#essie stoley

[the-parentheticals]

Esther on phone to Kevin: Hello?

Kevin: Hey, what’s up?

Esther: I need your help, can you come here?

Kevin: I can’t I’m buying clothes.

Esther: Alright, well hurry up and come over here.

Kevin: I can’t find them.

Esther: What do you mean you can’t find them?

Kevin: I can’t find them, there’s only soup.

Esther: What do you mean there’s only soup?

Kevin: It means there’s only soup.

Esther: WELL THEN GET OUT OF THE SOUP AISLE!

Kevin: Alright you don’t have to shout at me!

Kevin: There’s more soup.

Esther: What do you mean there’s more soup!?

Kevin: There’s just more soup!

Esther: Go into the next aisle!

Kevin: There’s still soup.

Esther: Where are you right now!?

Kevin: I’m at soup!

Esther: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE AT SOUP!?

Kevin: I MEAN I’M AT SOUP!

Esther : WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?

Kevin: I’M AT THE SOUP STORE!

Esther: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE!?

[the-parentheticals]

Bradley: *to Kevin* Did you notice how hot your sister has gotten?

Kevin: *glares*

Bradley: Because I have not!

[the-parentheticals]

Bradley, holding a stuffed animal: And they say no one beats the claw machine!

Kevin: Aren't you going to give it to Essie?

Bradley: She won it for me!

[the-parentheticals]

[meeting Esther]

Bradley: Is, uh, is she dangerous?

Kevin: Actually, she's a genius.

Esther: I am.

Bradley: That doesn't answer my question.

[the-parentheticals]

Bradley: Is this the part where you tell me that if I hurt her you’ll kill me?

Kevin: No, if you hurt Essie, she is perfectly capable of killing you herself.

[the-parentheticals]

Kevin: Sorry, lost my cool for a second.

Esther: Can’t lose something you never had.

[the-parentheticals]

Bradley: Do I have a crush on Essie? Of course not! Why would you even ask me such a thing?

Kevin: Uh, I didn't ask you anything.

[the-parentheticals]

Kevin: It's really muggy out today.

Esther: I swear to God, if I go outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm disowning you.

Kevin: [sips coffee from a bowl]