I feel sick and alone and everyone is busy and I'm not close enough to people why do they push me away am I doing something wrong. I've tried being a good friend, I've gave them time, space, care, affection, understanding, I give and give and give and get nothing and I'm scared to text people because I fucked up and I fucked up so bad and ik they aren't upset at all but when I think of them I think of that. And no one cares about this rant but I need it tumblr is like my little dumpster fire at 12 am I just want to sleep its a school night. I'm turning 15 this weekend what have I done with my life I'm so stressed and lonely. I love her but she's moved on and I have to accept that and go get over her I tried this other guy who hurt me he pulled me along knowing I loved the thought of him. Or was it the thought of being in bed with him idrc he was so sweet in person what happened to cuddles. Why did I let my ex do that did I really want that? Maybe but now I live with it everyday. He promised I'm so tired of empty promises. I've forgiven my mom but I'm so broken. All my friends say they love me but it's not enough cuz friendship can't make you love yourself. Maybe this is my toxic talking. I wanna smoke so bad but she's asleep and I promised. I keep seeing people that I want to be get the things in life and I've tried confidence but they tear it down no I'm not mentally stable. My meds oh my meds. I want to talk but they are isolating rn so fml. I just want to be held. My dog peed on me today on my way to Nashville then on my way home after I had changed. No I didn't do my homework. God kill me. Also u quiz keeps telling me I'll be loved some day but I need it before I break.
