In anticipation of the anxiety I feel as a goal keeper when I’m in the goals, I am currently driving myself a bit mad. I really need to chill the fuck out. The over thinking I do is so damaging to my confidence. I keep shitting on myself about not having the instinct of diving but that’s because I’ve only been goaly a few weeks, I only learnt how to dive last fucking Monday! And I have so many bruises to show for it! I need to remember that I’ve done my part in training and all I’m going to do is my best and whatever that brings is what it brings. Whatever happens, happens. And my team is going to love me for it, even if I’m shit because me being in goals stops them from having to do it and they all hate it! I fucking love it, I think it is bad-assery. And I reckon by the end of this season diving will be my instinct because I’m working hard towards that goal.
Also I just realised, there’s no point in being scared about that anxiety because I have felt every other sort of anxiety so what’s this one form of it going to do to me? I’m giving it power by worrying about it SO NO MORE. FUCK THAT. I AINT SCARED BITCHESSS!