If there is one thing I have learned in my almost 30 years its to never say never; to anything. The more confident your “never” is, the bigger chance of it happening. I feel like it has become a game for me... I tell myself that something will never happen or “I’ll NEVER do that and low and behold I’m once again proven wrong. Here is a short list of things I had sworn off yet ended up hapening... moving back into my parents house as an adult, getting married before I was a college graduate, sewing, white water kayaking, gardening, any kind of interest in flowers, eating broccoli, being obsessed with zucchini, breastfeeding my children for 2 years, co sleeping, enjoying running, the list could go on for quite some time. However, the biggest never that has happened in my life, the thing I swore would NEVER EVER happen to me... a simple southern girl who dreamed of raising kids and having her own happily ever after; is the ugly, hidden, stereotyped, “D” word. I just knew growing up that I would go to college, fall in love, graduate as a nurse, get married to the perfect man, and become a stay at home mom raising kids in a 2 story house that resembled the one Noah built in the Notebook. (My husband would also look like Noah haha). Actually, a year ago I still swore off divorce. I was becoming more unhappy in my marriage but in my non confrontational mind I would just deal with it and find a way to have a happy family. I am happy to say my “never” changed, and it changed in an instant. I even shocked myself. Things went downhill very fast toward the end of my marriage and I was miserable and my kids could tell which broke my heart. I’m pretty sure the big man upstairs purposely helped me find things out so that I would stop being in denial and making excuses. I was miserable yet I was still more worried about being that girl that was divorced at 30. I will never forget when my sister looked at me like I had lost my mind when I told her I didn’t want to be stereotyped under the category of divorced, especially at the age of 30. The simple phrase “your happiness and safety (and the boys) is FAR more important than what any other person on this earth might think” changed my opinion on the matter, instantly. I hate that my kids will grow up in a split home, I hate that what I just knew would last forever, is over, I hate that I lost people that were my family for 7 years. However, what I don’t hate is truly being happy again, not being spoken to in a demeaning way, having a voice, and the thought that one day I might have a family that actually functions as one. I finally opened my eyes and saw that I was not living the life I wanted or even needed. My 2 precious boys were not being raised in a happy home and I needed to change that. It’s not a decision I ever thought I would make, but I did and I can say that despite our country’s views on divorce I know that one day I will look back and thank myself for getting out earlier than later. Im actually not yet 30 (until September) and am only separated (until January). So, January of 2017 I will be a single mom at age 30 to a spunky, determined, affectionate 5 year old, and a jabbering, laughing, on the go, typical 2 year old. I will be creating and sewing for a living, getting ready to start my vegetable garden for the spring, co sleeping with both my boys, and divorced. I said never to many things, but “never”, happened and now I stand At The Helm of my life; my ship. I am ready for the future and to be the skipperette of what life might throw at my ship. https://www.etsy.com/shop/HelmsHems?ref=hdr_shop_menu