#evalien dragonborn

[wellthebardsdead]

So I had a glitch in my last Skyrim playthrough during the dark brotherhood. I woke up in the abandoned shack and Astrid was just injured on the ground. Dialogue continued as normal, left the shack.

I left the shack and as I did for some reason Astrid did too. Outside, Lydia was there along with my other followers, and Lydia then proceeded to start beating the ever living shit out of Astrid and the others joined in.

So logically I can only assume for some reason the game triggered Astrid as hostile and Lydia attacked. But now I’m head cannoning that Astrid broke in, got caught in the process of kidnapping Eva. And Lydia chased her all across Skyrim beating the shit out of her the entire way.

[wellthebardsdead]

Taliesin: oh yes. This has the foresworn written all over it. Limbs everywhere, hagraven feathers on the ground, The victims bodies dismembered on an altar of antlers.

Evalien: Dear god.

Taliesin: Most likely yes.

[wellthebardsdead]

Kaidan: prick.

Taliesin: your face is so unpleasant you’ll have no fear of getting sunburnt.

Kaidan: …what?

Evalien: He said your so ugly even the sun wouldn’t look at you.

Kaidan: …-Oh! you little shi-

[wellthebardsdead]

Taliesin: hmm…

Evalien: What is it?

Taliesin: it’s just- this salad.

Evalien: what’s wrong with it this time? Did I use too much lettuce?

Taliesin: No, no it’s just a little too dry. I just thought it needed a dressing.

Evalien: …

Taliesin: … *takes off running*

Evalien: COME HERE YOU LITTLE SH-

[wellthebardsdead]

Willow: why is corn mentioned so much in scary stories?

Evalien: what??

Willow: I just read a scary story, gave me the willies like all the others I’ve read did but, why do so many of them keep mentioning corn? Is there something these writers know about corn that the rest of us don’t?!

Evalien: Willow what are you talking about??

Willow: the word macabre keeps turning up! Tell her what you told me Taliesin!

Evalien: …

Taliesin: …Corn on the ma-cob-

Evalien: *pulls off her sandal* COME HERE!

[wellthebardsdead]

Taliesin: well in my opinion-

Evalien: I wouldn’t be giving any opinions if my French tips looked like Spanish suggestions. Fix your nails before you come for me.

Taliesin: …I-i don’t know what French or Spanish is but… I feel very attacked right now!!

[wellthebardsdead]

Marigold: cast iron? As in the cookware or is that a new transmutation spell?

Taliesin: If it is I imagine it becomes stronger the more… seasoned the wizard is~

Evalien: *pulling off her sandal to hit him* I TOLD YOU TO STO-

[wellthebardsdead]

Xelzaz: oh look! A hist tree- Eva are you alright?

Evalien: I can hear the wind singing, the plants shrieking and the earth itself moving, now that fucking tree is muttering to me!! if anything else weird so much as happens right now I am going to scream!

Taliesin: *grabs her and turns her around quickly as the Hist tree gets up and starts walking away* lets go sit down for a few minutes-