So I was raised in a non-reform, pretty strict community, meaning that homophobia is very much present. (My dad freely uses the f slur in the community and the rabbi has said he would hesitate to let LGBT folk into services.) I would like help on reconciling my lesbian identity with my Jewish one, since the way I've been raised the two don't really seem to mesh. Thank you.
I was raised in a Chassidic Orthodox community, and so I feel your pain and conflict. It's a really hard journey, and ultimately it's yours alone. For me, I reconciled my trans and bi identity (originally I identified as lesbian, too) with learning about non-cis heteronormative figures in the Tanakh and in Jewish history. I read Jewish homoerotic poetry from the middle ages, and I connected with other LGBTQ+ people with similar backgrounds to mine.
I highly suggest connecting with Jewish Queer Youth (JQY), an organization advocating for community and acceptance for LGBTQ+ youth and parents in Orthodox, Chassidic, and more observant communities.
Another great organization is Eshel, which works on creating inclusion for LGBTQ+ people within Orthodox communities, and also has resources with Halakhic values on including LGBTQ+ people.
Yet another organization is Sephardic Mizrahi Q Network (SMQN) which focuses on creating acceptence and pride for LGBTQ+ people within Sephardi and Mizrachi communities.
Finally, there's also Keshet, which works on fostering equality and community for all LGBTQ+ Jews.
JQY and Eshel are tailored specifically for LGBTQ+ people from Orthodox, Chassidic, Chareidi, and other more socially conservative and observant communites, and there are so many resources they have that you can use. They have Zoom session, in-person meet-ups for some cities, and places to ask questions and talk with other LGBTQ+ people, Rabbis, and mental health professionals.
I am sending so many solidarity hugs your way, I know it can be so difficult trying to reconcile two seemingly opposing identities, and I wish you so so much luck and love on your journey.
May this new year bring you love, acceptence, and community, my friend. Shana Tova U'Metukah.
