@glitterintheair ( cont from this. )
she had already known the answer to her complaint, yet she can not conceal the shudder that passes through her body, the grimace that can not leave her painted face. no matter how long it has been, how many cameras she has polished her smile for, it never stops being a horrifying ordeal to give herself like that. at home, she had been respected way before being a victor, for who she really was, but here, they did not respect her — they only wanted the bits of her they could consume, that was of their taste, and she had to give that to them, at snow's behest. katniss wonders if effie would ask this of them if she knew of the president's threats, if she understood how difficult this was. after a year, katniss wants to believe there is some affection between them, and sometimes it does sound like there is, when she catches peeta on the phone with their escort or when effie fusses and reassures her, like now, but katniss is not always great at knowing for sure with these things.
tightening the line her lips form, katniss' expression shifts from complete defeat to an attempt of determination, and she pays close attention to the avoid list. she can not always tell faces apart here, blinded by their shimmering appearances and different coloring, but there are some points she can pick apart to tell who's who, and she spends a moment trying to imprint them into her mind. "is peeta also receiving this much coaching? or our tributes?" maybe it's childish to ask when she knows the answer to this too — she was the one who could never seem to do things right, apparently. it's best she swallows her resentment for tonight, though. she's not here for herself, and all that she does reflects on others — her family, gale and his, even on haymitch and effie, too. still, she asks: “have you seen them? i should check up on them, before.” she had been all nerves before the chariot ride, and though they had been at the peril of being burned alive, katniss would have preferred that to this.
"is that what you do? play pretend, all the time?" the surprise in her voice is altogether genuine, if somewhat out of place. sure, effie was tightly - wound (and it would be hypocritical of katniss to poke on it, so she doesn't), but to katniss it always seemed as if she did enjoy this, this life, this city, these people. it had never occurred to her that effie, too, would ever be uncomfortable about anything but bad manners or them not meeting her well - prepared schedules. "that seems tiring, effie. exhausting, actually, from experience." they don't talk about how much of things are entirely fabricated — it seems like an unspoken agreement between the three victors of district 12 not to disrupt effie's view of the image they've built for her and peeta — but effie must know the way her shoulders slump is not only out of her defiance to fit in.










