EUNOIA - chapter 2
Chapter 1
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“I met Donghae yesterday.”
That’s how Taemin greets his sister on a random phone call one afternoon. As hard as she tried to be chill about it, Eunsook cannot help but shake in panic, intrigued by his words. She ran to the closest bench she could find and put her camera safely on her laps.
“You know that we’re adults, right? We don’t need to inform each other anymore like when we were kids and used to match our scenario to lie to Mom and Dad.”
The tremble on her lips seemed readable from the other line, making Taemin snickers on his bed.
“And since we’re adults it means now we lie to each other instead to our parents? Wow. Just wow, Lee Eunsook.”
“As I remember you were the one who banned me for weeping around on anyone whom acquaintance with him. Am I right?”
“You are. You’re always right beside this particular choice on men.”
“So?”
“I just let you know that yesterday I met Donghae.”
“Just let me know? You think I didn’t know how sneaky you are telling me stuff just because you are childishly curious on how I would react? Well, try harder, baby boy.”
“My smart lady. I always knew you went to Milan not for nothing.”
“Ha. So funny.”
“Do you want me to tell you what happened or I need to wait for another year until you gather up your guts to ask me how it went?”
“Actually, I don’t really care. That wouldn’t change anything, would that?”
“It depends, though.”
“On what? On how I handle stuff? On how bad my mood right now? Or maybe, just maybe, on how bad I weep last night?”
So she still cried miserably at night?
Taemin sighed and Eunsook regrets raising her tones, unveiled her unstable mind unconsciously. However, she didn’t lie when she said she doesn’t really care since she would still be broken hearted and desperately wants to turn back time hoping she could fix any mistake they did during their relationship. Or more like what mistake she did.
“Donghae asked how you are doing.”
“You can tell him that I’m fine, having a really nice summer escapades and eating lots of good food. Really, I think I will gain at least five pounds by the end of the trip.”
“Unless it’s not really Donghae who asked.”
“I know.”
“No you don’t.”
Eunsook scribbled on the ground with her shoes, making random pattern on it, “Yes I do, Tae. Because he texted me two days ago and I kept writing and deleting my rant until this morning on how I’m doing now after he decided not to be in the same page with me anymore. Believe me I know, because this is the first time I didn’t reply on him right away after I saw his name appeared on my screen.”
Taemin doesn’t say anything and just listened to the sound of the wind, trying to not make everything more complicated for his sister.
“Maybe he overestimated me.. thinking that I would be just alright after everything. Having a blast in Netherlands, enjoying summer, going shopping and meeting my best friend after a long time. You know I always this ‘his strong woman’ or.. or ‘his only iron lady’ you know.. So this trip, couldn’t it be better than that?”
“Don’t resent anyone. You’re the one who said to me that this is the best way for both of you to be happier.”
“I told you maybe.”
“Anyway, I said that you’re fine. A little tired and overwhelmed but you’re good now.”
“Should I thank you for giving the wise back up and being the best brother in the world?”
“Not really. Because I told Donghae as well how you’re calling me every day at 3 AM mopping around threatening people you’d kill yourself if tomorrow you’re wake up and everything is not only in your dream.”
“You should have added the part I didn’t eat anything for a week and ran into the emergency room when my coworker found me passed out at the toilet.”
“Ah, if only you did a proper briefing before.”
She’s really grateful for the fact that she might really have the best brother in the world. Taemin never fail making her laughed. Though he had this ice prince exterior, his heart is the warmest, far from all the cold and mischievous image people around him familiar with.
“Now that I told you what to do, can you fix that when you met him again?”
“Let see. I got studio schedule again tomorrow and he will be the producer assistant the whole week. Yeah sure, I will tell him everything until the IV shot part.”
“Good boy.”
“I know I am.”
“And stop texting or calling Minho behind my back. It’s embarrassing.”
Now it’s Taemin turn to burst into laughter. It’s still stuck in his head how he decided to call Minho instead of his wife because Taemin couldn’t stand the idea of being yelled or interrogated by Junghee. That girl can speak two hours nonstop without giving break the other person.
“I’ll go to sleep now, it’s almost midnight here. Be good, sister.”
“Don’t wet the bed.”
“I’ve had my diaper on, no need to worry. I love you!”
“I love you, too!”
The second she put the phone down, Eunsook feels lonely again. Actually, she prefers having endless argument with anyone rather than swimming in her own thoughts. Inevitably, she checked the phone again. Rereading the text Jungsoo sent two days ago.
‘Good morning, sunshine! How’s the vacation?’
Ah, sunshine. It was nice to be sunshine for someone, a thought cross Eunsook’s mind. It was. She was sunshine. Night star. Moonlight. Making her questioning herself, is it not enough being her for he needed her to be something else? Was she not beautiful enough for he had the urge to always comparing her to something else?
“Eunsook?”
She lifted her head up and found a face she expected the least.
“Kibum?”
The latter smiles and tell the other guys walking with him to leave first. He then casually sits next to Eunsook, looks like a supermodel he is, swiping his hair back. When he looked to his left, Eunsook almost stoned, left him chuckles nervously again, a habit he developed whenever Eunsook’s around him.
“What are you doing here? Don’t tell me you joined this group tour with the guy poking his umbrella to the sky!”
She squinted her tiny eyes, which in Kibum’s mind was too cute to handle.
“Oh, I was walking around doing some sketches taking photos and then my brother called so I gotta sit here and listen to him ranting about unimportant stuff.”
“You like taking photos?” Kibum almost jumped from his seat when he turned to face Eunsook completely.
“Just for fun. I love looking back to all the pictures I took while traveling. Give me lots of nice nostalgic feeling and of course a smooth slap on my head to work harder earning more money for the next trip.”
He cracks to her words, “That is actually hella true. May I see the camera?”
“Of course, Mr. Photographer.”
She smiles so bright while handing the camera, Kibum flustered involuntarily turned his ears all crimson red, “You always use 35mm film?”
He lifted the analog camera a bit.
“Mostly. Or Polaroid. One time I had the 120mm camera but nowadays it’s so hard to find the film.”
“Oh, you have no idea. It’s also freaking hard to find a place that can develop it. Tried to do it by myself, but I ruined it. There it goes all my memory in Hongkong. Gone in flash.”
Kibum cursed himself for convincing himself that Eunsook is the only girl in the world that makes a frown look that beautiful and amazing on a face. Before he embarrassed himself, he checked the camera again in his hand.
“By the way, this is nice camera. My friend had another type from the same brand. Where did you get this?”
“Actually, I bought it accidentally. It was from Porto. We were lost when tried to go back to the hostel and we found this street while wandering around with my friends.”
“Porto? As in Portugal?” she nods, “AH! I know that place! They sell cheap black and white films!”
“You really are a photographer, aren’t you?”
She cannot help but teasing when Kibum got so excited just on the thought of knowing the place she found the treasure. At this rate, not only his ears that rushed by blood.
“Only when I need money to pay my rent.”
“Hahaha!” she slapped his forearm lightly, he flinched silently, “And what brings you here?”
“We just finished a session with local teens. They’re quite having this too-cool-for-school attitude but fashion spread’s always interesting, isn’t it, Miss Designer?”
Eunsook secretly took out her imaginary good-deeds-book. Wits and jokes, checked.
“Anyhow, what are you doing after this?”
“Hmmm, nothing.”
“Fancy grabbing some sweets?”
“What kind of sweet?”
The way her eyes almost popped out her skull brighten Kibum’s day faster than when he received the first print of his magazine, “Pancake, waffle, crepe, anything you prefer as long as it can help with my sugar level.”
“Pancake sounds good.”
“Pancake it is! Let’s go!”
Kibum made a mistake almost embraced her by the shoulder then quietly pretending to push her to walk faster before the circumstance became more awkward.
Her phone beeps once again, she shook her head when she caught a text message arrived on the screen.
‘Eunsook, are you alright? Seems like the vacation is really great, am I right?’
This time she didn’t wait anymore.
‘Indeed, it’s the best summer escapade! I’m okay, by the way.’
***
“I told you not to touch her!”
Kibum massaged the back of his neck for the ten times, too tired for this silly confrontation.
“So, you said it’d better if I just left her alone there at the café while it was drenched outside instead of offering her a ride?”
“I’m tired of your excuse, you sweet mouth! You should hadn’t dragged her to the café at the first place!”
“I’m the one who tired of your accusation! For God’s sake, Kim Junghee! I was just being nice! We lived under the same roof and I’m not allowed to cheer up someone I know who looked upset?”
“Not with such an agenda behind!”
“What kind of agenda are you talking about?!”
“Oh, don’t you dare testing me!” Kibum’s jaw dropped a few centimeter, disbelief with the whole sentence he just heard, “If you’re just being nice, you take her home right away after both of you finished your afternoon snack!”
“That’s the plan! But she said she needs more films for her camera! Am I wrong if I offered to accompany her looking for some?”
“Ha! You just saw your chance to slide in! What a little sneaky head!”
Kibum restrained himself not to raise his voice, he just didn’t want Minho finished his shower and found his best friend yelling to his wife.
“Look. It was raining. I offered her a ride to go back. She asked if I knew a place to buy films! I drove her there and it was still freaking rain. I got called by the people at work on the way. I said I’d get drop her off first at home before I headed to the studio. She said she could grab a taxi. Since I considered it’s not polite to let her do that, I asked her to come with me. That’s it!”
Junghee stomped on the kitchen floor so hard, “You could just drive her first!!!! You have no idea how stressful I was when I couldn’t contact her?!?!”
“Who knows her phone was dead?! She didn’t say anything to me! Had I know I would give her my phone to call or text you! At any rate, if she did find it necessary, she would ask me to make that damned call!”
“Stop it right there, it’s not Eunsook’s fault!”
“Neither mine!” he rolled his tongue inside his mouth trying to control himself, “I know she’s your best friend, Junghee, but she’s not a kid! She’s a grown up and let her be one!”
“Don’t talk like you know her!”
His fist getting harder on his side, “I didn’t. Look. I know you care about her. A lot. I understand. I’m aware that she’s somehow became more vulnerable after everything happened, but you shouldn’t treat her like this! She took the flight here to heal herself if you kept hogging her, when will she be able to heal?”
Kibum got his point but Junghee is too busy protecting her friend she doesn’t even try to swallow all the words from him.
“I don’t need you lecturing me how I treat my friend! Just.. just keep your hand away from her!”
“What if I refuse?”
“What did you just said?!”
Kibum hesitated to say something more, so he just stood there, lips sealed together, his eyes drilling a hole through the air. Junghee flustered and doesn’t know what to do, she expected him to give some counter attack harsher than before. Not a serious answer like that.
“Listen, leave her alone or I would never speak to you again!”
She left him standing by the island counter and paced to her room upstairs. When she passed Eunsook who just went back inside the house after called her partner in Milan at the porch, she purposely darted her eyes away. The latter confused but knowing that her best friend has such a temper, she decided to let it go.
A small smile formed on her face when she saw Kibum’s by the kitchen.
“Is everything alright?” Kibum turned his head and just shrugged, “Kibum?”
Eunsook sensed something’s wrong by the flat expression on his face.
“Nothing.”
She’s the least person he wanted to encounter at the second, he tried to avoid her but the look she gave him just made everything more uncomfortable.
“Are you sure?”
“Pretty much.”
“Hmm.. I don’t think so.”
“No, really.”
“Come on, you can talk about it.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not.”
“Eunsook, I’m okay. Let’s just shake it off, I’m tired.”
He told her the truth, actually. Kibum’s just exhausted and he needs his time to compose himself after the heated conversation with Junghee.
“What’s wrong with you? Is Junghee okay?”
“Why don’t you just ask your best friend, huh? She’s the one who started! Why should I am the one who feel guilty here?!”
It seems like that was his final giveaway. His pitched showed up, startling Eunsook a little bit. The stern look he put is not making it easier for her. Inside, Kibum wants to kick himself on the shin for being such an asshole just now, helpless under the invisible spell Eunsook sent him.
And feels guilty he is, indeed. She had nothing to do and he just exploded ridiculously in front of her. So he dropped the glass he hold to the sink recklessly, the loud clank on its metal surface dropped a frown on Eunsook’s face, and just went to his room, leaving strange stagnant on the air for her.
Confused and a little disappointed, Eunsook just swallowed back all the sentences she prepared to thank him for the nice afternoon they shared.
***
Thirty minutes passed with Kibum paced back and forth behind his closed door. Sometimes he sat at the edge of his bed, tapped his foot on the floor restlessly, and stood up again, repeating the monotonous anxiety attack.
Seriously, he felt awful not only because he snapped on a girl that supposed to be his current major crush until this morning, but also because he realized how helpless he was in front of the girl. And all those feeling had taken him sunken deep on ocean of guilty.
Junghee might be right, the way he treated Eunsook just now could cause huge mess. This is the first time since almost forever Kibum does care about his image in front of other. Suddenly he’s afraid she might think he’s the biggest jerk on earth who had this hot and cold attitude, once a very nice and kind guy then yell on her face for something she didn’t even know just for the reason he lose control on stupid stuffs.
He doesn’t want that.
“Why are you so stupid, Kim Kibum…”
He threw himself on the mattress and kept staring on the ceiling for solid ten minutes before he jolted to the door, took one deep breath, and carefully pushed it forward.
The living room is empty, leaving only small aquarium at the corner being the source of light. However, when looked across the room, dim light seeped through small gap between the floor and the door of Eunsook’s room.
She’s still awake.
“Eunsook?”
The soft knock on the door didn’t reciprocate. The drumroll banging inside his chest became louder each second passed in silent.
“Lee Eunsook? Can I come in?”
He waited again but nothing happened.
Is she mad at me? Shit.
Various scenarios flashed on his mind and not any single of it makes him comfortable. He might regret it later, but his guts are so much makes sense more than anything.
Slowly he opened the door, but the scene welcomes him is way more unpredictable.
On her bed, Eunsook’s sleeping like a five years old, blanket tucked until her chin and hair splattered here and there but somehow framed her soft jaw as if someone did it on purpose. And Kibum, Kibum just stiffen right on the threshold, hand glued to the handle.
How come a girl can turn someone defenseless without doing anything?
She just breathes, her shoulder moves in a slow rhythm. Kibum knew he’s crazy but he swear in such distance he can see how her eyelashes intertwined each other hiding the beautiful eyes she had, kissed her cheeks in silent melody. If he had camera in his hand, he would had already taken hundreds picture of her sleeping.
Creepy, he knows.
But in Kibum justification, everyone should be creepy once in a while when they’re in love, shouldn’t they?
Ah. In love?
Kibum gripped his chest for a moment and decided to turn of the light before he closed the door cautiously.
“Forget it, Kim Kibum..”
***
Chapter 3