#essence0faugust

[essence0faugust]

so.. me and my boyfriend of 5 years broke up and i’m just.. so devastated.. absolutely utterly broken..

he’s been there for me, always.. he’s guided me through life and difficult situations that came along the way, helped me out of dark places and discover a light called hope..

he meant the absolute world to me; i was so convinced he’d be my first real boyfriend, first kiss, everything. i centered my life around him.. for 5 whole years..

how we ended was a mess; absolutely awful.. it took reaching out to one of his friends to get a response after being blatantly ignored.. he seemed so.. cold.. so distant; and while granted he was never necessarily warm and fuzzy i just felt a mile apart from him, despite him knowing me better than i know myself..

who’s going to encourage me to eat, to work towards my goals, motivate me to study and complete my assignments.. who’s going calm me down from an anxiety attack, or help me get out of a depressive episode.. who’s going to feed me kinds words about the body i’ve grown to hate and mutilate..

who’s going to skype me until 2am and talk about silly things or serious things like our future and how i wanted a pink bathroom.. who’s going to answer all my questions that google could’ve easily provided within seconds, but i preferred hearing from him..

all in all; healing is going to take a long, long time.

the path is going to be cold and dark, without my shining light. toxic thoughts of insecurity and worthlessness will plague me; it’ll be scary—terrifying even. but i must walk my path without him holding my hand.

i have to blossom without him watering me. i have to live without him.

[essence0faugust]

38, 47 49

38. where would you like to travel?: my top 3 destinations are japan, south korea and hong-kong!!! i’m teaching myself japanese and korean at the moment and hong-kong looks so pretty.. 47. are you afraid of the dark?: yesss i’m terrified of the dark i can’t go downstairs if it’s dark or if i turn off the lights i zoom up the stairs 49. do you sleep with stuffed animals?: i have this cat stuffy that i always hold onto the leg when i sleep and then my pet cat sleeps on the edge of my bed without either i can’t sleep at all

[essence0faugust]

7 & 17 !

7. do you have/want any tattoos?: nope!!! i want a small, significant one for my 18th birthday but i’m terrified of needles and pain so i’m not sure it’ll work out tbh..17. favorite color?: i have a pink aesthetic but i only wear monochromes like black and gray; pink doesn’t flatter me sadly.. ):

[hqhaikyuu]

@essence0faugust replied to your post: I cried from the simple scenes of tsuk...

omfg when i saw akaashi i screamed and cried at the same time and i think i broke my throat

it’s gonna be a long season

[hqhaikyuu]

essence0faugust replied to your post: anonymous asked:"Oh raisin-senpai...

oh my gOD

me too, buddy, me too

[roxoah]

you and andi finally met, awh! i remember you two knew each other for quite the while, it gives me hope that if i'm patient and try hard enough, i'll see my bf of 3 years soon. you two have fun in my homeland, share lots of smiles and treasure every moment! (eat lots of pasta too it's good i promise) ^-^

Yeah!!

I’m sure you can meet your bf. The only thing that’s really needed is money for a plane ticket and planning out your trip. It’s surprisingly easy imo. 

I’m having fun! And I’ve eaten pasta too. Andi’s mother made some for us last night. The dessert was so good though.. They were profiteroles. 

[honeygoro]

might you know when the owari no seraph manga is updated? i just finished it up to date yesterday so! and where it left off i'm :'-)))

It updates every month! 

omg yeah the last chapter ends at such a frustrating place ughgh >.>;;

[hqhaikyuu]

essence0faugust replied to your post: if kuroo and tsukishima had a tumblr w...

kuroo’s would most likely be a pun of some sort; and tsukki would be generic as heck like din0-saur (how do you spell dinosaur?? english is like my 3rd language heck)

aH i just saw this now sorry

but yeah def, hhh thank