#epicredvines

[sunshineoptimismandangels]

epicredvines replied to your post: Sometimes all I want in the world is a piece of...

I’m going to bake you a chocolate cake.

You have now become my favorite person ever.

[youwillseejusthowcooliam-blog]

I was talking to my friend the other day about uni, and I was saying that I hope to meet a Potterhead, and a Sherlockian, and a Starkid, and a Whovian, and then she just screamed 'YOU AREN'T GOING TO MEET TUMBLR'.

[youwillseejusthowcooliam-blog]

LET'S PARTY LIKE IT'S a good time to party, because we enjoy that.

BITCHES BE JEALOUS that I took my female dog to a more superior vet.

DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT because I forgot to put on my oven mitts.

WE GON GET CRAZY, she's a friend of mine.

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH but then stopped because I felt sick.

I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU SCREAM because rollarcoasters are good.

I GOTZ A GRAM OF COKE, sorry, I meant can, would you like some?

DAMN GURL YOU GOTZ FINE WRITTEN ALL OVER YOU, did someone write on you whilst you slept?

I PLAYED WITH THAT PUSSY ALL NIGHT LONG, my new cat sure is playful.

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU SO HARD after I fire you up in the oven, little clay figure.

SMACK THAT GET ON THE FLOOR because I fell over after serving in tennis.

BITCHES BE TRIPPING because they didn't tie their shoe laces.

C'MON RUDE BOY BOY CAN YOU GET IT UP I need this shelf up by the end of the day, and please stop swearing.

I JUST WANNA MAKE YOU SWEAT because that's my job, I'm a steam room.

SPREAD THE LEGS AND PUT MY FIST INSIDE I hate preparing the turkey for Sunday Lunch.

YOU'RE GONNA GET NAILED TONIGHT come on hammer, let's put this frame up.

I'M GONNA POUND THAT SO HARD because that meat needs to be tenderised.

I'LL BURST YE because I can't open the crisp packet any other way.

LOOK AT THAT COCK sorry I meant dock it has a lot of boats.

LOOK AT THAT DICK Richard is just over there.

LET ME LICK YOU UP AND DOWN oh lollipop, you taste so nice.

I'MMA GET YOU WRITHING because I'm a snake handler.

I HATE THAT MOTHERFUCKER dad won't let me out this weekend.

DAMN LOOK AT THOSE LEGS on the table, aren't they well crafted.

I WILL FIST YOU DO HARD because you're a punch bag.

TAKE ME NOW because I've been waiting for a lift for ages.

PUSH IT REAL GOOD the button is pretty stiff.

I'LL BE WALKING FUNNY TOMORROW because I stubbed my toe.

I'LL TAKE YOU ALL THE WAY because driving halfway would be rude.

AFTER TONIGHT YOU'RE GING TO NEED A WHEELCHAIR because I'll break your legs while you sleep.

[madebyewa]

You're beautiful :)

so are you <3