In the Midst of a Life's Dream
And here I am again, finding myself in the midst of people whom I barely knew. Keeping me company are two of my best of friends sharing a laugh from a back story which happened in the party where we came in and then it happened, I snapped.
Snapped from the reality of things. What am I doing with my life?
Suddenly I came to know about keen control of my senses. I feel, hear and see things no one appreciates. I became something else, something invincible. Then everyone in that moment became a blur. The world shifted and I notice too many things at once zooming each moment and saving them in memory by choice.
I noticed the stone road that we’re walking on. It’s like an old marble mountain which was carved and paved to be in its current state right now. It’s rough but not quite. I can see the veins of the rock being lined on its white to yellowish surface. Veins that looked like blood actually flowed through it. Crevices can also be seen as this path was taken by several million, no trillion if not billion steps from people passing this tourism hot spot. I suddenly realized that this rocky road, is way too literal. There’s rocks everywhere like I’m in freaking Great Wall of China! And another realization, I didn’t know where the fuck I am!
I started to panic. My heart rapidly beating like never before. I can feel it race in my chest which felt like I am running a marathon which I’m not at the moment. I’m just here, standing still watching the blur of people pass by taking notice every once in a while certain features of this place, And then I started questioning the situation, and at the same time throwing questions at myself which I can’t seem to answer.
Who are those two friends I’m laughing with earlier?
And where the fuck am I going?
Two things I know at the moment: one, I’m confused as hell and two, I just need to trust my instincts and keep moving forward.
As I take those steps, more blurry people came opposite of where I’m going. It almost suffocated me. I doubted for a moment that I’m going the wrong way but I noticed two things.
Further towards my direction, on the right of staircase, there’s a big old tree which doesn’t have much leaves on it except on the top part. I wanted to take a photograph, and I felt the eagerness, the need to look at this majestic sight up close. I wanted to touch the old tree and feel the air in that area. Now I felt like I’m in Baguio with the chilly wind but at the same time in California, with the bright setting of this area.
Every step I took towards that area seemed forever to take. My legs are too heavy to lift and my feet are like being electrocuted by small needles every time it touches the ground. It’s that awkward sensation I feel yet I chose to continue on this weird path. Once again, still being creeped out by this moment and by this situation I’m in.
The first open space that we came about together with my two friends which became part of the blurry background started to narrow as I go closer to the stairs silhouette I’m seeing just below the tree I wanted to go to.
Little by little, my steps as crumbly as they may be and as hard as to take them, pushed my way to the stairs. It would seem like I have a fascination with rocks because apparently the stairs which I’m going to take is also a stone one. Am I in stone era or something? But sure so I’m not.
As I take the first step on the stairs, if felt like I lost control of gravity, which I realized no one have in the first place. If felt like I’m experiencing normal pull of gravity times 10. That’s damn-shit 10G’s.
You know the feeling of riding in a top-speed rollercoaster, if it’s one hell of a ride for you, it’s almost 2G compared to regular Earth’s 1G or gravity per say. It’s like the ground is pulling you twice as much but now, one this stairs, multiply the rollercoaster ride by 5 or the regular Earth’s gravity by 10. It’s so hard to take a step, but I’m eager to finish this stairs and get to that tree.
Step after step, I would curse and say I couldn’t go on anymore and yet I continue, occasionally bumping my shin to the corner of each step up feeling every sensation of it. Sweat dripping on my face as my surrounding swish and swirl around me. It seem impossible for me to continue on and so I prayed that I could somehow manage to be on the top most part of it. I rested for bit. Closed my eyes and started to feel my strength being restored for me. Gravity being back to its normal pull once again. Sweat dripping no more. And then I opened my eyes and there I was, taking the last step of the staircase. The tree almost in my grasp.
The air here surely feels fine, fresh and definitely relaxing. It’s not that cold nor hot to handle. It’s the typical let’s-go-to-a-picnic kind of vibe. And I’m also fascinated as to why am I still on the last step. I haven’t finished the stairs yet.
I felt scared that this moment wouldn’t last. Or that I couldn’t feel the way I feel after I took that final step. I’m weary that when I get there, to the majestic scene I noticed when I was down there in the blur, everything would change. That the beauty I once saw, wouldn’t be there anymore. I’m afraid that I was fooled and foolish enough to undergo all these hardships just to see a bad ending.
Even with all these hesitations and apprehensions, I took the last and final step. At that moment I felt victorious like I’m invincible. And then there was this bright blinding light and that was it.
After a few months of not having a dream or should I say, not remembering one, I had one again for a brief moment. At this time.
