So last week my family and I went out to dinner and I was kinda semi-arguing with my dad about family stuff and my dad was saying, “Oh, it goes both ways” in reference to the way we speak/act toward each other or whatever and unable to help myself despite not even knowing whether my dad is actually really aware I’m bisexual or is okay with it, I blurted out a terrible, terrible joke: “That ain’t the only thing that goes both ways!” and just gave my mom and my sister a knowing look.
My mom looked horrified, thinking a fight with my dad was about to break out over my being gay. My dad looked confused. My sister looked insulted and was kinda giving me a ‘wtf’ look.
When my dad got up from the table, I asked my mom and sister, “You got the joke, right?”
My sister replied, “Yeah, but it wasn’t funny. It wasn’t appropriate for the dinner table.”
And while I said I couldn’t help myself and that it slipped out but I felt like our dad wouldn’t have appreciated it and how I don’t know if he knows about my sexuality, I just kind of blurted it out I guess to secretly test the waters or something amongst my family.
ANYWAY I tell my sister there’s nothing inappropriate aside from that and that all it is is a light-hearted, clean joke about being bisexual meaning I’m attracted to men and women. And she goes, “I know what it means, but I still don’t think it was appropriate--” and I go to say, “What, I like guys and I like girls. What’s wrong with that?” And she cuts me off and makes like...this ‘wtf ew no too much info!’ face.
And from that day on I realized my sister ain’t really an ally. If I’d made a joke about being straight, that wouldn’t have gotten any sort of tension or awkward or inappropriate looks.
She’s sadly one of many, many people who seem to think that gayness needs to be censored. That we should keep or gay feelings and thoughts to ourselves and not share them or subjects others to them because they’re not “appropriate” for any kind of polite or family-related conversation.
