fjord: "Right." Kingsley: "So, I don't know if you need crew or something like that, or otherwise. I could learn, obviously. I think I can learn, probably learn. But Captain Kingsley, I mean not right away." Fjord: "We'll work on the positions." Kingsley: "Oh, I'm willing to work, but..." Fjord: "Have you any experience?" Kingsley: "Yes." Fjord: "Have you courage?" Kingsley: "Probably. Don't hit me." Fjord: "Be on me crew." Kingsley: "Oh, that will do." Fjord: "Of course, we'd love to have you." Jester: "I'll give you a tattoo. You can be a real member." Fjord: "Yeah, you have to bleed to get on the ship." Kingsley: "Oh, it shouldn't be a problem. Clearly I have no problem with that."

Matt: "It's at this moment, Kingsley that you get rocked hard on the shoulder by a group of other somewhat drunken individuals that are just pushing through the streets of Nicodranas. After the impact he turns around, he's like, 'Who the fuck...?!' Zenny, Zenny are these...?' And they go..." Liam: "Is it the bandits?" Zenny: "We are so sorry." Marisha: "The bandits." Travis: "Are you serious?" Zenny: "We had no...' and they just go running.'" Kingsley: "You've a lot of nerve coming back here after what you've done! Is that right?" Yasha: "Yeah!" Beau: " Yes!" Fjord: "You're going to make a great pirate. Are you kidding me? That was excellent. We need to get you a cutlass." Kingsley: "I don't know, I've got some ideas." Jester: "Pirate with a whip."

Jester: "I'll Send a message to Orly. 'Orly! It's me! There's a purple guy coming to join the crew, his name is Kingsley the Cutthroat. Make him feel at home. And! We're also going to join you.' Orly: "Mmm. I was sleeping." Beau: "Oh yeah, it's like 3:00am, shit." Orly: "But I can't deny the joy of hearing your voice, Jester. I'll be keeping an eye out." Jester: " I love Orly." Marisha: "Oh, he's the best."

Marisha: "Kingsley?" Taliesin: "Yeah, Scribbles?" Marisha: "Scribbles, that's great. You know, I'm the captain's first mate, so it's going to take you a while before you can get to, you know, my status, but I think in my stead, you know, just treat him with respect, okay? He's earned every single bit of it. Do what the captain tells you, okay?"

Matt: "Jester. In the time that you are getting ready in the morning to leave on your ship, and making your path." Sam and Ashley: "♪ Makin' your path ♪ Matt: "Damn it, I was hoping to avoid it!" Liam: ♪ Pathin' my way! ♪ Matt: "I hate you all."

[the-punslinger]

Critical Role Quotes and Memorable Moments - Campaign 2 (120/120)

Caleb: "Shortly after returning home from Eiselcross, I go to Blumenthal for the first time, and I know where the town cemetery is. And I find Una and Leofric, and sit down on the ground before them. And I unsnap the book harness on the left and I unsnap the book harness on the left, and take out the book of letters that I have been [starts to tear up] writing to them since I woke up with the intention of putting it in their hands. I have so much more work to do, trying to be the man you wanted me to be. I still hope to. And if I'm very lucky, I will see you on the other side. And I hold the book, and I cast Teleport, and send it into the earth between them. And I think for the rest of Caleb's life, he will teach. I think he will teach Luc, if his parents will have me." Veth: "Well, I had thought about possibly opening some sort of a little summer camp to teach young adventurers how to stealth, and sneak, and fire crossbows, and maybe learn a little magic, so if you'd like to come and be a counselor." Caleb: "I will do that in my off months."

Jester: "Are you saying we should go to the third temple?" Fjord: "I think we should try to find it. I mean, that's what responsible, you know, chosen of demigod should do. Right? Just from afar." Jester: "Check it out." Fjord: "Yeah." Laura: "Don't accidentally let out Uk'otoa." Travis: "No. Mm-mm." Party [whispering]: "Uk'otoa." Jester: "Because I'm getting real sick of these people attacking our ship." Fjord: "Oh right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Well, then maybe we'll accelerate those plans."

[Taliesin summarising Kingsley's life] Kingsley: "And I suppose I would ask for my own ship to serve your crew. And I rechristen that ship the Mollymauk. And one month later, we vanish in the middle of the night head straight to Darktow." Jester [gasps] Kingsley: "I leave a note that expresses how grateful I am for everything you've done, and for everything you've taught me, and that I will gladly and always be your humble servant. Except, of course, for the fact that I've never giving back the ship and I make my way to join the Revelry." Sam and Marisha: " ♪ Makin' my way! ♪ Kingsley: "And perhaps those... Perhaps those chains will find some quiet in piracy."

Matt: "A tale of seven friends, who became eight, then nine. Wild swells of adventure, and love, and guilt, and redemption. Family. Truth. This story comes to a close tonight, but the tale of the Mighty Nein lives on, and who knows, maybe we'll have the chance to see some of them again in some shape or form. [sniffling] I love you guys so much." Liam: "Thanks for a good story, Matt." Sam: "It was pretty good." Ashley: "Yeah, it was." Marisha: "Yeah." Travis: "Let's do it again." Sam: "Yeah." Marisha: "From the top." Matt: "Yeah." Liam: "Reset like Mollymauk."

[the-punslinger]

Critical Role Quotes and Memorable Moments - Campaign 2 (114/?)

Veth: "Bonus action, will cast Brenatto's Voltaic Bolt at 3rd-level and charge up the bolt. Not going to use it yet, though. Instead, I don't know what they look like, but I imagine a silhouette I can figure out. So with the burning house behind Caleb, I'm going to have the silhouettes of what I imagine his mother and father to sort of look like, appear flanking him and just sort of pointing, pointing at Trent Ikithon." Travis: " Wow." Sam: "With Silent Image." Matt: "Okay. Okay." Liam: "Got me."

Matt: "As you [Caleb] have your hands on the device [Anti-mage collar], a second set of hands comes and pushes yours aside as Astrid begins to bend down. [rolls] Natural 16 plus eight. The side that you're holding, she glances over and finds one trigger that had come loose. She presses it back into place. Squeezes your hand and at once, you hit both sides of the red gem that you had embedded as the power source [makes buzzing sounds] flickers on with a buzz." Beau: "Watch your fingers." Matt: "And Trent suddenly goes like [choking noises]." Caleb [to Astrid]: "You were always better at solving problems than I was."

Caduceus: "And Clay who has been casting a spell for the last minute turns around with deep black pit eyes: 'The Matron has special destinations for people who burn temples. So why don't you put your back into this?' And I go back to having conjured a couatl to putting out the fucking fire." Eadwulf: "Mm! Fair enough." Matt: "He goes 'Mm, right.' And he begins to... what can he do?" Fjord: "'What can you do, Eadwulf?' I Control Water from the pond. 'Look what I'm doing.'"

Matt: "He looks at that, looks over at you. 'Do you have a bucket?'" Caduceus: "If they're still working, yes." Matt: "He shields himself and darts into the house which is now maybe about a third of its exterior covers in flames."

Fjord: "I'll turn and at 5th-level, I'm going to cast Create Water in a 30-foot cube above Caduceus' house, that just creates a 50 gallon torrential rain above it. And I'm going to say: 'Jester, will you come over here?'" Jester: "Oh, yeah... Oh, his hair was so gross, Fjord. [gags] Yeah, what can I do?" Fjord: "Standing in the rain, I turn to her and I say 'I love you too.' Then I kiss her." Jester: "I make sure my hands are not touching him, but I kiss him back."

Caduceus: "I have decided to take this thing that you have done to me and my family as a opportunity to teach a lesson. I don't know if you can truly understand what I'm feeling right now, if you have the imagination for how much hurt this is. But I would like you to empathize with me, and I cast Command. 'Empathize!'" Travis: "One word." Liam: "Wow." Jester: "Feel it all." Matt: "He just smiles back." Caduceus: "'Empathize!' Command again." Marisha: "Wow, I've never seen Caduceus this pissed." Caduceus: "Empathize!" Matt: "Just keeps grinning back at you..." Caduceus: "Empathize!" Matt: "How many spell slots do you have left?" Taliesin: "Let's see. That's a good question." Sam: "Day 13." Matt: "That's four 1st-level spells at least you cast. Succeeds on that one, too." Caduceus: "One, two, three, four...Empathize!" Matt: "Okay, he succeeds." Caduceus: "Empathize!" Matt: "Succeeds, natural 20." Caduceus: "I'll keep going." Fjord: "I put my hand on Caduceus' shoulder, and at 5th-level, I cast Command and say 'Empathize!'" Matt: "So what's the 5th-level one do now?" Travis: "The 5th-level save's 18." Laura: "Just again, another one. Just a higher level." Matt: "Natural 20, saves again." Beau: "He is a sick fuck." Caduceus: "Empathize!" Matt: "Saves." Caduceus: "Empathize!" Matt: "No, he succeeds." Travis: "You got to respect it, it's pretty good." Sam: " He's a dick." Liam: "Yeah, he's a piece of shit." Matt: "He succeeds." Marisha: "He's a piece of shit. Wow!" Caduceus: "Empathize!" Matt: "He's got a high..." Travis: "Energize!" Caduceus: "As he slowly falls asleep, I just want him to hear 'Well, don't worry, we can try again tomorrow.'"

[the-punslinger]

Critical Role Quotes and Memorable Moments - Campaign 2 (113/?)

Matt: "She seems to be enhanced by some sort of arcane element. And there's this strange, almost a rhythmic-like pulse to the tattoos on her arm and the glowing of energy. So that's her bonus action." Marisha: "Damn it! That's cool." Sam: "She's juicing."

Travis: "You excited? Hexblade's Curse." Matt: "Ah. There you go." Travis: "Bonus action." Laura: "Yeah, it's hot." Marisha: "Ah! Ooh!" Laura: "Oh my." Travis: "What?" Sam: "You're having hex with each other." Travis: "We're in hex, bitch!" Matt: "That finish your turn, Fjord?" Travis: "Yes." Liam: " ♪ I wanna hex you up ♪

Sam: "I had two fluffs. I used the one that you had me put an asterisk next to because it was more well-made. And I will, trying to remember the motions and movements that Caleb does when he cast this spell, I will lift up my hand and it catches on fire and I will then shoot a beam of fire right at my Fluffernutter bomb and try to explode it." Matt: "Oh shit! You casting Fireball?" Sam: " I'm casting Caleb's Produce Flame. My wizard spell that I have."

Liam: "I think that he-- He cast Time Stop, which means that we were all frozen like this and he did a bunch of things, got them going." Laura: "Oh, that's awesome." Ashley: "Okay." Marisha: "That is really cool." Laura: "You need to learn that, Caleb." Liam: "Sorry, too busy dying."

Travis: "He had a second shield up, and it was just dispelled!" Liam: "I love my friends!" Sam: "And now he's got a third." Matt: "So that's your action?" Travis: "Is there a third? Is there a third?" Matt: "You'll find out." Travis: "Oh! God! Fuck!" Liam: "Triple-decker."

Marisha: "Okay. I'm going to rear up a little bit. Step of the Wind." Matt: "Okay." Marisha: "I'm going to Naruto-run across this branch. And as I..." Liam: "Fucking love it." Marisha: "As I fly off of the edge of the branch, I'm going to say: 'Veth, now!'" Sam: "I watch her do monk shit, but is it dope? Because I said I was holding [my action] for dope monk shit." Matt: "Are you doing a running jump?" Sam: "Is this dope?" Marisha: "I'm doing a running jump." Matt: "Go ahead and roll an athletics check for me." Sam: "If it's dope..." Matt: "It's pretty dope." Sam: "I'm going to blow my gust of wind and propel her an extra 15 feet." Marisha: "As I arc down, I have the collar in hand. I'm going to attempt to whip it around his neck."

Marisha: "As I come down..." Matt: "I'm going to consider this a grapple check." Liam: "Does he say 'Diplomatic immunity' as she approaches?"

Laura: "They see it, they see the end, they know." Marisha: "I'm so parched, I got cotton mouth." Matt: "So, Fjord, describe how you counter this?" Travis: "Well, I see Beau get up there [switches to Southern accent] and just start riding, a solid eight seconds, one hand up. And I see Trent starting to conjure [and say] 'Nah, she rides bareback real solid'" Marisha: "Texblade is back!" Matt: "And right as he gathers the energy in the center and puts his arms out to create the doorway that folds on him, the doorway just fizzles." Laura [Southern accent]: "Like a turtle trying to fuck." Matt [high-pitched noises] Travis: "Didn't you say something about facing your fate?"

[the-punslinger]

Critical Role Quotes and Memorable Moments - Campaign 2 (109/?)

Matt [recapping]: "[You] managed to bring your lost friends back from the brink of oblivion. From there, you pulled the body of Lucien from the... skin cradle, I don't know what to call it." Laura: "Ew. Never say "skin cradle" again." Travis: "Jesus!" Travis: "Skin fold. That was my industrial band in high school, Skin Cradle." Taliesin: "Classic."

Matt: "You see Clarabelle glance over and go, 'Caduceus!' and just throws the weeds behind her and rushes in and just goes for a huge hug around your waist." Taliesin: " Ow, gently." Sam: "Is she like way older than we saw her last time?" Matt: "She is 300 years - No, just kidding."

Jester [to Molly]: "Do you need anything to eat?" Taliesin: "Empty, empty." Jester: "Empty stomach? We'll get you some food. I'll be right back, okay?" Taliesin: "He goes back to looking in the pond." Veth: "Do you think that he's sort of like Kiri? Maybe you should teach him how to say, 'Go fuck yourself.'" Jester "Hey, Molly! Go fuck yourself!"

Veth: "Is Nicodranas safe?" Jester: "I don't know yet. There's a lot of, um, variables." Beau: "How long have we been gone?" Jester: "Feels like years, but I think it's only been a few days." Sam: "You, you boy, is it Christmas Eve? Fetch me a goose."

Veth: "He remembers how to eat." Jester: "Yeah, I wasn't sure." Veth: "Yeah." Matt: "But does he remember how to poop?" Veth: "Oh no." Taliesin [making groaning noises]" Travis [making poop noises]

Laura: "Sorry, Sprinkle, you're stuck with me! [cackles]" Travis [as Sprinkle] "Please, no."

[Caleb’s emotional farewell to Frumpkin]

Caleb: "No question. This group. This group is something else. They're easy to dismiss, but everyone who has done so has paid the consequences for it." Jester: "Yeah." Caleb: "A special kind of magic that they don't teach you in school. Thank you, Jester." Jester: "For what?" Caleb: "Oh, the last couple years. Thank you for being such a good friend." Jester: "Of course, Caleb. You're a good person." Caleb: "[sighs] I...could be." Laura: "You are." Liam: "There's just a little more to do." Essek: "She's not wrong. Trust me. I know a few bad people. You're not one of them." Marisha: "Do you say the same for yourself?" Matt: "I do not think it is a luxury anyone has, to call themselves good or bad. I think that is a label for others to present." Marisha: "I like that. I think you're a good person. And that's a lot, coming from me, because you're a fucking war criminal."

[the-punslinger]

Critical Role Quotes and Memorable Moments - Campaign 2 (112/?)

Matt: "It's about this time that the door opens to the storeroom and the guy who's been knocking on it goes 'Your mom's home!' [door creaking open] The door opens just slightly. 'I said your mom's - Ow, god!'" Veth: "You should have watched out." Matt: "And you just, you just see hitting the ground this little wooden dowel [ting, ting, ting]". 'Ah, you son of a - !'" Veth: "Son of a what?" Guy: "'Of a wonderful woman.'" Veth: "I'll flip him a gold piece." Matt: "Catches it begrudgingly and walks off as the door opens and Luc pokes around." Veth: "Nice shot." Luc: "Yeah, it was pretty cool."

Sam: "Yeah, it's magic. You can walk on water. So what you can do is with your friends, you can be like, 'Oh, let's have a swimming race' or something and you jump in and they sink to the fucking bottom. I'm sorry, sorry, I'm used to being around adults. Anyway, and you can walk in and play a great prank on them. You'll be able to walk on water." Matt: "That's amazing!" Sam: "Yeah." Matt: "Looks over to Yeza. 'Dad, I won't sink to the fucking bottom!'" Veth: "Shit."

Matt: "You can see just outside of the room now, there's Luc who's yelling at the bartender, 'I need a lot of water!' And the guy's like 'How much do you need? What do you need it for?' He's like 'A lot of it! I need to not fucking sink!'"

[As things suddenly get much darker in the Clay family home as Trent Ikithon appears] Travis: "He fucking Matrixed us." Marisha: "Yeah, he did, he did exactly that. They changed the code." Yasha: "Caduceus, do you board up your windows with stone?" Caduceus: " No." Yasha: "Well, he's locked us in. It's a trap. I'm sure." Travis: "Thank god for Yasha." Yasha: "Well, you know, I got to tell it like it is."

Matt: "Oh no, where did my Fjord mini go?" Sam: "Oh no. Well, sorry, Travis." Matt: "Sorry, Fjord, you're not in the battle." Sam: "Guess you can go home early tonight." Travis: "Figure." Matt: "Real tough call there. Oh, there it is. I found it." Sam: "Whew." Travis: "'Tough call'?" [laughs sarcastically] Sam: "He just put you just next to a body of water, because Uk'otoa's in it." Travis: " Shut up!"

Veth: "Yeza, I cannot believe I'm saying this right now... but you need to run into the forest while I go take care of this just like... just like before." Matt: "There's a brief moment where his eyes go wide with memory recall." Travis: "You're gettin' divorced, dude. He is leaving your ass."

Caleb: "He countered my Counterspell." Travis: "Oh shit!" Marisha: "That old bag of tricks." Laura: "Oh god, this is a wizard fight. This is wizard's chess."

Matt: "You take 26 points necrotic damage. And you watch as all of the grass and the shrubs and the ferns and all plant life in the vicinity around you turns black and curls into ash and dust around you, as you both feel the life force pulled out from under you." Sam: "Not Henry Crabgrass." Laura: "You didn't ask first. Ah!"

[the-punslinger]

Critical Role Quotes and Memorable Moments - Campaign 2 (110/?)

Fjord [snoring]: "Hey, we did it." Jester: "Yeah, we did. Hey, Fjord?" Fjord: "Yeah?" Fjord: "I love you." Sam [gasps] Laura: "Don't say anything! I'm just going to bury my head." Fjord: "What?" Jester: "Don't say it, just shut up, go to sleep." Fjord: "You sure?" Jester: "Yeah, go to sleep, go to sleep!" Fjord: "Okay." Jester: "I cast Modify Memory." Travis: "Just shove a cupcake in his mouth." Laura: "I try, but I don't have it. I don't have any spells left, and I'm like: 'Shit, shit!'" Matt: "That's so good. Liam: "'You murdered your whole family!'" Marisha: "Wait, don't send, don't send, shit, shit!"

Veth [enjoying The Blooming Grove]: "It's nice. Yeah. Just sit there for awhile, and then, feeling a bit tired, I'll gather my stuff, and load the girls back in [gestures, and..." Matt: "Jesus Christ."

[After Jester sent a message to Yeza as Veth] Caleb ['copying' Veth]: "It's me. Your old friend, Veth Brenatto." Sam: "You know how to say my name!" Liam: "It's me, Breath Venado." Marisha: "Breath Venado." Travis: "Breathnado."

Yasha: "[Molly]'s talking!" Jester: "He's talking." Beau: "He doesn't remember a lot." Yasha: "Hi." Veth: "We just taught him Common." Yasha: "That can't be..." Veth: "While you stepped out for a second, we taught him Common." Molly: "She's utterly full of shit."

[As Jester is making Kingsley some clothes] Marisha: "A vest, but with the same embroidery." Travis: "Packed in there." Marisha: " Just look like a substitute teacher." Liam: "Or a little organ grinder monkey outfit." Travis: "I loved those teachers."

Jester: “I'll start to work on the parasol. But it's not going to be really frilly and lacy like the last one I made you. This one will be Essek-y." Travis: "What's a parasol? Is that like a poncho?" Laura: "It's like a umbrella." Travis: "Oh, right, right, right." Marisha: "A poncho on a stick." Matt: "'Poncho on a stick.'" Travis: " Parasol. Just call it an umbrella."

Kingsley: "I look like your friend, but I don't think I'm him. Is that going to be all right in the long run?" Sam: "We'll make friends with you." Ashley: "Yes, of course." Travis: "No, you have to be our friend or we'll kill you." Marisha: "Honestly, we've already been through this once, so I think we're a little bit more emotionally prepared for it." Liam: "Yeah. We have a habit of taking in strays." Essek: "That is very true."

[the-punslinger]

Critical Role Quotes and Memorable Moments - Campaign 2 (117/?)

Fjord: "We could make this our port." Jester: "Old Nicodranas?" Fjord: "Yeah. I mean, Damali was... I have some stuff I want to tie up there at some point, but this city really is beautiful." Jester: "I agree. There's always a home for us here." Fjord: "With your mom?" Jester: "I mean, it's free room and board, you know, somewhere to stay." Fjord: "I mean, I don't know, maybe we... we could get our, you know, our own place. I mean, only because sharing the financial burden would be a smart move in these post-Aeorian times. Just think about it, you don't have to answer now." Jester [sputtering]: "I mean..." Fjord: "You know what, don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything. No, no, no, don't say anything. I cast Modify Memory." Jester: "Yes. Yes. That sounds like a really wonderful idea." Fjord: "Cool, cool, cool, cool."

Veth: "Well, good luck, I'm sure you'll all do great and clear our names and everything. It's been wonderful spending time with all of you. [to Caleb] I know I'll see you again. [to the rest] I hope I'll see you guys. If you'll come visit. Fjord, you know, either way."

Caleb: "He just scoops her up and stands lifting her and gives her the biggest strongest hug that he's able to with his measly strength and says: You are my best friend in this world. You found me at my lowest, and now we are here. You did that, Veth The Brave." Veth: "We did it together and because this is the end of a chapter, if I may, I'd like to make a wish. I'd like you to... to finally step out of the cell that you're in. You've been trapped by your past for so long. And... you know, we all-- we all try to help you out of it, but there's some locks that even I can't pick. But you can, if you take the step and walk away from everything that you regret and all your sins, and realize how good a person you are, and how much you matter to everyone around you. You can have an amazing life. The past made you who you are, but it doesn't control you. Because of it, you brought us together and because of it, we had this amazing journey together. So... yes, you've convinced me I'm brave, but you are mighty and you should go forth and be happy." Caleb: "Well, you and the Nein got me to the door. Now I have to walk through it. I will, soon." Veth: "I'll watch." Caleb: "Soon." Veth: "Good luck." Caleb: "I will take your halfling luck." Veth: "I don't need it." Caleb: "It's true."