Day 158. Making decisions.
I had a dilemma.
Dilemma- stay where I am at or go back and fix my past relationship.
Thoughts: I debated for 2-3 days straight and received some advice from friends/family/etc.
I still do not know if I made the right decision. I want to be with my ex. but at the same time we already been broken up for 4-5 months. Our 6 years relationship is one of the biggest reason why I am so confuse and frustrated. I do not know the answer and do not know what to do.
Although, I don’t know what to do I decided to tell her to not wait anymore. I told her that so she can move on and it will be fair for her. I do not want to waste her time. It’s me not her. I use to think this line is full of bullshit, but in this situation it is true. I am the confused one. She does not deserve any of this.
The biggest question I ask myself is whether I will regret this decision or not. This time it will be permanent. Can I see the rest of my life without this woman? Will I regret it? Will I miss her for the rest of my life?
If I can start all over again from the beginning I would. As of now it is permanent. This outlet have helped me vent and now I am much better. Life goes on and all I hope for is that she finds a good man. A loving man. One that will adore everything about her. Adore the way she smiles, her ways of teasing, her lips, beautiful small thin fingers, hugs, laughter, and most of all her personality.
