Completed week one of esketamine. No change. 😭 Like, I had to wake DH up at 10am this morning and tell him to get up and he still didn’t get out of bed.
The nurse practitioner decided yesterday that they will increase his esketamine dose. He goes back Monday so the change will probably not go through until Thursday due to insurance lag time.
I am beyond despair at this point. I’m not sure what comes after that. DH basically said he didn’t want to face the day today which is why he couldn’t get out of bed. Meanwhile I’ve been up with kids doing all of the chores, herding them through their routines and getting them out the door to where they need to be since 7am.
I’m tired. And just completed defeated. I’m married to someone who cannot find the energy to face the day for his wife or his kids. It’s a 💩y feeling and difficult to want to keep trying.
Meanwhile, he is refusing to job hunt because he doesn’t want to do something he doesn’t like. If you ask him what he wants to do, he’ll tell you he doesn’t know. New worry unlocked—I will be financially supporting us through the actual duration of our working years AND our retirement.
